The Simpsons

The SimpsonsS15E16 " The Wandering Juvie "

d-ohh!

Official captions captured by Raceman in Canada

With the ATI TV Wonder pro TV Magazine program

captioning sponsored by fox broadcasting company

and twentieth century fox

where are your clothes

for the gentleman who's big and fat?

The basement, sir.

homer, before you

get anywhere near the escalator,

you've got to tie those shoes. Homer!

so many shoppers.

damn this-- oh!--

Resilient economy! Oh!

this is our "li'l hooker" line.

All the girls your age are wearing it--

except the freakishly unpopular.

But I'm eight years old!

So is your look.

Are you aware

that you've exposed your skin to a whole host

of airborne de-beautifiers? No.

This dermal magnifier will show

the extent of the damage.

:

He's eating my beauty!

Mm-hmm. Skin mites love the taste of beauty.

Try this rejuvenating lotion.

It contains over 60 ingredients.

Whoa!

I hope he didn't have children. Do they have children?

Millions of them.

sir,

other customers need to use that dressing room.

Dressing room?

Uh-oh.

Edna, we don't need wedding china.

The dishes mother won on let's make a deal

are holding up nicely.

Seymour, if we register for these dishes,

our wedding guests will buy them for us.

And I suppose those wedding guests

will also pay for dishwashing liquid,

heated water, and two-sided sponges?

Hm!

Silent anger: The cornerstone of a successful marriage.

Cool. Guns.

Die, happy couples.

that's not a toy, son.

It's a bar code reader.

It registers wedding gifts.

Bull-honky!

No, not bull-honky.

A couple uses the gun to select gifts they want

for their wedding.

If you'll excuse me,

I'm going to the employee lounge to finish my shasta.

Hmm.

Name of groom.

Bart simpson.

Name of bride.

Lotta cooties.

it's a nice day for a

white wedding

it's a nice day to start again

a fake wedding?

That's what I call chutzpah!

Yeah. I'm gonna scam this town out of so many presents.

And what I don't use,

I'm gonna return for store credit!

Both ( chanting ): Store credit! Store credit!

Store credit!

: Another employee

family wedding. What's the traditional

peasant gift in these parts, a milking cow?

Actually, silverware

is all that's left on the registry.

See if lenny wants to go in on a spoon.

Remember, if anyone asks,

you're my niece from out of town.

I am your niece, uncle joe.

Good lord, I'm an abomination!

this prank is my sergeant pepper'S.

I see neither blushing bride, nor ardent swain.

There is no wedding here!

oh, my god, we're sealed in!

Hey, nobody breathe my air!

Get your own!

why, you selfish little maggot!

I'll suck your lungs dry!

: Knock it off!

yes!

So,

you thought you'd pull a fake wedding, eh?

You're under arrest.

Come on, chief, it was just a prank.

Would some flatware make things right?

Um, what does it say on my badge?

"Cash bribes only."

Let's go.

Bart, the record of your mischief is staggering.

Just look at this file.

That doesn't look so big.

These are directions to the facility

where bart's criminal record occupies

three full storage lockers.

Six feet by eight?

Six by 14.

bart simpson,

I hereby sentence you to six months at the

springfield juvenile correctional facility.

Juvie?!

Please, judge, you can'T. I-I'll do anything.

I'll squeal on my dad-- he's been up to bad things.

Crap you never even thought of!

We've already got an informer

working deep cover on your dad.

One he'll never suspect.

Is it lenny?

Damn it! I mean...

uh, no.

Now, take that kid away.

No! You're not going to take my baby to jail!

all right, boys, she's not letting go.

Make the switch.

your eyes need diapers.

"Your eyes need di..." that's good, ralphie.

One slingshot...

one pack of cards, baseball...

one doodle, "fartzilla"...

one harmonica.

Perfect mood-setter for the end

of your freedom.

lessons by mail, worthwhile.

my baby boy is in jail.

I'm the worst mom in the world.

It's not all your fault.

All these years, I watched you

turn our son into a time bomb,

and yet I did nothing.

So in a way,

I, too, am a victim...

of you.

You're a great mom.

You were always there for bart

with love and support.

His acting out was probably caused by negative

reinforcement.

Oh, I get it. Blame the strangler.

woman: Just because

you've done time at juvie

doesn't mean the world has given up on you.

See for yourself the exciting careers

that wait for you upon your release.

these are all fast food jobs.

Ex-cons are a godsend to employers like me.

If you ask for a raise,

I just call your parole officer

and back in the can you go!

they fight, and fight...

ah, cartoons.

America's only native art form.

I don't count jazz, 'cause it sucks.

Freedom!

Bloodshed!

I declare an end

to the spectacular 3-d blood and gore.

they cut all the good parts.

I've lost everything I loved.

Okay, if I use my head, I can keep out of trouble.

Better stay out of the sandbox,

I could be buried alive.

Maybe the slide...

don't forget to buy your photos.

I'll just hang out next to girls' juvie.

Hello, ladies.

I'm gina.

You touch my fence again and your puberty's

going to be very boring.

: God, I hate this place.

It's nothing like the brochure.