American Horror Story

Fini. How much do you love?

Am I the first one to get this cut?

Because I'm working on becoming an Instagram influencer,

and I refuse to show my full ass crack,

so my hairstyle has to be on point.

Who cares how many followers you have? You're a billionaire.

That's my father's money.

I need to make something of myself.

You did. You're the next Chris McMillan.

Mm.

Take a sip so we can post.

Cold-pressed juice is trending super hard right now.

You're gonna get, like, 10,000 likes in ten minutes.

Are you trying

to fucking poison me?

This tastes like turtle shit.

You're supposed to be my personal assistant, Mallory.

Do you even know me?

Could you just go

and get me a macchiato

so I can rinse this taste out of my mouth?

Are the Kardashians filming out there?

What the fuck? - No.

It's bullshit. It's a hoax. It's like that time in Hawaii.

They're gonna text in, like, a minute with a retraction.

Oh. Hi, Daddy.

How's Hong Kong?

- Coco, listen to me. - Oh, you know what?

We have a terrible connection.

- I'll call you after I'm done... - Just shut up and listen.

The missile alert is real.

In less than an hour,

Los Angeles is going to be an empty crater.

Wait, Daddy, you're scaring me.

You can still be safe.

There are four spots reserved

for our family, but your mother and brother are here with me,

and we're not going to make it.

A car is coming.

It'll take you to Santa Monica Airport.

A private jet is waiting, so go. So go.

Wait, what are you talking about?

Your mother and I love you very much.

Wish we could be together again, but it's too late.

Just try to be happy, baby.

Oh, my God. - (Tires screech)

That's the only thing that matters.

- (Explosion) - (Coco gasps)

No! No, no, no!

Wait, was that real?

We got to go, Coco.

Come on. Come on.

(On TV) Widespread panic is being reported

in major cities around the country.

We can now confirm that a ballistic missile alert

was texted to public approximately 3:00 p.m.

- Pacific Standard Time. - (Phone buzzing)

The Pentagon has not yet released a statement

and there has been no word from the White House.

Babe, are you seeing this?

- Brock, where are you? - What do you mean? I'm at work.

I just heard a fucking amazing pitch.

Free Willy as a six-part limited series.

- It's kind of genius. - (Loud thud)

Brock, I love you. I don't want to live without you.

Get to Santa Monica Airport.

- There's a plane waiting for us. - What?

- (Tires squealing) - (Horn honks)

- (Screams) Coco?

WBN can now confirm

Hong Kong, London, numerous sites in the Baltics

and Moscow have all been hit and destroyed

by nuclear ICBMs.

This is it, ladies and gentlemen.

I can't believe we actually did it.

We have just been notified to evacuate.

I'm not gonna make it home.

So if my children are watching this...

...Daddy loves you very much.

Ugh. Esmeralda, the champagne's burnt again.

You left it in the freezer too long.

Where are you going?

You know I pay you for a ten-hour day.

I have to go home, Mrs. Evie.

It's the end of the world.

Nana, I've been trying to call you.

When he ran MGM,

your grandfather... God rest his soul...

would never return calls until the following day.

All of the stars and all of the agents

would have to go and see him in person

if they wanted to get...

What are you doing?

The government sent a warning.

- Missiles are coming. - So is global warming. Well.

It's probably fake news.

- I'm gonna call Donald. - No. This is real, Grandma.

- People are going to die today. - (Air raid siren blaring)

Let's have some burnt champagne.

Look, I can't get ahold of anyone.

My mom's going straight to voice mail.

- I got to go home, Coco. - No.

No, no, no, no, no. You need to stay here with me.

Okay? You can take my brother's ticket.

Mallory, you know I'm helpless without you.

I'm worse than Elton John.

I don't even know how to work a dishwasher

or open a door.

Besides, after the bomb drops,

there won't be anything to go home to.

Okay.

Why aren't we moving?!

- (Screams) Oh, my God! - (Screams) Jesus Christ.

- Oh, my God! - People are committing suicide

to avoid the blast.

- (Horn honking) Coco!

Coco, wait!

- What are you doing here? - (Air raid siren blaring)

I overheard your dad. There's four spots.

Room for all of us.

This is my Nana Evie.

- How do you do? - No, I don't.

What are you doing? Brock is gonna be here.

He's not gonna make it. It's chaos out there.

Jesus, what happened to your hair?

What are you talking about?

Okay, fine. Just get on the plane.

- Okay. - Okay? Mwah, mwah.

- Brock, where are you? No, look,

I'm coming. I'm in the worst traffic nightmare ever.

Okay, do whatever you have to do.

- Just get here. Hurry! All right, look.

I'm running.

I will be there in ten. Wait for me.

This doesn't look good.

Oh, my God. Brock, they're coming.

People are coming for the plane.

Coco!

It's now or never.

Brock, do you remember the contract that we had

- with each other? - No, no, no. Don't go there, babe.

Uh, at any time,

we can unilaterally release each other

from our monogamous obligations.

You are now free to see other people.

No, no, no, Coco!

Do not leave me in fucking Santa Monica.

Get on!

Get on the plane now!

Holy shit.

You bitch!

Where are we going?

Didn't your dad tell you?

I'll find out.

- There's nobody there. What?!

No stewardess? Oh.

I guess I won't be ordering the fresh-cut fruit, huh?

No.

Where the hell is Dad? It's almost 3:00.

I want him to be here when we find out.

Whatever happens,

- you just worked your butt off for three years. - I did.

Now, if they can't see how wonderful you are,

you know what? It's their loss.

Yeah.

You're destined for great things, Timmy.

It's 3:00. - All right, all right.

- Let's check. Come on. Come on, come on. - Oh.

I got in.

I knew it. - I got in!

I knew it.

- Oh, yes! - (Groans)

- Congratulations. - Oh, thank God.

UCLA!

(Chanting) UCLA! UCLA!

- (Alert tone chiming) - UCLA! UCLA!

UCLA.

Yeah, I'm buzzing, too.

- Dad, you missed it. - Honey?

- Haven't you been watching the news? - No.

What's going on?

It's World War Ill.

- What? Hong Kong,

London, numerous sites in the Baltics

and Moscow have all been hit and destroyed

by nuclear ICBMs.

- He's not serious, right? - No.

This is it, ladies and gentlemen. - No.

I can't believe we actually did it.

We have just been notified to evacuate.

What?

- I'm not gonna make it home. - No.