Mr. D

- What are you doing? - Planning.

For school?

Planning my sick days this year.

- Whaddya mean your sick days? - How do you know when you're gonna be sick?

Let me explain something to you.

Teachers don't actually use sick days for when they're sick.

- Sick days are for sporting events they want to watch. - Right.

Uh weddings, parties where they're just drinking all weekend.

Sure, then what do you do when you're actually sick?

- You go in and teach. - Sick. Show a movie.

If you're hungover you have a work period.

You don't actually stay home when you're sick.

- I dunno if that's clear, but... - It's a lot of work.

Part of the job. For instance, I look up, when's March Madness?

- Right. - I find the dates. I put in the Thursday.

- 'Cause the Thursday, remember the day Thursday? - Right.

It's all day games. Wednesday, I gotta make a note on my calendar.

Start walking around the school doing this.

Go to the office, 'Hey guys', 'What's wrong Gerry?'

'Oh, I don't know, just a wicked headache.'

Thursday, I'm going to have a migraine.

If only you put this kind of effort into teaching children.

- Now, tomorrow I want to go golfing. - I didn't plan for this.

- Right. - So I gotta call in sick now ok?

- Oh. - So I get my mind in sick mode.

So I'm like, ahhh, so I start believing my own story.

Okay, I'll call. Just give me one sec Bill, I'm going to call.

- I do not feel well. - Yeah.

You've reached Xavier Academy, please leave a message after the tone.

Hey Trudy, it's Gerry. I'm just ah...

I don't know, I've come down with something. Sorry Trudy.

- Um, I'm not going to be in tomorrow. - Uh, my lesson plans are in my desk.

Can I come golfing with you?

- I'm just messing with you. - You can just press one and rerecord it.

What?

- Three! - -Message sent, goodbye.

Now I gotta go to work. So...

Another free day for the future.

- Here's my attendance. - What's that?

It's a birthday gift for Lisa.

How come you never got me anything on my birthday?

- Didn't I? - No.

Oh.

- Happy Birthday Gerry. - A Pencil?

Ah, There you are. Can I see you in my office for a second?

Sure. Very funny Trudy.

- Why don't you say that's from both of us? - Nope.

- What's up sir? - Gerry, I'm in a tight spot.

I need you to take over the varsity boys basketball team.

For the rest of year.

Wow. Where's Coach Keenan?

- He's in the hospital. - He could be gone for the year.

- Oh no. - Look, it means you're going to

have to give up the junior girls volleyball, you okay with that?

- Am I okay with that? - Sir, are you kidding?

This is the year they start menstruating.

And when girls are on a team together their cycles line up.

And it is a nightmare, trust me. So yes. I'm okay giving that up.

Look you don't have to do much.

- Team hasn't lost in two years. - They had a couple close ones though sir.

Let's be honest. I can fix that.

Wow, this is a lot to take in sir. How sick is he?

- Is he going to be back next year? - No idea.

- Fingers crossed. - What?

- Like for fingers, like... - I won't let you down.

- Thank you. - Don't let the kids down.

- I won't let them down either. - Thanks sir.

Ahhhhh.

- Yes! - Hey! Paul.

- Beautiful day. - Yeah.

One of my students just dropped this apple off on my desk.

- Well that's sweet. - -Lots of love in the world.

- Um, speaking of love. - Well... like...

- Ahhhh! Ugh!! - Are you okay?

- Oh my god. - Ah, I think I chipped my tooth.

Oh my god. Yeah, I see that.

That's a huge piece of your tooth.

I guess that's why we have so many right?

- That's one way of looking at it. - Ah man.

Looks like I'll just be eating on this side for awhile, huh?

You could just not eat it, and have a sandwich.

- Gotta go enlighten the youth. - Okay.

Good chat.

Alright, new season, new coach.

As you know, Mr. Keenan's not going to be with us this year, unfortunately.

But we'll continue on with the same success that you've had in the past.

- Wow! What's your name? - Eddie, sir.

You cannot teach height.

And unfortunately for the rest of you...

Hey Coach, can I have a minute with you and the team?

Ahh, kind of in the middle of something, okay.

That's our new guidance counsellor.

How are you?

I'm here to offer my services as the assistant to the coach.

- Oh no, that's okay Frank. - Thank you.

I'm quite capable of handling this myself.

And hey, you just started. It's your first year here.

Get settled, you don't even know your workload yet.

Please, those kids can guidance counsel themselves.

