The Big Bang Theory

Previously on The Big Bang Theory...

Well, there was this girl.

- What did you do? - Nothing!

Really, it was just kissing.

- All right. - So we're still getting married?

Yes.

Because we love each other.

Yes.

And it's the happiest day of our lives.

Don't push it.

I need some time

to take a step back and re-evaluate our situation.

Oh.

Bye, Sheldon.

Well, Gollum...

You're an expert on rings.

What do I do with this one?

So what package are you thinking?

Mmm, this one comes with music and flowers.

Oh, they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet.

Why would we want that?

"Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there

who don't believe they can land a short, nearsighted scientist.

Let's give them hope.

Whatever, put us on the Internet.

I always wanted a wedding with a comments section.

Hey, if you're not into this, we can do it another time.

No.

No, I want to. Look, we've put this off long enough. Let's do it.

Aw! It's exactly what you said the first time we slept together.

Oh, excuse me.

It's Sheldon. Hey.

- Leonard, have you gotten married yet? - No, why?

- Good, don't do it! - Why not?

Some important new information has come to light.

Women are the worst.

I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong.

No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.

What happened now?

Amy has ended our relationship.

- Oh, no. Seriously? - What's going on?

Amy broke up with Sheldon.

She did?

Is Penny crying?

- No. - No, of course not.

They thrive on our suffering.

Buddy, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?

Yes. If I ever talk about going out with a girl again,

roll your eyes at me like I do to you when you say dumb things.

Sheldon, okay. Just because you're going through this with Amy

doesn't mean all women are bad.

Whatever.

Hey, I just heard about you and Sheldon, are you okay?

Not really, can you come over?

Uh, actually, I'm in Vegas. Leonard and I are about to get married.

Hold on. You're getting married and you didn't invite me?

Well, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing.

Wow.

Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.

Amy, don't be like that.

Why did I just hear Amy's name?

Penny's on the phone with her.

Did she say anything about me? Never mind, I don't care.

Well, if you care, you can find out and tell me.

Just don't be shocked when you find out I don't care.

Okay, will you relax? You're not missing anything special.

Hey.

She's upset. Look, it's gonna be a great wedding.

Look at you in your little suit.

Amy's upset? Is it about me?

No, I think it's because we're eloping.

Your marriage is causing her pain? Yeah, great, I take it back.

Go ahead and do it. Yay for love.

- Hello. - Oh!

What are you doing here?

When last we spoke, you said you needed time.

Well, it's only been 11 hours.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours.

I made you watch that, you said it was an eternity.

Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know.

Very well.

You seem to be headed somewhere.

May I walk with you?

Sure.

Boy am I glad we're going out again.

We're not back together.

Why? Well, is there someone else?

Just couldn't wait to put that first notch on your bedpost, could you?

If you must know, I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's to watch the wedding.

And who's this guy you're taking?

There's no guy!

Oh, you're going to a wedding alone? That's sad.

I'm not gonna be alone, I'll be with my friends.

Your friends. Well, I think you mean my friends.

And why wasn't I invited to this?

Maybe because the two of us being there would make them feel awkward.

We make everyone feel awkward. That's our thing!

They're running a little behind. Should be pretty soon.

Okay.

Hey, if you're hungry there's a breakfast buffet at the strip club next door.

Thanks, but I don't like glitter on my scrambled eggs.

I don't think the strippers prepare the meal, but okay.

Look, it's not how I pictured it, either, but I'm still glad we're doing it.

- Me, too. - You sure?

- Yes. - And you promise you're okay

with everything from the car?

Oh, my God, would you stop bringing it up?

You're right. I'm sorry.

We have the rest of our lives to dredge up stuff from the past and fight about it.

So what do you think? Should we run next door and grab a bite?

Well, what if they call our names?

Don't worry, they gave me this vibrating coaster.

Oh, and the fairytale continues.

- Thank you for doing this. - Our pleasure.

You feeling okay?

We were together for so long, I honestly don't know what I'm feeling.

Well, that's understandable. You forgot. It's called "happy".

- Howard. - I'm not saying anything bad.

Just that she was in love with her captor and somehow managed to escape

from his dark and crazy dungeon.

I know what you're going through, my last breakup was pretty tough.

Oh. What was her name?

Hey, it's a true story. I don't need the third degree!

For God's sake. Sheldon, what are you doing?

I didn't want to come in. I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable.

So I'll just stay out here and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom.

- Howard, do something. - I'm on it.

Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better.

I see. And is that why everybody was invited but me?

They didn't invite everybody but you.

Bernadette invited me and Stuart lives here.

Who wants hot cinnamon rolls?

So, when you hear the music, that's your cue. Any questions?

The package we paid for said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals?

- Where are the rose petals? We're out.

You know what, it's fine.

We can use the potpourri from the bathroom.

Okay.

- Really, we're good. - Yep, just wanna get married.

- Yeah. - Great, I'll see you two up there.

- This is it. - I know.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Was that a yes or no on the potpourri?

- No thank you. - We're good.

Raj, you're probably wondering why

Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another.

Didn't even crack the top ten.

Well, you should know she recently broke up with me.

I said I needed time to think.

I'm sure you guys will figure something out.

You hear that? Raj is devastated.

Sheldon, shh, the wedding's starting.

I see what's happening. Sides are forming.

Well, if Bernadette's on Amy's team, I pick Howard.

- I'm not taking sides. - Fine, I guess I'm stuck with Raj.

- Really? - At least you got picked.

Before I go any further, have either of you prepared your own vows?

Yes. PENNY: No.

- You wrote vows? - Yeah.

I don't have any, you're kind of making me look bad.

It's okay, I don't have to say them.

No, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry. We got this.

Penny.

"We are made of particles that have existed

"since the moment the universe began."

"I like to think those atoms traveled"

"14 billion years through time and space to create us"

"so that we could be together and make each other whole."

Wow.

Penny?

Right, um, okay.

Leonard. Um...

You're not only the love of my life, I mean, you're my best friend.

And...