The Simpsons

Ach!

Woo-hoo! TGI Monday.

Time to build my future with the power of work.

Hey, Simpson. They got fresh doughnuts in the break room.

No time for doughnuts.

I've gotta get to work. Work, work, work.

Look at that Homer Simpson.

He's the best kind of "holic": "worka."

Hmm. Only two people ahead of me. Hmm.

I'll be on top in no time.

Hmm.

Quitting time.

Whoa, whoa, lazy joe.

Not for 40 minutes.

Uh, who do you think you're fooling?

Sometimes the most important person to fool is yourself.

Woo-hoo! Overtime.

Huh?

Hmm.

What the-- I hired that cone.

What happened, Moe?

When did I go from an up-and-comer to a guy who drinks other people's beer?

Hey, what happened to my beer?

- A leprechaun. - Again?

I used to have ambition, Moe.

What took it away?

Ah, it's a real mystery.

Here, let me pour you another pitcher.

You're a good man, Moe Szyslak.

Just doing God's work.

You know, you start with huge dreams, but after 20 years at that plant,

all I've got is a big ball of rubber bands.

For 20 years, that ball ain't so big.

You start out, you think you're gonna have a big ball of rubber bands,

then you realize you even failed at that.

Oh, that's terribly sad.

Hmm.

Scooching over. Scooching, scooching.

Too far.

I share your disappointment, you see.

Because by this point, I thought I'd have won a prestigious research grant.

Ha! I've never even won in Words with Friends .

I have the words but not the friends, you see.

Wow. I never knew smart people could be unhappy.

Oh, my. That's a tear.

I have empathy which means that I am, in fact, human,

as I have long hypothesized.

Y'ello.

Homer Simpson? I was wondering if you'd be interested in

a job at the new nuclear plant in Shelbyville.

Me? Are you sure you don't want somebody younger or more Lenny?

No, you. I've never seen a résumé like this.

Technically, several of those jobs were court-ordered.

Works with law enforcement.

Great. Texting you a link for the interview.

- It's on Zoom. - Woo-hoo!

Finally, a use for this ring light I've been lugging around.

Could this be it?

The moment my life finally changes for the better.

Oh, Homie. This never would have happened

if you hadn't been sitting in a bar without your family.

I'm your self-doubt, and I say you're gonna screw it up.

Well, I'm your ambition, and I say you're gonna blow it.

- Screw it up. - Blow it.

No one loves you.

As usual, my imagination is right.

I'll never get that job.

Sir, I will help you with the power of science.

What does science have to do with nuclear science?

And why you?

Well, as success stories go,

I may not be an EGNOT...

...but I can certainly help you.

EGNOT? What's that?

That's Emmy, Grammy, Nobel, Oscar, Time Magazine subscriber.

Although I do have the easy one, of course.

I have an Emmy.

Me too.

I use mine as corn holders.

Marge, baby, when I get this job, we're gonna be rich. Rich!

It's okay, Homie.

We're fine.

Are we? I won't have a wife of mine mending vacuum bags.

You'll get new vacuum bags and someday, maybe, a new vacuum.

And handsome.

Hey, Dad. What you doing?

Getting ready for my job interview.

What's Professor Frink doing here?

Aren't they just supposed to interview you?

Of course it's just me.

Frink's here for moral support.

Well, why can't I give you moral support?

Because your moral support always comes with conditions.

I shouldn't drink so much.

I should stay alive so I can see you graduate.

Come on. Give up those dreams, kid.

- But-- - Give them up.

Okay.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm.

For 18 months, I led a team at the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.

Homer, you're early.

I'm still interviewing another candidate, Dr. Spivak.

I-I don't mind. I look even better in comparison to other people.

Doctor, let me interview Homer, and, uh, I'll get back to you soon.

Very soon.

Maybe five seconds, that kind of soon.

Homer, let's start with what you know about the NRC.

NRC, NRC.

Those are the gun nuts, right?

Oh, dear. As a fellow human, I want to help him,

but that's unethical.

But I am the kind of nerd that always must blurt out the answer.

Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

- Yes. - The Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Yes. They're important because...

They're the government agency for nuclear plants and materials,

created by executive order in 1975. Gluhavic.

...they're the government agency for nuclear plants and materials,

created by executive order in 1975. Gluhavic.

Hmm. I didn't know that.

Like an iceberg, there's more to you than meets the eye.

And like an iceberg, you probably won't see me during the summer.

Excellent. I love gentle humor.

And that's how a diffraction grating disperses light

into components by wavelength.

Hoyvin moyvin physics.

Homer, I must tell you this interview, uh, was like my feet before glycerin cream,

started rough but ended quite smooth.

You have the job.

Uh, ditto.

You know that's my computer, right?

Take it.

- We did it! - Huh-- Oh.

Your brains and my listening was the perfect combination.

High four!

And over, I go!

- I can't believe I got the job. - Well, that's wonderful.

And of course, you will not be needing my help any longer,

so I wish you the best.

Wait, wait, wait.

Look, sir, the deal was I would help you get the job. That's it.

I didn't even ask for anything.

My quid was woefully un-pro quo'd.

You can't walk out on me now. You know the saying,

"If you get a man a job, you feed him for a day.

If you do a man's job, you feed him for a lifetime."

Now you want me to do your job for you?

You're a fat, yellow banana slug, sir.

Please.

Fine, fine. I'll do your job.

I'll do all of it.

No, no, no, not all my job.

Like my March Madness Bracket, I'll handle that.

You can't be trusted with picking Baylor over Gonzaga.

All right, I'll do that too.

All right, Simpson, this is the 691st time you've left us for another job.

Yeah. Well, I have a good feeling about this time.

So, we finally said, "What the hell?"

We have a form for everything else around here, so why not this?

First, how long do you think you'll be gone?

As always, forever.

"Forever."

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Hmm. Mmm.

And finally in this instance,

where would you like everyone here to take this job and shove it?

I'll let you pick.

Now, all that's left is, uh, for you to storm out dramatically.

Don't tell me what to do!

I quit!

So, you need me to tell you what to do.

But there's no way I can be with you at the new job.

So, I have engineered this.

Just get it out here.

This is the "Ear-a-no De Frink-a-talk."

I named it myself.

You see, it transmits my voice right into your ear.

So you can repeat my words like a parrot, or a macaw or even my pet budgie.

I'm in a cage, Professor.

And even I have more fun than you.

Wait a minute. Weren't there two birds in that cage?

I'm a cannibal.

We Finns believe the best employee is a rested employee.

Now, it takes months before an employee is comfortable sleeping at work.

We-- Well, look at you.

Huh?

What? Occupied.

There's that American can-sleep spirit.

Now, let me show you the employee canteen.

Oh, geez. I can't afford this.

No, it's all free.

Free? Who are you people?

Well, in Finland, we're not only experts on nuclear power,

but for six years in a row,

we've been the happiest people in the world.

Makes sense.

You live so close to Santa Claus.

Actually, our happiness is a combination of Jante, low expectations,

sisu , determination.