The Big Bang Theory

Problem?

This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten.

It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker.

Amusing. A play on the two meanings of "cobbler."

Hey, guys. Guess who I found at LAX?

My baby sister Priya.

Excuse me, I object.

You propose a guessing game,

yet you don't give me enough time to guess.

For the record, I was going to say:

"Your sister Priya."

Oh, Sheldon. You haven't changed a bit, have you?

Why would I change?

The hope has been that

you'd eventually bend to public opinion.

So, Priya, what brings you back to L.A.?

I have a one-day layover on my way to Toronto.

Corporate merger.

Can you believe it?

Little Priya's one of the lead attorneys

for the biggest car company in India.

Given that when we met her, she was finishing law school

and planning an internship at a large Indian car company,

it's actually extremely plausible.

And your poll numbers just keep dropping.

I want to catch up with all of you,

but first I really must visit the loo.

I'm going, too; I'll show you where it is.

All right, this goes without saying,

but I'm just going to say it anyway.

Hands off my sister.

Why would I touch her? She's covered with airplane germs.

I'm so not talking to you. I'm talking to him.

Hey. I've got a girlfriend now. Oh, please.

My sister's much hotter

than your girlfriend, and you know it.

Let's just agree they're both hot.

But dude, that's my sister you're talking about!

Okay, forget who's hotter.

The first time Priya came to L.A., Leonard and I made a pact

out of respect to our friendship and to you

that neither of us would hit on her.

Did you pinky-swear?

Yes.

Okay, then.

Cobbler. I'm still laughing.

It's really nice to see you again, Leonard.

Yeah. It's good to see you, too.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Okay.

So you got any special plans with your sister?

Oh, not really. Just hang out.

I always tell people, "If you have only one day

in Los Angeles, make it a train day."

Train day?

The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City,

a hotdog stand in a converted railroad dining car.

Next stop, Travel Town,

an outdoor museum featuring 43 railroad engines,

cars, and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s.

And, finally, we're off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood,

for dinner at--that's right-- the Hollywood Carney's,

a hotdog stand in a different converted railroad dining car.

I don't think we're going to do that.

Well, then apparently you hate fun.

Priya's not back yet?

Well, I guess that's not unusual.

Women, men, the whole sitting-standing deal.

So what are we talking about?

Uh, my plans with Priya.

He rejected Train Day.

Did you make it clear that it's two different train cars

turned into hotdog stands?

Abundantly.

I guess he just hates fun.

That's what I said!

Okay, so... what's new with you guys?

I have a girlfriend now.

Hey, good for you!

Yeah, I just want to put it out there

in case I inadvertently

squirt any pheromones in your direction.

Happy?

So, Priya, what are your plans while you're here?

I don't know. I just have the one day.

Do you like trains?

Not particularly.

You might as well just wait at the airport for your flight.

"You are in a forest.

"There is quicksand to the west,

a path leads to the east."

Go east.

"An iron gate blocks your way."

Open gate.

"It's locked."

Hmm.

Well, so much for that.

It's getting pretty late. How come you're still up?

I found an emulator online that lets you play classic text-based

computer games from the 1980s.

That's pretty cool.

Oh, yes. It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip:

imagination.

You've really got to get out more.

Go north.

"You can't go that way."

Go west.

"A troll blocks your passage."

Okay. Fasten your seatbelts.

Kill troll.

"With what?"

With sword.

"You don't have the sword."

Good golly, it's as if it's actually happening to me.

Raj finally went to bed.

Sheldon's still up.

You said he goes to bed at 9:00.

Yeah, he does, but he got caught up in a computer game and...

Hit troll with axe!

Hit troll with axe!

Hit troll with axe!

My, this is one tough troll.

Can't you get rid of him?

If the past is any indication, no.

Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand!

The axe is dragging me down!

Drop axe!

Drop axe, brilliant!

Give me a minute.

Sheldon.

Hold on.

Trying to figure out

how to get the bucket,

so I can carry the mud past the dragon.

Sheldon, you need to work in the morning.

I know!

Well, then bed, mister!

Five more minutes!

Really?

You're going to risk getting sleepy in the middle of your

thermodynamic fluctuations seminar?

You know what happens when you yawn in public.

Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula.

You don't want that, do you?

No.

But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.

Who was at the door?

Uh, building manager.

They have to fix a pipe,

so the water'll be off tomorrow from noon to 2:00.

That's unacceptable.

We're supposed to be given written notice.

Well, no, it doesn't matter-- we'll be at work.

What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt,

and have to come home to change,

only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak?

Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!

I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night!

We're going to have to be very quiet.

I know how to get the bucket!

I can turn the axe around

and use the handle to reach it.

Let's see.

Go north.

"You are in a forest."

Go north.

"You are in a forest."

Go north.

"You are in a forest." Oh dear, I believe I'm lost.

Well, I'll just have to get a fresh start tomorrow.

No, no, no! You just took a wrong turn.

You just need to map it out.

Come on, I'll help you.

So you stopped at the stream,

and you turned north three times?

Yes.

You're right. You're lost. Good luck.

Oh!

Leonard. Wake up.

Huh? Wh-- Sorry.

For what?

I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's just--

it's my go-to response.

It's 6:00. I have to get back to Raj's

before he wakes up and realizes I'm gone.

Oh. Right. Sure.

I wish you could stay in L.A. a while longer.

Mmm, me, too.

You know, I was thinking:

There are some great research facilities in India.

Where are you going with this, Leonard?

Well, I'm just saying, you know, I don't have any real ties here,

so if I were to move to New Delhi, we could, you know--

go out.

Leonard, didn't we have this conversation five years ago?

Well, yes, but...

things have changed.

You know, you're older, I'm older--