The Big Bang Theory

It's, like, the best one they make,

I just can't get it to work. I'll figure it out.

It streams HD video straight to your phone while it's flying.

Nice.

Where were you when I was single?

Okay, we should leave in about an hour. You all packed?

Uh, yeah, I just need to throw in a few last minute things--

you know, makeup, underwear, clothes.

If your bathroom floor

counts as a carry-on, you're packed.

Leonard, have you ever given

a high school commencement speech before?

Nope. It's pretty exciting.

Aren't you afraid of being blinded?

How would I be blinded?

At the end of the ceremony,

all the students throw those pointy hats in the air.

It's all pomp and circumstance

until someone loses an eye.

I'll take my chances.

Fine.

I wonder if they make

"I told you so" cards in braille.

Look, the problem with commencement speeches

is that they're boring.

Ooh, do you own a T-shirt cannon?

Why would he own a T-shirt cannon?

I don't know. Why do I own one?

I think it's really nice

that you're sharing this experience with Penny.

Mm, I thought it'd be fun

to show her my old stomping grounds.

I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me.

Well, now you get to go back

as a successful scientist.

With a beautiful girl on your arm.

And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball.

How'd you get ready so fast?

Oh, I pack light.

Once, I got through an entire spring break

with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.

Why did you need a belt?

It's called an evening look.

I've never been to New Jersey before.

It gets a bad rap from shows

like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.

So it's not really like that?

No, it's like that.

Well, I'm excited to show you around.

You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?

Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press,

but I'm not doing that either.

Uh-oh.

I just got an alert.

Our flight's been canceled.

What?

Yeah, looks like there's a big storm

all up the East Coast.

Well, can we get on another airline?

I don't think so.

So, that's it?

We're not going?

I guess not.

Well, that sucks.

Yeah.

I worked hard on that speech, too.

Oh. You could tell it to me.

Oh, thank you, but I'm okay.

Are you sure?

I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader

who can't control herself around esteemed alumni.

Greetings, distinguished cheerleaders.

Ooh!

Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on,

they're both on the same network;

we should be getting an image.

All I see is a black screen.

And my own reflection.

I look sad.

Maybe we should recalibrate it.

All right. Step one:

rapidly flip the calibration switch

from the fully up to the fully down positions

for at least ten times.

It actually says "at least"?

Yeah.

Why would they say "at least"?

Is it ten toggles?

Is it 100 toggles? You know?

Is it 1,000 toggles?

10,000 toggles? 100,000 toggles?

Sheldon!

You see where I'm going with this.

Just flip the switch

until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow.

All right, that seems simple enough.

Initiating calibration sequence.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Well, I suppose ten is technically "at least ten."

But they're still getting at least one angry letter.

Now I rotate it horizontally

on its center axis until the lights turn green.

Initiating rotation sequence.

Don't look at me, initiate.

Oh... What does red and yellow mean?

It means the calibration failed.

We have to start over.

Oh. Very well.

Reinitiating calibration sequence.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...

...eleven.

It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.

Mm. Hello, Daddy. What's up?

Not much, just wanted to see how my son's doing.

Very well, thank you.

Are you still dating that dermatologist?

If you could feel how soft my skin is,

you wouldn't have to ask.

Oh, and there's something else I wanted to ask you.

Why did you spend a month's rent on a toy helicopter?!

Oh, you're where that bill goes.

I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle.

It's time you learned responsibility.

And the only way to teach you that

is to cut off your allowance.

No, Daddy, no!

There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility.

I know, you can give me an egg

and make me take care of it for a week!

No, my mind is made up.

Starting now, you're on your own.

But, Daddy, I-I miss my family so much,

and with you and Mummy getting a divorce,

I feel sad and empty.

Buying a little toy

every now and then helps me fill that void.

So while I can't hug you every day,

flying that helicopter...

I'm cutting you off.

Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?

No red and yellow,

no red and yellow.

Yay! It's green!

We did it!

Oh!

God, if it's this much fun to rotate, imagine when we fly it.

Okay, now all I have to do is rotate it vertically

until the lights turn off.

Oh, no! Oh!

All right, playtime's over.

Let's open this baby up.

Won't that void the warranty?

Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering.

I wipe my bottom with warranties.

Except for AppleCare.

That pays for itself in the long run.

Hi.

Hey, where'd you go?

I got you a little something to cheer you up.

Really?

Sex last night, pancakes this morning--

Am I dying?

Just open it.

A cap and gown?

Why do I need a cap and gown?

Because you are giving your commencement speech.

What are you talking about?

I called your old high school

and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype.

Really?

That's amazing!

And you gave me the robes to give it in.

Thank you.

Yeah, now about those--

uh, they came from a costume shop,

and all they had left was sexy graduate,

so they...

might be a little short.

Short and sexy, that's my wheelhouse.

Yeah!

Boy, oh, boy, that's a lot of pieces.

You know what they all do, right?

Yes, of course.

What about this one?

Well, I... how familiar are you

with miniaturized integrated logic circuits?

Not very.

That right there is a miniaturized

integrated logic circuit.

So, can you get it working?

I'm an MIT-trained engineer.

I've built components for the space station.

I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.

It worked fine,

it just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts

and their potato-based diet.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Hello.