How I Met Your Mother

Well, got another one.

Oh, boy.

What's in the box?

What's in the box?

What's in the box?!

What's in the box?!

Right?

Brad pitt? Seven?

Nothing?

Yeah, I'm the jerk.

What's in the box?

Well, ever since marshall and lily got their own place,

His mom keeps sending them boxes

Of his old stuff she's trying to get rid of.

Thanks, mom.

You really nailed it this time.

I really needed he-man's right arm

And this old book of mad libs.

"fart went to the fart to fart fartly."

That's nice.

That's good stuff.

That's good.

Thanks, mom.

Hello.

Hello?

Ted mosby? - Yeah.

The window is open.

The what?

The window is open.

The window is open.

What are you waiting for?

I... - Run, ted, run!

Lily, the window is open.

Make a hole, people.

Run, ted, run!

Ted? - Hey.

Hey. - Maggie.

I was just, um,

You know...

How are you?

Um, I'm fine, I guess.

Actually, no, I'm not fine.

I just broke up with my boyfriend.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

No, it's...

You want to hang out tonight?

Sure.

It was so fun. You guys liked it. - It was the most...

Please tell me you got in the window.

I got in the window.

Yes! - what is going on?

What is the window?

You know how everyone has that guy

Or girl who, no matter what happens,

You always remember them being the perfect one for you?

My chaps.

Lily.

That girl right over there.

Well, that girl for me was

and still is-- maggie wilks.

We all went to college together.

She was awesome.

Everybody loved her.

I think I know what we're dealing with here.

Tell me when to stop.

It wasn't that maggie was hot.

She was...

She was the ultimate girl next door.

She was the ultimate girl next door.

Still is.

I mean, every guy who meets maggie

Falls madly in love with her.

And that's the problem.

Since I've known her, she's only been single

For, like, three brief windows of opportunity.

When she moved here and broke up

With her college boyfriend, I waited a month.

You know, so I wouldn't be the rebound guy.

Well, the rebound guy lasted two years.

After they broke up, I only waited a week.

I was still too late.

She dated that guy for three years.

The next time, I wasn't messing around.

I was at her door

Not one hour after they broke up.

The only thing she did

Between becoming single

And the moment I got there

Was go downstairs and check her mail.

I was still too late.

And she dated that guy for four years.

I wasn't going to let this happen again,

So I begged her neighbor, mrs. Douglas,

To call me the second she and david broke up.

And now, a very single

And available maggie wilks

Is on her way to this very spot.

I sent a cab with a female driver,

so she'd have no other interaction with a man

until she got to me.

Where she will still have no interaction with a man.

What up?

I feel good tonight.

Tonight's going to be good.

Oh, hell, yeah!

It's my overalls.

I wore these babies all throughout high school.

These were my jam.

God, you really were a virgin

Before you met lily, weren't you?

Well, that's unnecessary.

Oh, she's right, baby.

If... If you had worn these things in college,

Even I wouldn't have slept with you.

And, if you recall, I was good to go.

No one, I mean no one.

Could get laid wearing these.

Challenge accepted.

I, barney stinson,

Being of sound mind and amazing body,

Will wear these overalls until I have sex with a woman.

I actually dated that guy.

Okay. Quick game plan.

Maggie shows up, couple minutes of hugs and hi's,

And then everybody's out of here.

This is my one shot.

I am not gonna screw this up.

Who'd you get to cover your class tonight?

Crap! - oh, my god!

Oh, my goodness.

Hey, stranger. - Hey.

Maggie, this is my roommate, robin. - Hey.

Hey. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.

Um, I totally forgot, I have to teach a class tonight.

Hey! want to come with me

And check out a real live architecture class?

Ooh. Not even a little bit.

Uh, you know, I'll just hang here with marshall.

It'll be fun. - Fantastic.

Okay. Well, have a seat.

Relax. Yeah.

Yeah, this is casual.

This is all very, very, very casual.

Listen to me. You want me to find the perfect girl

So we can all grow old together?

That is her.

Do not let any guy near her, okay?

That means no waiter takes her order,

No busboy clears her table.

If she bursts into flames,

I want a fire woman putting her out.

I don't think 911 takes requests.

Damn it, marshall!

Whatever you have to do,

Keep maggie wilks single until I get back.

I left my tab open.

Don't abuse it.

Target secure?

Target secure.

Oh, my gosh. How weird.

We all walked out of the bathroom at the same time.

Well, let's all walk back to the booth together.

Oh, my. Look at this-- the table where we are sitting.

Back off!

Okay, um, not that I care about this challenge,

But it's cheating to wear overalls over a suit.

No, it's not.

They're not called over t-shirts, robin.

They're not called over shirtless fat guys

Who used to come fix my mom's car

And then hang out with her upstairs for a little while.

No. They're called overalls, okay?

And I can wear them over whatever I want.

He's not saying hello

He's just telling you what he feeds his horses.

Oh, man, I can sit here

and make you-look-like-a-farmer jokes All night.

Challenge accepted.

Good evening.

Tonight, we're gonna have a nice, quick class on bridges.

There are six types of bridges.

Beam, cantilever, arch, suspension, and two others.

You got land on both sides, water in the middle.

See you all next week.

Hey, we get you for the whole hour.

Oh, come on. I mean, who really wants to sit here

And listen to me yap about bridges for an hour?

Really?

I just thought about how awesome ted is again.

This is a weird drinking game.

Can I buy you a drink?

He's got a big brown jug with three x's on it.

What have I done?

One very important thing to keep in mind

When designing a bridge...

Maggie?

Oh, no.

I mean, yes.

Yes, when you are designing a bridge, always remenber

Make adjustments... ...Go get it energized.