Mr. D

What are you doing?

What are you doing up?

I dunno. Is this how you always start your day?

Sometimes.

- Hey, how are you? - Good, how are you?

- Good. - Frank. Subbing for a few days.

I'm Gerry, Frank. Listen, I just saw where you parked.

But, we have a handicap spot right up front.

I appreciate that, but I just want to be treated like everyone else.

- So, regular parking's fine for me. - Alright.

- Well let me get the door for ya. - I got it.

- Okay, well I'll... - No.

Look at the picture. Do I look like I'm in a wheelchair?

- No, you don't. - No. After you.

Alright, thanks Frank, see you later.

Sir, you can't be on your cell phone.

- It's school business. - It's a policy here.

We're not allowed phone calls, Sir.

I understand that but it's official school business.

- He's not allowed to talk. - Please don't do that.

- He's not allowed to be on the phone. - Yeah, no, okay.

- Okay, see you later George. - Thanks, I gotta go.

- No, that's not me. That's... - No it is, I'm taking off now.

I'm going to call you right back, I'll call you right back.

Aren't you a little old to be a hall monitor?

Oh, that's funny.

You are talking to the principal of this establishment, my friend.

And I'd like to know what you're doing in my school

wearing in a suit when there's children running around?

- I'm with the school board. - So you know I'm not the...

- Principal? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - You can talk on your phone.

But you gotta make it less obvious. I hide in the corner.

- Talk like that. - Thanks for the tip there Mr...?

Dwyer. Paul Dwyer.

- Oh! You're Paul Dwyer? - I am.

- I've heard a lot of good things about you. - Yeah.

Anyway I've got to go, I'm late for a meeting, see you.

Keep up the charity work, there, Paul.

Thank you all for your patience.

Just a couple more things and I'll get you out of here.

I heard this was optional, so... slide over.

- No. - Slide over. - No, there's no room.

- Simon, just let me... slide over a little. - Just slide over!

- No! No! - Nice of you to join us, Mr. Duncan.

Hey, I want to talk to you about volleyball.

No! Not now.

Alright, just one last piece of business. Paul?

I've been thinking, this season, let's try to expand the recycling program.

Why don't we just pull up the football field and plant a bunch of trees, Paul?

So, I put bins together.

You got some for plastic, cardboard, glass, Styrofoam.

Ah, did you put a bin together for regular garbage, Paul?

- Like, ah, food and napkins? - That's called compost.

Yes! Okay, up top.

- All right, I think that about covers it. - Teach hard everyone.

Alright, Mr. Duncan, Ms. Mason, my office, 20 minutes.

- For, for? - Ooooh!

- You done? - Yes, yes I am done.

Mr. Malik!

- I have this name. - The grass outside is looking shaggy.

You need to go outside and deal with it.

I will cut plants. But first...

Malik take break.

- Morning Robert. - Cracking the whip early this morning?

- Without any success I might add. - How so?

That was successful. Malik knows who's in charge.

Yeah, Callaghan.

Yeah, and when Callaghan's not here. It's me. Okay?

Oh Robert. To be a great leader you need to inspire fear.

Callaghan is effective because people are afraid of him.

- No one's afraid of you Robert. - Oh is that so?

Because I swear on all known Gods I will rip your head off

your body and use it as a tennis ball for my pure enjoyment.

If you don't get your finger out of my face, I'm gonna have to break it.

- Can I try one again without the finger? - Nope.

You missed a spot.

- Hey Frank. - Hey.

Frank, you know we have an elevator right here?

- Are you stupid? - Pretend you don't see the crutches.

- Please, Gerry! - I don't see them.

- See ya Gerry. - See ya.

- Gerry Duncan, Lisa Mason. - Jody Green from the school board.

- Gerry Duncan? Not Paul Dwyer? - Sir, Mr. Brown here was...

- Mr. Green. - Oh God. Ah, Gerry.

What did I say? What did I say? What did I do? What did I say?

You said Mr. Brown, but I'm Mr. Green.

Mr. Green here was on his cell phone and I thought he was lurking.

Yes, I met the principal earlier.

I do a lot of, I do a lot of impersonations.

It's really nice to meet you, Mr. Green.

- It's a pleasure, Ms. Mason. - Yeah, love to hear more about that.

- Okay, you know what? Why are we here? - Please sit down.

