Metalocalypse

ON A MUTILATED MISSION TO INFLICT MERCILESS PAIN

SACRIFICE YOUR SOUL TO THE DEITY OF DETH

SHE'S CONCOCTED YOUR MURDER AND YOU'VE LOST ALL YOUR DEFENSE

TRY BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE

THE HUNT IS ON YOUR LIFE IS GONE

CASTRATIKRON EYES

THEY WILL GO BLIND IF LOOKED BEYOND

>> >> NATHAN!

NATHAN, LOOK!

CAN YOU GET US BACKSTAGE?

WE'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE!

WE'LL TOTALLY SUCK YOUR HOG!

>> NATHAN!

>> YEAH, WE'LL TOTALLY GANG-BANG YOU!

ALL OF US WILL!

NATHAN!

CUT OUR FACES OFF!

CUT MY ARMS OFF!

>> UH...

I--I--I CAN'T.

>> WHAT'S HE SAYING?

>> WHAT'S HE SAYING?!

>> I CAN'T.

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW.

>> NO!

NO!

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

TEACH YOU WHO

TOKI WARTOOTH NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> >> HEY, NATE.

WHAT THE HELL?

AIN'T YOU GONNA GET PAINTED BY NAKED LADIES WITH US?

>> NO.

I'M--I'M COOL.

>> ALWAYS YOUS GETS PAINTED BY NAKED LADY, HUH?

YOU LOVES IT.

>> I WANT TO GO NOW!

>> WHAT THE HELLS, NATHAN?

YOU BRING YOUR GIRLFRIENDS BACKSTAGE?

>> SHE KNOW HOW--WHERE IT IS, YOU KNOW, SO...

>> SHE'S PROBABLY KEEPING WATCH LIKE A HAWK.

>> IT'S ANOTHER JUDGMENTAL BIRD FACE BAND-WRECKER.

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT? NOTHING.

GOD, YOU'RE PARANOID.

OH, THERE'S MY DRINK OVER THERE.

GOTTA GO!

>> YOUS GONNA HANGS OUT.

COME ON.

>> WE GOTTA GO.

WE GOT PLANS WITH MY PARENTS, REMEMBER?

>> YEAH, I WISH I COULD, BUT-- >> LET'S GO.

>> FEEL, UH, FREE TO HELP ME OUT

WITH THIS.

>> THE WORLD SEEMS TO BE GOING CRAZY OVER THE WHIRLWIND ROMANCE

OF DETHKLOK FRONTMAN NATHAN EXPLOSION AND CELEBRITY

PERSONALITY REBECCA NIGHTROD, NOW SIMPLY KNOWN AS NATEBECCA OR

REBESPLOSION.

DESPITE THE THOUSANDS OF FEMALE SUICIDES, IT LOOKS LIKE THE

WORLD HAS COME TO EMBRACE THE JOINING OF THESE TWO MEDIA

MONSTERS.

NO TALK OF BABIES YET, BUT WE'VE DONE SOME WORK ON OUR OWN AND

ARE READY TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT THE METAL BABY GOD MIGHT LOOK

LIKE.

>> IT APPEARS THAT NATHAN EXPLOSION HAS FOUND HIMSELF

A GIRLFRIEND.

>> A CELEBRITY GIRLFRIEND.

>> HER NAME IS REBECCA NIGHTROD, AND SHE'S A WORLD-CLASS TENNIS

PLAYER TURNED SITCOM ACTOR/ MODEL.

>> AND HER FATHER IS A DECORATED DIGNITARY.

VERY INFLUENTIAL IN THE POLITICAL WORLD.

>> GENTLEMEN, CELEBRITY RELATIONSHIP EXPERT HORACE

MARMINGBLAT WIMPLESTEIN JR. >> WHEN TWO HIGH-PROFILE

CELEBRITIES BEGIN A RELATIONSHIP, IT CAN UPSET THE

BALANCE OF THE WORLD.

THE JOINING OF THESE TWO MONUMENTAL EGOS CAN CREATE A

SOCIOLOGICAL SUPERNOVA THAT OVERSHADOWS WORLDLY EVENTS AND

SHIFTS THE PERSPECTIVE FROM IMPORTANCE TO PERIPHERAL.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THIS MAKES THE AMERICAN PUBLIC EVEN MORE

STUPID AND MALLEABLE, BUT THE BAD NEWS IS THAT IT MAKES THEM,

THE COUPLE, THOUSANDS OF TIMES MORE POWERFUL, AND WE CANNOT

HAVE THAT.

>> WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO ABOUT THIS?

>> WE HAVE ONE THING IN OUR FAVOR--THE MALE SEX DRIVE.

YOU SEE, WHEN A MAN WHO CAN HAVE ANY WOMAN HE WANTS ENTERS INTO

AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, HE'S FORCED TO CONSIDER THAT WHICH HE

IS LEAVING BEHIND.

COMBINE THAT WITH REBECCA NIGHTROD'S TIGHT PUBLIC HOLD ON

EXPLOSION, AND WE COULD CREATE A RELATIONSHIP TORNADO.

>> YES.

>> GENTLEMEN, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE UNITED STATES PORNOGRAPHY

AWARDS?

>> I'VE READ REPORTS.

>> THIS IS THE BIGGEST ADULT FILM EVENT OF THE YEAR.

I BELIEVE THAT IF WE CAN INVOLVE DETHKLOK IN PARTICIPATING, THEN

WE MAY HAVE A CHANCE AT TEMPTING NATHAN EXPLOSION AND TEARING HIS

RELATIONSHIP APART.

>> I FEEL THAT THIS WOULD WORK BETTER IF I WERE THERE--

AT THE PORNOGRAPHY AWARDS.

>> PERHAPS I SHOULD GO, TOO.

>> I THINK THAT I SHOULD BE THERE, TOO.

>> I WILL GO, TOO.

>> NO.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GO.

>> SO, YOU'VE BEEN CORDIALLY INVITED TO HOST AT THE UNITED

STATES PORNOGRAPHY AWARDS.

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

THERE'S GONNA BE SO MUCH KISSING!

>> NOT, UH, THE MOST DISTINGUISHED EVENT.

I ADVISE WE PASS.

MOVING ON, WE HAVE A BUNCH OF-- >> THAT.

I'M GOING.

>> YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU?

A EUNUCH?

SIGN US UP!

>> THEY'RE NOT PAYING YOU, AND YOU'D LOSE MONEY.

>> SO? THAT!

I PAY THEM FOR THIS.

I JUST WANTS TO MAKE OUT WITH THEMS BEAUTIFUL GIRLS.

>> WELL, UH, FINANCIALLY SPEAKING--

>> HEY, LISTEN, MR. NUMBERS.

UH, SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA JUST DO SOMETHING BECAUSE YOUR HEART

TELLS YOU IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

>> GOTS TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEARTS.

>> NOW SIGNS US UP.

NAKED LADIES!

OH, WOWEE!

>> IT'S UNANIMOUS.

>> NATHAN.

>> YEAH, I KNOW, I'M SORRY.

I JUST--I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT MADE YOU MAD.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MADE YOU MAD.

SEE, NOW I KNOW.

WELL, I'M NOT PERFECT.

I WILL TAKE YOU TO BED, BATH & BEYOND.

I DON'T KNOW MY SCHEDULE YET.

>> NATHAN.

>> OH, CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

BAND MEETING.

NO, YOU'RE IMPORTANT, TOO.

>> STOP YELLING AT ME!

>> NO, I'M NOT YELLING.

I AM NOT YELLING.

OK.