Ash vs Evil Dead

Ahh! You had the nightmare again.

Who are you? I'm Doctor Peacock.

Your psychiatrist, remember?

I don't have a shrink.

I've been your doctor ever since your psychotic break.

My what?

Meet Ashy Slashy.

Let's rid ourselves of the Necronomicon, Ash.

I didn't do this! You're a murderer.

No!

Think it's time that we tried a new tactic.

Rid yourself of the book,

and the nightmare will be over.

Kill the book, Ash.

Kill the book.

I think I'm losing my mind.

You're mine now.

You know what you have to do, don't you?

I must destroy the book.

Jefe?

**

*

All right, if we actually do find him,

no one can tell him it was because of that

stupid pet tracker.

He'll never let us forget it.

Come on guys, let's go save the world.

Can I get a Ghost Beaters!

Well, good thing this place isn't creepy at all.

What is it?

Nothing.

I thought I saw something.

You okay?

No, I'm not.

I got a really bad feeling about this.

Really, because I haven't had a good feeling

since we met Ash, and his stupid book.

That's exactly it.

The Book of the Dead never lets anybody off easy.

It's like Ash said, everyone around him gets...

dead.

And now I am the book,

and I can never be okay with myself

if something bad-- Hey.

Where'd my powerful vagina go?

Huh?

Pablo, it's going to be a piece of cake, all right?

We'll find Ash, you'll take out that Goth demon.

And then back to Jacksonville.

Mmm, maybe not Jacksonville.

But listen, you take care of this,

I'll even make sure Ash gets the first round.

Yeah, right.

We're going to be okay.

Trust me.

No, trust me.

We are not going to be okay if we underestimate Baal.

All right? Let's go.

I did what you said.

He bought it. All of it!

Now, please...

just... let Lacey go.

I brought Linda and Lacey here

like you wanted, Baal.

Now come on, you got to keep your end of the deal.

But keeping my end of the deal is, so boring.

It's more fun to change things up at the last minute.

Keeps everyone on their toes.

This is your fault, Thomas!

No, no, no, he said he would protect us!

All I had to do was get you here!

No.

Looks like someone's sleeping on the couch tonight.

I'll take this end.

Don't shoot.

It's me, Sheriff Emery.

You think knowing who you are

makes me want to shoot you any less?

Shh, shh, shh.

You shouldn't be here.

Tell us where Ash is.

Now!

I didn't do it.

Any of it.

It was Baal.

He messed with my head.

Daddy?

Is that you?

- Sweetheart? - Lacey?

Are you...

okay?

Uh yeah, I'm okay.

I mean... I could be better,

if my father didn't bring me here.

Because I have to say, dying,

totally sucks!

No!

Fuck!

Pablo!

Now honey, we can fix this!

Pablo!

I can't get a shot!

Huh?!

Get out of here!

Watch out!

Look, Daddy! A unicorn!

Magic is real!

Abracadabra.

No!

Shit!

Lacey!

Are you okay? I'm good!

Find Ash!

Ash? Ruby?

Ahh!

Daddy?

Lacey.

Daddy.

Lacey?

What's happening to me?

I don't know.

It's going to be okay.

Promise?

Get out of the way, Sheriff.

Dad, Daddy, she wants to hurt me.

That's not your daughter anymore, Sheriff.

She's still in there.

I can save her. No, you can't.

I've been there.

Now I know, that we've had our differences,

but I need you to trust me, and get out of the way.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh.

Daddy... I love you.

I just want us to be a family again.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

The only thing you sucked at more than being the sheriff,

was being a father.

No!

Oh look!

He does have a backbone after all!

Tag! You're it!

Damn it!

Kelly.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Tag! You're dead!

You're it.

I'm sorry, Lacey.

Sorry you got caught up in this bullshit.

And I'm sorry that your father

was a self-serving son of a bitch.

You were a good kid.

I'm also sorry I'm now totally alone

in this creepy ass place.

Yay me.

Lacey?

Where are you, baby?

Lacey?

Please answer me.

Baby?

Ah, oh.

Wh- what?

Thomas?

Jefe?

Santo padre usted lo ve todo.

Pablo.

Um...

I got a feeling whatever power this pendant

has to hold back the book isn't going to last.

I'm with you now.

Oh, this is Baal's work for sure.

He knows we're here.

We got to get to Ash before Baal scrambles his peanut brain.

Shit.

What is it?

This is going to happen whether we like it or not, isn't it?

Look, we're going to find Baal.

You're going to harness the power of that Book against him,

and none of this is going to be in vain.

And you promise me that we're all going to live

happily ever after?

Even if this goes perfectly,

there's a good chance you'll die.

Wow.

Ruby, I know you're new to this whole mortal thing,

but in our world,

where people don't live forever,

the idea of dying really sucks.

Well, I was just trying to be honest.

But all right, you go on thinking about

all the sweet things you're going to do,

if you survive or not, I'll find a way out of here.

I do have this one idea for a Honduran food truck,

that also fixes electronics.

Pablito's Fish and Chips.

Like computer chips.

You get it?

No. That's awful. What else you got?

Oh good, another pitch black hallway.