I just wanted to give you guys a head's up that Jody is going to

be evaluating you both, the next couple of days.

The board likes to evaluate all new teachers the first couple of years.

Just to make sure you're off to a good start. It's standard.

What happens if we get a bad evaluation?

Well, you might have to do additional qualification courses.

Or! You could always get fired.

Fi... Fired?

Sir, that's ridiculous, one persons...

What if he has a different teaching style than I do?

And I have a very modern approach that the kids can relate to.

It's not in any books or anything.

As long as you're aware of the paradigm shifts taking place in the education world.

- You should be okay. - Yeah.

- Obviously, we all do that. - So, it's good.

- Good. Mike. - Jody.

I look forward to seeing your class, Ms. Mason.

- Yes. - Lovely to meet you.

I'm very excited. Thank you.

Alright then.

- He's so nice. - It's because he smiled at you.

Come on, Sir, we're going to let one person decide our fate here?

- This is ridiculous. - Duncan, look, listen...

I like you. I really do. Despite all your shortcomings.

But I gotta tell you if he gives you a poor evaluation I'll have no choice,

but to accept the board's recommendation.

- You have to bring your A game. - Okay.

Sir, I saw you were looking right at me there.

So now let's give Lisa her little speech.

- Okay, thanks. - Thank you. Great opportunity.

- It is. - How come I got a one on one speech?

But how come?

Hi Norman.

Nice to have you back. How was your stress leave?

- I do feel better. - Good.

- Well, bienvenue chez nous. - I teach French.

I don't speak it. Capiche?!

- Yup. - Gym teachers.

- Wow. - Oh, he's much better.

So, you and Craig, you left him, what is this nine times?

No, it's eight but it's different now because I feel like...

- Ms. Galka, my office. Now! - He really hears me now.

Right? So nine, eight who cares right? At that point it doesn't...

- Bobbi! - What?

I asked if I could see you in my office, please!

Ugh, I'm kind of busy right now.

But why don't you just drop by my phys-ed office if you need to talk to me? God.

- And I think that's a big step. - It's a date!

And I feel like, sometimes when he doesn't hear me

it makes me want to like... shake him!

Alright, special visitor today, Mr. Green, from the board of education.

Who is here to assess and observe my teaching style.

And perhaps pass on some of the ways I teach to future

generations of younger teachers.

So, thank you Mr. Green. It is an honor to be chosen for this project.

Actually I'm here to evaluate Mr. Duncan.

And make sure he's progressing properly as a new teacher.

I'm not really new. I've been subbing for years. So...

Right.

Well what happens if Mr. Duncan gets a bad review?

Well then we probably just get a new teacher.

Get out, Jimmy.

- I'm just kidding. - Out.

Insubordination, I do not tolerate. So write that down.

Where does he go?

I don't know. He's a big boy, he'll make his own choices.

- What if he gets hit by a car? - Then that's a bad choice. Okay.

- I'm going to go to the back of the class now. - Okay.

If I could just get a students notebook or something.

Yeah, not his. That's not the one we want to take.

Maya, can I borrow your notebook?

I'm actually using this for a class.

- Maya, can I just borrow that? - Uhah, not using it.

- Thank you, I think. - No problem.

A lot of that is information I've given her from my lessons.

That are very prepared.

Alright, let's pick up things from last class.

Where were we in our lesson?

You were telling us about your first high school girlfriend.

- You and Bethany hit a rough patch. - We hit a rough patch.

- So the story continues... - Sorry, is this part of today's lesson?

The start, I always do a little story, so...

But Bethany, let me tell you about the break up because, totally her fault.

Sorry, ah, I'm going to need to get your course syllabus and your lesson plans.

- If I can get that tomorrow? - Tomor... tomorrow?

One day.

- Wow, you're still at it? - Yeah.

I gotta have short term lesson plans, long term lesson plans.

- It's a lot of work. - Didn't you already have a lesson planned?

- Not written down, Bill. - In my head.

That's where my lessons are when I teach.

They are in my head. But now I have to write them on paper

for this evaluator. Why do I explain this to you?

Are you the only one getting evaluated?

No, Lisa too, but she's got nothing to worry about.

- She's so hot. What's her deal? - Bill.

Is she single? Or...?

- Are you done? - I gotta finish this.