Metalocalypse

IS THE LATEST CELEBRITY LENDING HIS VOICE

TO THE FAMOUS BOOKS ON TAPE SERIES.

HE IS BEING PAID A REPUTED ONE BILLION DOLLARS TO RECORD

ALL OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S WORKS.

AND GET READY ALL YOU MILFs, GMILFs AND SOON-TO-BE MILFs,

DETHKLOK'S RESIDENT LOTHARIO, SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

HAS BEEN HITTING THE NIGHT CLUB SCENE LATELY

AND IS ALSO INTERESTED

IN ACQUIRING A NEW STABLE OF FLB's.

GOOD LUCK GIRLS!

COULD IT BE THE LONG AWAITED MURDERFACE SIDE PROJECT,

PLANET PISS, IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

Murderface: THIS IS REALLY GONNA HAPPEN.

SEE, THE KEY WORD HERE IS ORGANIZATION.

IT'S JUST, IT'S ALL ABOUT BEING PROFESSIONAL.

Anchor: AND FINALLY, WE'VE ALL HEARD THOSE VICIOUS RUMORS

ABOUT PRICKLES THE DRUMMER

NOT REALLY BEING AS A BIG A DRINKER

AS HE CLAIMS TO BE.

WELL, PICKLES IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

Pickles: IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT HURTS WHEN PEOPLE SAY

THINGS THAT AIN'T TRUE,

BUT YOU KNOW IN RETALIATION I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING.

I'M GOING TO DRINK MORE THAN I EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE.

Anchor: I BELIEVE HE WILL!

AND THAT'S THE DEHKLOK MINUTE!

Toki: AWW, BULL !

I GOTS LEFT OFF THE DETHKLOK MINUTE AGAIN!

DAT'S BULL !

WELL, TOKI, YOU ARE RECEIVING A DISTINGUISHED AWARD.

President: MR. TIJU WARTOOTH!

IT IS MY GREAT HONOR TO PRESENT YOU

WITH THE MOST DISTINGUISHED ARGENTINIAN AWARD.

LOS NINOS FAVORITICO!

I'S HATE KIDS.

WHOA!

TOKI WARTOOTH

HAS BECOME ALARMINGLY POPULAR WITH CHILDREN.

THIS IS SOMETHING WE ARE NOT PREPARED TO DEAL WITH.

YOU ALL KNOW OUR CHILD CONTROL EXPERT,

PROFESSOR JERRY GUSTAV MANGLEDINK.

WE MUST FEAR CHILDREN.

WE HAVE MANY SUCCESSFUL PROGRAMS IN PLACE

TO SILENCE AND CONTROL CHILDREN.

BUT I FEAR THIS, TOKI WARTOOTH.

HIS NATURAL CHILDLIKE WAYS

AND CHILDREN'S AFFINITY TOWARDS HIM

MAY BE OUR BIGGEST THREAT YET.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE SIXTIES?

YES...

YES, I DO.

WELL, THAT WAS JUST HIPPIES.

DIRTY HIPPIES WITH FLOWERS AND MUSHROOMS AND ACOUSTIC GUITARS.

CAN YOU IMAGINE A WHOLE GENERATION

OF CHILDREN RAISED ON...

METAL?

LITTLE JULLIETTE SARMANGSADANDLE.

SHE DOES NOT HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.

BUT WITH OUR FOUNDATION, SHE GETS ON LAST WISH.

AND WHAT IS THAT SWEETIE?

I WANNA MEET TOKI--

TOKI, THE UH, WISH FOR SOMETHING FOUNDATION

WANTS YOU TO BE THEIR POSTER BOY.

IT'S QUITE AN HONOR.

IT'S SICK AND HELPLESS CHILDREN.

I PASS.

I'M SORRY?

I'M NOT ASSOCIATING MYSELF WITH KIDS.

THESE ONES ARE DYING, TOKI.

OH, GOOD.

AWH, TOKI YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

YES I DO's! DEAD!

ALL YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO IS SPEND A FEW HOURS

JUST TALKING TO CHILDREN, JUST--

HOW COMES I CAN'T SIT AROUND AND DRINKS LIKE PICKLE?

HOWS COME I CAN'T SIT AROUND AND SCREWS SLUTS OR SOMETHING?

BUT, NO, YOU ARE THE CUTESY GUY!

DAT KIDS LIKE, YOU GOTTA HELPS PEOPLE GETS OVER THEIR PROBLEMS.

THAT!

YOU DOS IT!

KIDS!

WISH FOR SOMETHING FOUNDATION!

I GONNA MAKE KIDS WISH THEY WAS NEVER BORN.

I'M GONNA BE A DEMON...

WHAT LIVES IN THEIR NIGHTMARES.

RIGHT DEADY BEAR?

I'M PSYCHED!

YOU'RE READY, I'M READY, WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO,

SO LET'S GET IN THERE AND DO IT.

ALRIGHT, I'M READY TO GO, PSYCHED.

SO! YOU GOT YOUR SONGS READY?

GOT YOUR LYRICS READY? YOU ORGANIZED?

I GOT MY SONGS READY, I GOT MY LYRICS READY,

IT'S ALL READY, IT'S ALL ABOUT ORGANIZATION.

IT'S TIME TO DO IT, IT'S TIME TO DO IT.

YEAH, WE'RE READY TO GO.

JUST READY TO GO, READY TO GO.

YOU KNOW WHAT MY FEAR IS?

I JUST HOPE THIS DOESN'T GET BIGGER THAN DETHKLOK.

HUH.

THAT'D BE SOMETHING.

WELL I CAN TELL YOU THIS, THAT'S A GOOD PROBLEM TO HAVE.

HUH, I GUESS.

THAT'S A PROBLEM YOU WANT TO HAVE,

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THAT'S A PROBLEM YOU WANT TO HAVE.

LET'S UH, LET'S GO IN THERE, LET'S DO IT!

HOLD ON, HOLD ON, JUST WANT TO GATHER MYSELF,

GATHER MYSELF, GET READY.

WELL, WE'VE BEEN HERE SITTING FOR FIVE HOURS.

JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT.

OK, OK.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

GOOD. I GUESS.

GOOD. FEELING OK?

YEAH.

CAUSE YOU SOUND A LITTLE...

DUDE, I'M FINE.

LISTEN, I WANT YOU TO ENGINEER THIS SESSION

BECAUSE THESE GUYS ARE PAYING ME A LOT OF MONEY

AND I DON'T WANT TO PAY ANYONE, I WANT TO KEEP IT ALL,

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT TO ANYBODY ELSE LIKE A DUMB ENGINEER, ALRIGHT?

DUDE.

ALRIGHT, THANKS. ALRIGHT, NOW--

YEAH.

UH, MAKE SURE THE LEVELS ARE--

YEAH, THEY'RE LIGHTS ARE BLINKING RIGHT HERE.

ALRIGHT. NOW I WANT TO DO THIS IN ONE TAKE

CAUSE THIS GUY WROTE A LOT OF STUFF, GOT IT?

YEAH.

HERE WE GO.

OK. GO!

TO BE, OR NOT TO BE: THAT IS THE QUESTION

WHETHER 'TIS NOBLER IN THE MIND

TO SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS...

...MY HEART DOTH JOY THAT YET IN ALL MY LIFE I FOUND NO MAN BUT HE WAS TRUE TO ME.

DUDE, NATHAN, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME,

BUT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO PRESS RECORD.

BUT, HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS: I'M SORRY.

Aaaaaah!

GO! GO!