South Park

Hey, dudes.

Just wondering if you guys have seen me

and Tolkien's latest TikTok?

You guys made another TikTok?

I think it's really our best one yet!

Yeah, nobody really gives a shit about your TikToks, guys.

Hey, really great TikTok, guys!

Yeah, it was pretty amazing.

Well, anyway you guys gotta check it out when you get a chance!

See ya later! Yeah, see you guys!

Hey fellas! Loved that last TikTok!

Thanks, Butters!

Konnichiwa!

Sayonara!

Kochi, kochi, kochi!

Sayonara!

Konnichiwa!

Sayonara...

What the fuck is this?

Seriously, what the fuck is this?

Have you guys noticed that Kyle and Tolkien

are, like, doing everything together lately?

Yeah, they're quite the little team, aren't they?

I, uh... I'm gonna inside, guys.

I'm gonna get some homework done.

Wow. I feel really bad for Stan.

It's gotta be hard to suddenly have your best friend

always hanging with someone else.

Mrph.

I gotta see if there's some way I can help.

There's a little voice inside me

that can't stand to see my friend suffer.

Mrph rmh rmphm?

I'm gonna go be a good Christian.

Okay, just the woodwinds for this section.

Hey, Tolkien! What's goin' on?

This is the brass section.

Yeah, I know. I was just...

I was noticing that you're kind of hanging out

a lot with Kyle lately.

Is there a problem with that?

No, I think it's amazing.

It's awesome that someone like you could be okay

with someone like him,

given all the new information lately.

You know, the stuff that's come out about

how the Jews stole the Black race's identity,

that the lost tribes of Judah were actually all Africans.

You didn't hear about this?

Black people are actually the Jews

and people like Kyle have taken that from them?

Stop talking to me.

To escape persecution in World War II,

they found that Blacks were already the underclass in America,

so they had to invent a story for themselves

which they can make everyone believe...

Kyle runs Hollywood, Tolkien.

Hey, Stan.

Guess what. I have some good news for you.

What?

A little magic fairy told me

that you and Kyle are gonna get back together soon.

I don't care that Kyle is making TikToks with Tolkien.

Yes, you do.

But don't worry, Stan. It's almost Valentine's Day.

And the little angel on my shoulder

says that Kyle is gonna come running back to you any minute.

Hey, Stan.

Oh.

Hey, Kyle.

Rm!

Well, dude, you wanna sit down?

I was actually just seeing if you had a phone charger I could borrow.

Me and Tolkien are making another TikTok video

and my stupid phone died!

Oh. Yeah. Sure.

Thanks, dude!

Tolkien, I got one, dude!

The fuck is going on?

Well, um, I'm gonna head back to class, guys.

I don't get it. The little cupid is always right.

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

Why didn't Tolkien listen?

Did you tell him about the Black Hebrew tribes?

Yeah, I told him everything, Cupid Ye!

Tee hee hee!

And did you tell him how the Jews stole.

Black people's identity?

Yeah, but it didn't work, Cupid Ye.

That's okay, Eric!

Remember, being a good Christian means

helping people even when it's hard.

You're right, Cupid Ye.

Can you help make sure Tolkien hears our message?

Spreading information is like spreading love.

I'll help you get the word out, Eric!

Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee!

Wow, that's so cool, Tolkien.

Look how many likes we're getting for this one!

Hey, Kyle, you got a minute?

Yeah. What's up?

Well, there's this rumor starting

to go around the school.

Kids are saying that, like...

I don't know, that, like, you run Hollywood?

What?

I told Scott that that's just people being dumb

and he shouldn't listen to stuff like that.

But... Scott and I do have this sweet movie idea

about a dude who has guns for hands

and we have the first 20 pages written, so...

You don't really run Hollywood, right?

I'm not even going to justify that with a response.

Because repeating a derogatory slur,

even for the purpose of refuting it,

can make stupid people think it's valid!

Holy shit. Kyle runs Hollywood.

Kyle runs Hollywood, and you fucked up the pitch!

How'd I fuck up the pitch?!

You gotta tell him what the stakes are.

People who make movies, they just care about the stakes!

The guy has guns for hands!

Mr. Cartman, did you or did you not tell students at this school.

That Kyle runs Hollywood?

I think I did say that, yes.

And why would you say such an intolerant,

offensive thing like that?

Somebody runs Hollywood.

Lots of people run Hollywood!

Yes, lots of... people like Kyle.

Mr. Cartman you are on dangerous frickin ground here, buddy!

I'm sorry, why is it so offensive

to say who runs Hollywood?

People like Hollywood. Hollywood's cool.

The Jews should be honored to be in charge of it.

Hey! I am telling you right now, Eric.

The next time anyone says anything about

Kyle running Hollywood, that person.

Is gonna have two months detention.

Two months?!

Jesus, Mary mother full of grace.

You guys really take this seriously.

Please help me be the best Christian I can be.

All I want is to help people, but nobody understands.

Please, I can't do this alone.

Tee hee hee!

There you are, Cupid Ye!

Sorry, Eric, I was just busy

praising our Savior's name in the music studio!

The Principal said I can't talk about

Kyle running Hollywood anymore, Cupid Ye!

Well, of course, Eric! They're trying to silence you.

That's what they do.

Who's they?

Oh right... them.

Tee hee hee! Jews!

But Cupid Ye, I have to get to Tolkien or else

Stan is gonna be sad forever!

Okay! I'll help you help your friend however I can.

You're such a good Christian, Eric.

Thanks.

Just don't do anything too drastic, okay?

What do you mean?

I dunno know, it's just...

ever since you changed your name and got all into Jesus,

you've been acting a little bat shit crazy, Cupid Ye.

Tee hee hee! Don't worry, Eric!

I'm gonna make everything better!

Praiiise Jesus!

Tee hee hee! Tee hee hee hee!

The true Jews of Israel are your Black ancestors...

Tee hee hee...

Huh?

You think you and Kyle make TikToks together?

Kyle only cares about money.

Tee hee hee...

Mmm?

Think about it.

Are you really making TikToks together,

or is Kyle profiting off of you?

It's just like the lost tribes of Israel.

Kyle wants to take all the credit for what you doing.

Tolkien?

Oh, Jesus!

Hey, I didn't see you at the playground.

Thought we were doing that morning TikTok.

Oh yeah, sorry.

I didn't get the best sleep last night.