House

Telling you, Will, you got a real winner here.

She's just gonna love it.

Stacy, box her up.

Oh. Just the box.

I'm sure it's prettier than the paper.

One tiny rock.

So many other cool things I could have bought for myself.

Sam, Stacy, it's been a pleasure being ripped off by you.

Such a nice boy.

Too bad he's a handicap.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

You all right, man? Take it easy, man!

It's okay. It's okay.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Kid's a blind diabetic.

He's hyperglycemic hyperosmolar.

Which is what we thought until his blood tests showed

a controlled sugar level and no ketones.

It could be caused by drug abuse.

His tox screens were clean.

You lying sack of crap.

I have them right in front of me.

Not you.

This time.

My former BFF.

He's S-M-I-T-B-A-W-A.

Stabbing me in the back as we speak.

Where exactly are you?

If anyone should happen to ask,

I'm in an out-of-state

medical conference until further notice.

Why would any--

and...Don't really care.

Auditory hallucinations

and disorientation could be signs of schizophrenia.

They did a psych consult.

Mental status is normal.

Seizure, noise-induced epilepsy--

the sound of rush hour traffic could have set it off.

Run an E.E.G.

Blast his brain with harmonics to find out.

Also, if anyone should further happen to ask,

I spent the whole last year in Africa

with Doctors Without Boundaries.

Who are you hiding from?

Evil.

Where's House?

Uh, he's at an out-of-state medical conference.

In Baltimore.

I think.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Blythe, his mother.

Do you want me to pick up the braille writer

and laptop from your apartment?

I don't plan on being here that long.

I didn't eat lunch yesterday.

I probably just fainted.

Or had an epileptic seizure.

Which is only one possibility.

I'm Doctor Chase.

Uh, we'd like to discuss your case with you privately.

I'm his girlfriend. Is it all right

if I stay for this? Melissa can stay.

And I've never had a seizure before in my life.

They can be mild.

Like a loss of concentration

or a muscle tremor.

A lot of times a family member notices before the patient does.

I'm Doctor Park, by the way.

I'm 5'2", Asian, and I'm totally cool with it

if you wanna feel my face.

Blind people only do that in movies.

But you sound nice, so if you want me to...

Her point was, you may not have realized

you were having a seizure, that maybe your girlfriend has?

No.

But I--I haven't seen him for the last five months.

We were on a break.

Like Rachel and Ross on Friends.

Never seen the show myself, but I hear it's good.

That joke usually kills my blind friends.

Will, this is serious.

No, it's not.

Since I don't have epilepsy.

I have to pay attention to every signal

my body sends or receives.

Or I end up taking a dirt nap.

You don't think I'd know if I was having seizures?

It's probably just low blood sugar.

If that's true, then you shouldn't have

a problem passing our test.

How is he, James, really?

He's better than I've seen him in a long time.

Is he happy?

Uh...

It's okay.

He's always been a complicated child.

Were you in the hospital recently?

Oh, nothing serious.

I just had a few moles removed yesterday

and forgot I even had it on.

Look, if Greg happens to get back early from the conference,

I'm staying at a hotel in town for the next three days.

I would like him to call me.

I will pass it on.

Thank you.

Um, do you think that they would mind

if I got a refill for the road?

Not at all. Good.

Not seeing any seizure activity

in response to low frequency sounds.

I'm starting him on mid-range.

Have you seen his girlfriend?

Extremely hot.

Blind people can't have attractive girlfriends?

Not my point.

He actually convinced her to go for

the whole relationship break thing.

How do you know it wasn't her idea?

Because she's back with him.

Women suggest a break when they wanna break up.

Men do it because they wanna have sex

with other women before they settle down.

They're a little young to get married, don't you think?

I was their age when I did.

I see your point.

He's seizing.

Sound frequency's at 300 hertz.

It's not a seizure.

He's not spiking on his E.E.G.

He's not moving air.

I I think he's choking on something.

Blood.

I don't see any blockage.

Help me move him.

Just relax and breathe.

What--what are these?

Three teeth detached from his jawbone

and lodged in his throat.

He almost choked to death on them.

Environmental?

Could be heavy metal poisoning

or radiation exposure.

Then he wouldn't be the only one.

He's an accountant who works

on the same floor with 50 other people.

Maybe his girlfriend poisoned him.

House usually thinks that's a good guess.

And she's gotta be pissed off and have low self-esteem.

Why else would she

give him a free pass to pork other women?

Because he's handicapped.

Women feel sorry for us.

This cane is tail bait.

Where are you now?

Expect an actual answer this time?

Hi, guys.

Was wondering if House's

mother left yet.

He won't let me go to a hos--

It's not environmental, it's periodontitis.

An oral infection doesn't explain his disorientation

and auditory hallucinations.

They're laughing because they know

diabetes exacerbates the condition.

It could progress to a systemic disease.

The bacteria spread and affect other organs.

Like his brain.

Start him on broad spectrum antibiotics

and book him an appointment with a periodontist.

He has fake children now, too?

You think I'm not good enough for your mother.

Not in front of the kids, Honey.

Hey, add a couple of flies, toss in a dead goat or two,

we might have a winner.

She gone?

Yeah.

We really need to talk.

Okay.

Crayons down.

Line up if you wanna get paid.

It's the only time I ever successfully lie to my mom;

is through the elaborate preparations

and props.

Hey, hey, hey.

I said no Transformers, Slick.

Stay here until the coast is clear.

Fine.

But you sleep on couch tonight.

You sleeping with her now?

Just in case an I.N.S. guy comes in through the window.

Oh.

Yeah, she didn't buy it either.

You need to talk to your mother.

When I'm ready.

Still need to get a fake passport,

doctored photos, maybe a case of Aids.

She's sick, House.

Did she say that?