Well, you know what? This is something, it's a little bit of a process.

We gotta go through Callaghan, and...

I already spoke with him, he thinks it's a great idea.

- And you're already. Okay. - Why not?

Mr... I don't know your last name.

- Frank. Yup. - Just call you Frank? Kids call you Frank.

- They call you by your first name? - It connects us.

Okay, ah, this is Coach Frank.

Also, your guidance counsellor.

And he will be helping. So give me two lines.

We'll start with a typical layup drill. Okay, alright.

Okay.

- This is so exciting. - Yup.

- When's the first game? - Ah, tomorrow actually.

Ahh, can't do tomorrow. Big date.

- Hold up. - Oh.

- Safety first. - Oh, okay.

As you were.

Are you... Are you kidding me?

Oh, this is so nice everyone.

Aw, it's your birthday. So...

- I got you a present. - Oh, Trudy.

- You shouldn't have. - Honestly, it's nothing.

Oh my god, it's gorgeous.

I got up early and got you this cake.

Trudy, you know me so well.

- Oh, thank you so much. - Oh.

- I called half an hour before. - They engraved it, so...

- Thank you for remembering. - You're welcome, okay.

- Alright. Okay. Alright, okay. - Thank you.

They gave me the extra one, with a layer of pudding.

- That was nice. - Is this real pearls?

- Mmm hmm. - Ooh, that's a little dry.

- Something wrong with the cake? - Nope.

Happy Birthday.

- Hey Bobbi. - Happy Birthday.

- Hey, how was your first practice? - Ah, it was good.

Except I got this really tall kid, Eddie who's absolutely awful.

- The giant? - Yeah.

Well, his life expectancy will be less, that's for sure.

Okay. But other than that.

Anyway, he's terrible.

Why'd Keenan keep him on the team? I don't get it.

- I think he likes his enthusiasm. - Kid's got pep.

Yeah, lots of kids have enthusiasm.

You don't keep them on a varsity basketball team.

Sure you do. I mean I made all my teams because I had enthusiasm.

You... what teams did you play on, Simon?

Musical... Musical.

That's not a team.

Okay Gerry, do you know how many people it takes to put on a musical?

Cast plus crew plus director equals team.

Simon, those are people that are cut from real teams.

Okay? I think I gotta cut this kid.

That team hasn't lost a game in two years, Gerry.

- You're gonna mess with that chemistry? - He's never gonna play.

What a waste of size. He's just gonna sit there on the bench.

- Mmm, in the chorus. - With his feet on the ground.

- Reaching for the stars. - Okay.

Paul! What happened to your car?

Kids must have been having a bad day.

- Xavier students did this? - This?

Nah, inner city students. I volunteer at their school.

How do you know it was one of them?

They threatened they'd do it weeks ago.

- Well, you need to call the police. - Nah.

Those kids don't have the same opportunities as ours.

- Paul, this is a serious crime. - You know what's a serious crime?

Kids growing up with no love.

So, you're just going to drive the car home with the windshield like this?

- Hey, why not? - It's a beautiful day.

He is so bad A-S-S.

Mr. Duncan, may I speak with you for just a moment?

- Yeah, hi. - My name is Ivan Yurkov.

- My son Eddie plays on your basketball team. - Oh yeah! Eddie.

- Tall kid. - Yes, that's my Eddie.

- Yeah, yeah. - Well I just want to say hello.

Hello.

And to tell you, how much I appreciate what you do.

- It's not a problem. - A small sign of appreciation.

If you don't mind. You like steak?

- Yeah. - Yes?

- Seriously? - With bone in, the best.

- A friend of mine owns beefs. - Yeah, I love it.

- Here. - For me?

- Yes. - You're giving me these steaks?

- Oh yes. - Well, thank you.

- Hey, you know what? - Maybe you play Eddie.

- I'm sorry, what? - You know, play Eddie.

- Yeah, he may play, sometime. - We have a really strong team.

- It's hard to get him in so... - The last coach I no like.

He no play Eddie. Well now he's out of picture, so...

- I come to you. Pozhaluysta. - Yeah.

- I never see my boy play. - You've never seen him play?

Well, I always try to get everybody in, no promises but...

- Oh, I almost forgot. - My wife she appreciate your coaching too.

- Oh thank you. Oh. - You like merlot?

- Oh yeah, wow. - You look like merlot man.

- You did not have to do this. - I appreciate it.

Very kind of you, very kind of you. Thank you.

- Anytime. - Okay.