The Big Bang Theory

Water Demon.

Ice Dragon.

Lesser Warlord of Ka'a.

Not so fast.

Infinite Sheldon.

Infinite Sheldon?

Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards

and does not violate the rule against homemade cards

because I made it at work.

Do you understand why people don't want to play with you?

No...

although it's a question I've been pondering since preschool.

Hey.

Hey, your copy of Science magazine was in my mailbox.

- Oh, thanks. - Mm-hmm.

Check it out-- all about planets this month.

That's an atom.

Agree to disagree.

That's what I love about science--

there's no one right answer.

So...

you and Zack again, huh?

Yeah, yeah, me and Zack again.

Were we here earlier?

Okay, we should, we should go.

Ah, not yet.

I want to talk science with the science dudes.

Oh, and the science dudes want to talk science with you.

What do you want to talk about--

rocks, dinosaurs, our friend the beaver?

You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel.

Turns out that if you kill a starfish,

it'll just come back to life.

Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts?

Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

No, I'm almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel.

It was a great show.

They also said dolphins might be smarter than people.

They might be smarter than some people.

Maybe we can do an experiment to find out.

That's easy enough.

We'd need a large tank of water, a hoop to jump through,

and a bucket of whatever bite-sized treats

you find tasty.

I don't get it.

A dolphin might.

Oh, I see.

You guys are inferring that I'm stupid.

That's not correct.

We were implying it.

You then inferred it.

Let's go.

You know, for a group of guys

who claim they spent most of their lives being bullied,

you can be real jerks.

Shame on all of you.

What the hell did I do?

You laughed.

Do you think Penny's right?

Were we bullying Zack?

No,

I know bullying.

He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.

And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.

That happened to you?

First day of cricket camp.

They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.

I don't know, I think we might owe the guy an apology.

So go apologize. Why me?

You started it, we just piled on.

What would I even say?

Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid.

Have a Milk Dud.

A Milk Dud? Yeah,

Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name

and remarkably mild flavor,

are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.

I got a better idea.

We're all responsible.

I say we all go.

Come on, who's with me?

Free comic books to anyone who comes with me.

I might get punched. You really want to miss that?

Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.

You're embarrassing yourself.

Penny.

What? Yeah,

we came to talk to Zack. Hey, Zack.

What do you want?

Listen,

the stuff we were saying before--

we were just kidding around.

No, you weren't.

You were making fun of me.

Come on, that's what we do.

We give each other a hard time.

Hey, Sheldon,

you look like a praying mantis.

That's very hurtful.

See?

I don't know, it still wasn't very nice.

Milk Dud?

Oh, I love Milk Duds.

Okay, we're cool.

Junior Mints.

You guys want to come in and have a beer?

Uh, we're on our way to the comic book store.

Leonard's buying.

Really?

I haven't been to a comic book store

in literally a million years.

Literally?

Literally a million years?

Don't.

You want to go with 'em? No.

Okay, see you later. Wait,

w-w-w-wait, you're ditching me to go look at comic books?

Are you mad at me?

I'm not happy.

Milk Dud?

Wow, this place is awesome.

Where do they keep the Archies?

In the bedrooms of ten-year- old girls, where they belong.

Oh, no, you're thinking old-school Archie.

It's much more sophisticated now.

Like, there's two universes,

and Archie's married to Betty in one

and Veronica in the other.

Midge is even breaking up with Moose.

No.

About time, right?

Hey.

Hey. You guys finally chip in for a bodyguard?

Uh, no. Oh, this is Zack.

He's a friend of ours.

Zack, this is Stuart.

He owns the store.

Wow, lucky you.

Yeah, I work 70 hours a week

and average $1.65 an hour.

Sweet.

Is that sarcasm?

No, it's an indictment of the American education system.

The Archies are over here.

Yippee.

So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?

Of course.

We're coming as the Justice League of America.

Switching it up from last year

when we came as the Justice League of America.

To that point,

it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity

to finally snare Best Group Costume

if we shore up our weak link,

which is clearly Leonard as Superman.

Hey, I got new boots this year.

Guaranteed to add three inches.

That's sad.

Let's ask ourselves:

Is there anyone we know

who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?

Than Leonard in high-heeled boots?

Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?

I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there

moving his lips as he enjoys

the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.

Zack?

He is the only person we know with actual muscles.

You can't replace me with Zack.

Why not? Penny did it.

Yeah, she seems happier.

Why wouldn't we be?

Score.

I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica,

and a Jughead.

All set for my weekend number twos.

Congratulations.

Zack, how would you like to be Superman?

I don't know, sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman,

I want to be Green Lantern.

But I'm Green Lantern.

You can be Aquaman.

I don't want to be Aquaman.

He sucks.

He sucks underwater.

He sucks fish pee.

Excuse me,

I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers

to request the fish do their business elsewhere.

Hey, babe.

I'm still mad at you.

Well, you won't be

when you hear the great news.

What great news?

We're going to a costume party

at the comic book store on New Year's Eve,

and you get to be Wonder Woman.

Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth.

Invisible plane sold separately.