Kuzu no Honkai (Scum's Wish / クズの本懐)

I've been on a date just once.

It was in junior high.

I dressed up

and went out with a boy.

That was all.

I ate a crepe in Harajuku.

It's what everyone does.

But if a person next to me was "him"

then it would've meant the world.

I'm sure it really wasn't a date

since "he" was all I could think about.

It was like we were playing pretend.

I can't even remember the name of the boy I went on a date with.

I'm sorry.

It was awful of me.

Ah, how elegant.

You're up early, Noriko.

Doesn't your summer vacation start today?

No! Please don't ruin this!

What? How am I ruining it?

You're ruining the elegant mood!

You are such a dedicated child.

All of your accessories and clothes seem like so much work.

So what? I'm doing this all for myself!

Just leave me alone!

Hey.

I want breakfast too!

That's right.

Today is a very important day for me.

I want to look the prettiest ever in my life.

That's partly for him,

but it's mostly for myself.

Not for anyone else.

I want to do it for myself.

That's how everyone should be.

Where do you wanna go?

Nobody should find replacements

for the important people in their lives.

Lots of Love

I want to treasure the most What is most precious

But even something so simple Is the one thing I can't do

"If destiny is real Then you are the person I'm destined to be with"

Those are the words I can't say Because I'm scared it will destroy what we have

Even when you're near, you feel so far

This feeling that comes and goes

"Give up" "Don't give up"

The petals I pick are never-ending

The treasure box remains locked

Embracing the sparkling feelings

Hiding the faintly colored fragments in my sighs

If our eyes meet Please, don't look away

See through this lie I've locked away

I don't know how much more I can take

So please don't say anything yet

It hurts

I love you so much it's scary

Huh?

Are your ears pierced, Hanabi?

What? No, these are fake.

Why aren't they pierced?

I'm scared of the pain.

That turned me on.

What are you talking about?

What are you looking at?

Hey, don't look!

Stop it! Don't!

Just kidding, I didn't look.

Aren't you forward?

Ow!

I said I was sorry! I can make it up to you at the hotel.

No.

Then we can go to a hotel as a reward.

Reward for what?! I'm not going!

Ugh, he messes with my head.

Come on. Hotel.

Ugh!

Is that all you think about?!

Is your head just filled with sex?!

Pretty much.

I mean, I'm a man. Is that wrong?

-That's not a reason-- -It is.

Don't underestimate the sex drive.

I just want to...

And then...

If you tease me too much, I'll...

Hello?

You said we could take it slow.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Sorry. I gotta go.

Who was that?

A girl who'll let me do her.

See ya.

-Hold on! -Hold on!

You're stretching it out.

Sorry!

Are you sure?

It's the movie I want to watch.

You might think it's boring.

You want to see it, don't you? Come on, let's go.

I want to hold his hand.

But for now...

-Wait. -Okay, okay.

You'll turn and look at me.

That's all I need.

I am truly happy.

-There's nobody here. -You're right.

What am I going to do? I did want to see this.

But I can't pay attention at all.

Because it's really like Mugi and I are all alone.

I didn't know a movie theater could bring us so close.

I've loved you for all my life.

I never knew how wonderful it is to be in love.

Then what about a love that never happens?

Is it just misery?

I love you enough that I can live with that.

That's not true.

Even if it never blossoms, love is...

That's a lie.

If you don't get a happy ending,

then I don't want it.

That was pretty good.

Really? Oh, thank goodness.

Thank goodness?

I mean...

I would've felt bad if you thought it was boring because I picked it.

If it was boring, then it'd be the movie's fault.

It's not something you should worry about.

I...

I love him.

Mugi.

I wonder how he felt about what I did.

Mugi.

Hey, Mugi.

Apparently if you go to sleep holding hands,

you'll both have the same dream.

I want to tell him that.

But I can't.

It's as if I am in a dream right now.

Moca.

I'm hungry. Let's get some food.

Thank goodness.

I'm still dreaming.

Okay.

Why did I stop him that day?

Hold on!

What?

You'll let me do you?

No, um...

See you then.

I chased after him so pathetically.

But it didn't work.

In the end, he just left.

All that I'm left with is my stubborn pride.

That's all.

I didn't get him to fall in love with me.

Only lust.

But I was fine with that.

Because I can't even tell the difference between the two.

I want to be obsessed over.

I want their desires.

And I won't give them anything.

I won't let them take anything from me. It can't be equal.

Please, someone...

I don't care who.

I want you to...

I want you to think I'm worth something.

I am just realizing it.

When did I start becoming such a "woman"?

At first I just wanted to be with the person I loved.

Why, God?

Why does unrequited love feel so empty?

Mugi. I want to see you. Let's meet.

"Hanabi"

Is that your phone?

Why don't you answer it.

Oh... Uh, no, that's all right.

You don't need to hold back on my account.

I realize that it's not enough.

Smile.

I had fun today, didn't I?

Aren't I satisfied?

So I have to smile.

Go on.

It tastes good, doesn't it?

Because as soon as you realize it's a dream,

that's all it'll be.

It's still muggy at night.

Thanks for staying out so late.

That was fun, Mugi.

Yeah?

I'm glad I realized it halfway through.

That's right. If it's not going to happen anyway,

then I just need to give them good memories.

I can make the perfect dream

and just play it back in my mind over and over again.

On and on forever, just for me.

Hey, Moca!

What is it?

I mean, you haven't even looked at me at all for a while now.