The Big Bang Theory

I was offered a summer research fellowship at Princeton.

Princeton, a fine institution.

The place where Albert Einstein taught

and where Leonard got his PhD, so it may have gone downhill.

Just remember, I'm proud of you and I support you in all that you do.

Thank you, that means a lot.

Oh, and one last thing, if you find yourself working with a male scientist

who's as smart as me, as tall as me, and has hair like Thor,

well, then, I want you to step away from the situation and call me immediately.

How are you settling in?

Pretty well. Princeton has a beautiful campus.

You know, I've learned some fun facts about New Jersey,

to help you make small talk.

Would you like to know the state bird or the murder rate?

They're both shocking.

Actually, I want to hear about you.

How are things at home?

Well, I'm a lot less likely to see an Eastern Goldfinch or be murdered,

I'll tell you that.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

It's so strange, earlier today, I ended a sentence with a preposition,

and you weren't there to correct my grammar.

I am sorry you had to go through that.

In fact, that's when I started to really miss you.

You know you just split an infinitive.

Did I? Are you going to teach me a lesson?

Lam!

It is naughty to put an adverb between the word "to" and the verb stem.

What are you going to do about it?

I'm going to admonish you.

Vigorously?

That's the only kind of admonishing I do.

How's Sheldon doing with Amy gone?

Well, the last three nights, I've had to take him to get a haircut,

to the train store and to a Walgreens in Arcadia,

where they still have the "good ibuprofen."

Now ask me how I'm doing with Amy gone.

- How are you doing with... - Shut up.

If you'd like, we can help you out.

Oh, that would be great.

I mean, not me, I've got a wife and child,

but this one posts video of himself flossing on lnstagram.

It was a tutorial.

And yes, I'm happy to keep Sheldon company.

Great, tonight he wants to look at ladders at Home Depot.

Oh, why does he need a ladder?

He doesn't, he just likes looking at them, bring a book.

Gentlemen, you may remember Dr. Nowitzki, she's back at Caltech for her postdoc.

- Hello. - Hi. Oh, let me bring a chair for you.

Oh, thanks. Dr. Nowitzki is going to tell me about the work she did at CERN.

And she brought me this duty-free Toblerone.

on, I love those!

Let's sit somewhere else.

What just happened?

A strangerjust lured Sheldon away with a candy bar.

Isn't she the grad student that used to follow him around?

Oh, yeah, back before he hit puberty and grew man parts.

So, what do you guys think that's about?

Knowing Sheldon, nothing.

So, tell me about your scalar dark energy experiment.

Not till you tell me about your latest paper on quantum loop theory.

Oh. You must be one of those dessert-before-dinner people.

He just made her laugh, something's wrong.

Do you see the way she's looking at him?

Yeah. Like Bernadette used to look at me.

I keep telling you, close the bathroom door.

Oh, did you see that?

She just touched his hand and he didn't swat it away.

What is happening?

Okay, the simplest explanation is usually the right one.

- Which is? - That ain't Sheldon.

Not only did they eat together, Leonard said he made her laugh!

That's nothing, Howie said she touched his hand.

What? Did he Purell?

No.

I cannot believe Leonard mentioned the Toblerone,

but left that part out.

Should we call Amy?

I don't know, we shouldn't worry her if it's nothing.

I guess we could wait till we have more information

- about this girl. - Yeah.

Do you think living with Amy has somehow stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?

Ugh!

How can you think that?

Why would you even put those words together?

All right, then we agree, he's not making any moves,

it's this Dr. Ramona chick.

Nowitzki. I googled her, she's pretty cute.

Really? All I got from Leonard was, "The Toblerone bar had nuts."

Oh! And get this, I saw an articulating ladder with dual-leg leveling,

which delivers stability and adaptability to uneven terrain.

Sounds like a big night.

Raj made the funniest joke, he said,

"Which is the best ladder to use to hang myself?"

So you're keeping busy, you're not lonely?

Not at all. No, I've had outings with Leonard and Raj in the evening,

and, Oh, I had lunch with Dr. Nowitzki.

Who's he?

Oh, no, Dr. Nowitzki is a woman.

Oh, really? When did you meet her?

Many years ago, back when she was a grad student.

She's always been a huge fan of my work, and now she's doing research at Caltech.

"Huge fan" you say?

Yes. I think you'd like her.

She's extremely intelligent, just like you.

Unlike you, she's tall, blonde and used to be an Olympic swimmer.

That's terrific, I'll call you right back.

"Oh. hey, Amy. 'l gave you one job!

Keep an eye on him! How hard is that?

We thought you meant not letting him run out into traffic.

Which he only did once.

Why didn't you tell me?

We didn't want you to worry.

Should I worry?

No, come on, it's Sheldon, nothing is going to happen.

That's what you said to me when I started dating him.

And then five years later, bingo-bango, something happened!

Yeah, but you're going to be back in three months.

You don't get it.

I've been smacking that ketchup bottle for a long time.

All she's got to do is tip it over and point it at her fries!

What do you want us to do?

I don't know!

Might be the New Jersey talking,

but this Nowitzki broad needs to disappear.

That's ridiculous.

As far as we know, all that happened is two scientists had lunch.

Yeah, but one of those scientists is a tall, blonde Olympic swimmer!

Oh, come on, looks don't matter to Sheldon.

Because he only has eyes for you.

- Nice try. - Thanks, I was scrambling.

It's unbelievable.

Sheldon has lunch with another woman, and somehow my wife yells at me.

Penny laid into me, too.

Apparently, I'm overly fixated on premium Swiss chocolate bars.

Can you even eat those things?

Mmm, if I take a LACTAID a half-hour before and some Pepto right after.

Sounds like a lot of work.

Ha, I'm worth it.

Guys, focus. Should we do something about Nowitzki?

Like what?

Uh, well, she's single, so if somebody else asks her out,

and she says yes, then we know she's not into Sheldon.

I'll do it.

No offense, Stuart, but the woman's a doctor.

So? Doctors like me.

Whenever I see mine, he calls in a bunch of other doctors to have a look.