House

Given goodish behavior

and eight of 12 months time served,

we have the discretion to grant parole Friday the 10th,

five days from now.

Are you sorry about what you did?

Yes.

Yes?

That's the correct answer, isn't it?

Are you trying to annoy us?

No. I'm just trying to give you the answers you need to cover your asses,

fill out your forms and let me out of here.

We need you to show us remorse.

Is that how our system works?

Release the best actors?

I shudder to think what that world would be like.

You drove your car into your ex-girlfriend's house

and then fled the country for three months.

I knew that her daughter was at grandma's, like every Friday.

And I saw everyone else move into the living room...

They could have moved back.

Which I would have noticed since I was driving right towards them.

Shut up.

We got an order to reduce overcrowding.

But let me be clear.

You mouth off to one guard,

we catch you with a single cafeteria tray in your cell,

you break any rules I don't even remember,

you can park your ass here for four more months.

So forget being sorry. Can you stay out of trouble for five days?

Yes.

Gather up for meds.

Asofa.

Yeah.

Why you keep helping him out?

Yeah. Why would I wanna make sure

that my homicidal cell mate is taking the right anti-psychotics?

House.

Mendelson.

He's on 80 milligrams of Propranolol, this is 40.

You're right. Sorry.

No worries. I like my nurses naughty.

You know, I'm starting to think, Mendelson,

you just really like the taste of my spit.

Hey, House, check out our new brand.

You've really got a thing for swastikas, Mendelson.

Like an ironic thing?

It's a German name.

So is House, and I'm Jewish.

!

Knight to king's bishop three.

Queen to king's bishop seven.

Hey. You're House, right?

I got these weird pains in my elbows and in my knees.

You know what's weirder is how the clinic is a large room,

and you somehow confused me with it.

Well, to be fair, I am large.

Hi, Rollo.

I realize this is probably a rhetorical question.

Why are you stealing my stuff?

Hey, House. I heard you're on short time.

You won't need this.

You heard about my parole.

But not about my violent reactions when people steal my tuna.

- Put it back. - Nuh-uh.

Really?

You're stepping to a guy who outweighs you by 50 pounds

and who is carrying a cane which, while prison-approved,

will still cause some issues if inserted into your colon.

Yeah, like you losing your parole.

And you ain't gonna rat me out neither, 'cause you don't wanna get

a snitch jacket and wind up shanked in the showers.

So you're just gonna let me walk out of here.

You wanna get back at these guys,

get out alive on Friday.

Okay? Now, go to work, House.

- And that was checkmate, right? - Yep.

I heard you're on that short time, House.

If you like tuna, you're a little late.

I want your stereo and your headphones.

It can wait till you finish your work.

Drop it off in my cell.

99.9. I'm gonna start him on ceftriaxone.

Good catch. I might have missed that.

It's not gonorrhea.

I didn't say it was.

Not out loud. You're just figuring a joint pain

plus fever plus a low lifestyle

equals a ceftriaxone prescription.

So you saying I got the clap?

I've only been in here one week, my girlfriend's clean.

I ain't got a girlfriend in here.

How do you know about ceftriaxone?

House used to be a doctor.

Not going back.

And that look of shock is elitist and offensive.

Doctors can be degenerates. This is America.

There's subtle eyebrow loss.

It's lupus.

Well, there's no discoid or malar rash on his face.

Which would be dispositive if he was just a giant head.

He's got a point, but I'll let you make the call.

No, there's no reason to search for a bodily rash

since lupus doesn't usually present that way.

"Usually"?

Well, I guess that's good enough for prison work.

You don't write people up for mouthing off, do you?

Not usually.

You don't want to mess with Stamper.

He didn't get that name because he's a fan of Santa's reindeer.

You think one of Santa's reindeer was called Stamper?

You're missing my point.

I'm not gonna listen to a guy who can't name the reindeer.

You saw what happened in the yard with Diaz.

He barely said a couple of words and set the boy off.

Oh, no.

I know that look.

- Hey, Stamper. - Where's my stereo?

I brought it to your cell. It ain't there.

I was just getting to that part.

Rollo followed me in and took it.

- No way Rollo diss me like that. - Way.

I don't want to start any rumors, but...

But what?

He was all, "I can take Stamper,"

and I was all, "How come?"

And he was all, "'Cause of how Diaz kicked his ass last month."

In fact, he actually called you "Stompee," with an "E."

I think his gist was...

You took my stereo?

Get out of my house, Stamper, I ain't got no stereo.

What's this, then?

What? I didn't put that there!

You gonna lie to my face, you lying son of a bitch!

What? I didn't do anything!

Next time I will take your stereo!

That's enough!

Ow!

That was stupid.

Is that like a synonym for "clever"?

Time they get out of solitary,

I'll be teaching physics at the University of Fiji.

You have four days left.

How many more tricks do you got?

Don't.

Another pet?

This is gonna end badly. Again.

Remember, we talked about this?

Or at least I talked and you stared at me eerily?

I think it was eerily. Eerily felt like the best-case scenario.

Hey.

Take off your shirt so I can find the rash.

Now you wanna help me?

'Cause that doctor didn't believe you?

Well, if you could think of a better way

to prove that she's an idiot, I'm all ears.

Now, let's get this over with.

Yeah.

That's Nicole.

She lives at her mom's now, on account that she lost her job.

Her mom hates me,

so she can't visit, she ain't accepting my calls.

That's what happens when you date a 12-year-old.

You don't believe me?

Belief implies a level of giving a crap that I'm never gonna achieve.

Pull down your pants.

Hey.

It's not that I was trying to prove you're an idiot or anything,

but lupus boy and I were at the beach this morning,

and I noticed a rash on his left thigh.

I checked you out.

You were a pretty big deal.

What went wrong?

Something very obvious and very boring.

Drug related?

Forging prescriptions?

You're good.

Just like lupus boy will be, when you start him on prednisone.

Name should have been a giveaway. I'll send him up.

Why are you so sure I'm gonna do what you say?

Because you're a smart, old money trust-fund girl who took this job

because your liberal ideology makes you want to make a difference,

but you're already getting bored, and this is interesting.

Why would you say any of that?

Your shoes.

A different, expensive pair every day, but never leather.

Which means you're both rich and liberal.

Antique locket that's unpolished gold, not some hipster thing.

It's a family heirloom, which means old money.

Osler scarf, only on Fridays,

which means you did your residency at Hopkins.

Which means you're smarter than our interactions would so far indicate.

And your eyes.

The only time you haven't looked bored

in the three months since you've been here

is when we've been discussing this diagnosis.

So, yeah, you'll treat him for lupus.

House.

He wants you.

Parole?

You didn't tell me.