Batman: The Brave and the Bold

Welcome to the final moments of the event they said could never happen.

This is Jimmy Olsen, and if you're just tuning in,

gee whiz, where the heck have you been?

Let's look at the highlights of the greatest event

in the history of any sport ever played, any place, ever.

The Justice League International versus the Legion Of Doom.

The JLI took an early lead

due to heavy hitters Superman and Wonder Woman.

We just got word that Supes' first hit passed the moon, Titan.

Luthor looked like an easy strikeout, but had a surprise up his sleeve.

Joker hit a foul ball, literally.

He turned it into the tying run.

Which brings us to the bottom of the ninth.

Heroes coming up to the plate with the villains leading by three.

Should be an exciting finish.

I know it's not looking good right now.

But those stands are full of people,

kids, like little Julie Schwartz and Franky Miller from Gotham City,

who are depending on us to show that, even in baseball,

good always triumphs over evil.

So let's go out there and give it our all.

The heroes start the inning with their heavy hitters.

Merciful Minerva.

- Out. - Uh-oh.

Looks like Amazo's playing favorites for the villains.

Safe.

But the truth prevails.

Luthor's not taking any chances on the Man of Steel.

He forces him to take a stroll to first.

Robin, the boy bunter, loads the bases for the heroes.

Luthor's calling time

and I'm willing to bet he's calling his team a few things while he's at it.

Imbeciles! You couldn't catch a cold.

What we need is a pitcher, not a belly itcher.

No. What we need is magic.

Thanks to Faust's spell,

they'll have better luck swinging a wet noodle.

The game is as good as ours.

The heroes have the bases loaded with no outs.

This game is as good as theirs.

Strike one.

Strike two.

Three strikes. He's out.

Another out and what looked like a promising inning

has turned into a nail-biter.

It all comes down to Batman.

Hey, mister. I won three Little League championships with this.

It's my lucky bat.

I want you to have it.

Doesn't matter.

He's still no match for my arm.

Great Scott!

Luthor's been cheating the whole time.

Strike one.

Strike two.

He swings.

Batman's done it.

I can't believe my eyes.

JLI wins! JLI wins!

Say what you want about the Dark Knight, but today, he truly is a "bat" man.

This is Jimmy Olsen signing off.

Ladies and gentlemen, today we present a modern twist

on a true clown classic, a staple of harlequin humor.

Our unwilling participant, the Dark Knight himself,

and a surprise guest, a nosy reporter who got a little too close to her story.

I hope this doesn't dissuade you from a life of journalism, Miss Vale.

It's still a noble calling.

Without further ado, I give you that time-honored staple of comedy.

A pie in the face, the abridged version.

Disappointing.

I expected a bit more fanfare

to usher in the worldwide reign of Lex Luthor.

Hold it, Luthor.

Surrender now, Cheetah, and spare yourself another humiliating defeat.

But, Wonder Woman, darling, what fun would that be?

Hold tight, Miss Vale.

But it was foolproof. Foolproof!

I've won, Superman.

Proven myself superior. Admit it.

Have to know. How?

A perpetual energy source, Superman.

Enough to counter any degree of power, even yours.

Thanks for the info.

You've ruined everything. But I can still ruin you.

Here it comes.

The city's lead sewer pipes will take care of that.

But it was foolproof.

Foolproof!

But it was foolproof.

Foolproof!

Couldn't have done it without your help, Major Trevor.

- So are we still on? - I'm in.

- Batman? You coming? - Wouldn't miss it.

Okay, here's one from my Smallville days.

Disgusting.

It's in my palm. See?

I meant the tabletop. It's hideous.

Are these cows?

It's not the venue. It's the company.

- Double-bacon cheeseburger with fries. - Make it two.

I'll have the tuna club on whole wheat and a salad...

Make it three. And shakes all around.

You'll work it off, princess.

Have either of you given any thought to the time capsule?

Oh, right, the Superhero Memorial.

So we give them a personal item,

they bury it and dig it up again in 50 years? Why?

A message to future generations of heroes.

Did you see their suggestions?

Your tiara, my cape, Batman's Batarang?

Please. As if those things were all that defined us.

Agreed. But then, what?

To be continued, I guess. Food's here.

When I'm fighting for the American way, this is what I'm really talking about.

We need a victory. And we need it now.

Oh, face it, Lexy, the act's gone stale.

Our respective nemesi know all the punch lines.

Like kryptonite. Can't you do anything creative with it?

I don't need advice from a cut-rate Catwoman.

Crazy thought. Maybe it's time we changed dance partners, hmm?

You scratch my foe's back, I'll scratch yours.

Yes. If each of us takes on a different hero, it's a whole new game.

Advantage, us.

Dibs on the swimsuit model.

A mere mortal for a change.