Mr. D

Ahh! What?!

Noo!

What's going on? Oh my head!

- Nooo! - Oh God!

- Noooo. Ahh! - Ahh! Ahh!

Ahhh. Ahh.

- We got married! Ahh! - Ahhhh.

- Ohhh! - What? What the...?!

- My bridesmaid. - No! What's that cat?

Ring bearer.

You've got to be kidding me.

Oh no! Oh no!

- No. - Mmmm.

Oh my God! Oh my God!

- You don't think that we...? - What?

Y'know...

- What? No! What? - What are you talking about?

What if we had sex Gerry?!

Oh, I'm supposed to get that from half a sentence?

- Can you finish your sentence? - It's okay, it's totally fine.

'Cause, you know why?

Because we're both fully clothed, so clearly, nothing happened!

Yay!

No, no, I wouldn't be so sure of that.

But your shirt's still tucked in, Gerry.

- Doesn't mean anything! That's my thing! - What?

- After I do "it", I get fully dressed. - It's just something I've always done.

That is super weird, but I'm still dressed.

And that's certainly not my thing. So...

Doesn't mean anything either, 'cause I dress the other person too.

That is so creepy, Gerry.

Creepy would be leaving you they're naked, while I'm fully dressed to the nines.

That would be creepy. But because I'm a gentleman...

And I have class, I find your clothes and I put them on you.

Perfectly! As I have possibly done in this case.

I'm gonna go to the shower and... Scrub... Everything.

- Well, I'm going back to bed. - Who goes to school this early?

Like, what are you going to do? Mark?

Bell's gonna ring, let's get to class.

Gerry, we need to talk.

Yeah, what? About how you used me for my body last night?

- And wouldn't drive me to work. - No one can know about this.

Obviously! You think I'm proud of this?

That was probably the best night you've ever had.

For me, that's the lowest I've ever stooped, Lisa.

- Oh, come on. - Rock bottom for Gerry Duncan last night.

That's great, I get it, okay.

- Mum's the word, alright? - I'm not telling a soul.

It's embarrassing even walking in with you.

No, no, no, no, no.

In my country, when two people get married,

we say "congratulations."

- What? - It means "all the best."

No, how do you know we got mar...

You've been bragging all over town, haven't you?

- What? Are you crazy, Gerry? - I receive all-staff e-blast.

E-blast?

- Congrats, sir. - You too, Miss Mason.

- The kids know. - The children. The children know.

- You cc'd all student. - A tad unprofessional, if you ask Malik.

- What were you thinking? - Over the top.

My life is ruined.

- My life is over. - Your life?! Your life?!

- This is creds for you. - Oh, come on!

- Guess what? - Oh, ahh...

They found Uncle Tommy? The nightmare is over?

Nope... I convinced mother to invite you over for dinner again.

- I thought she hated me. - She...

Did. But...

It was nothing a little sweet Simon pillow talk couldn't fix.

- I knew she wasn't a monster. - Be careful.

- So, what can I bring to dinner? - Anything... Except pie.

Don't... Don't bring pie.

Yeah, I feel like pie was a real trigger last time.

- Sorta working through that. - Maybe a tart?

I would say let's avoid the whole pie/cake family.

- Right. - You know what?

Don't bring anything.

- Nothing? - This is gonna be so fun.

Yeah... Okay...

Okay, let's open up our...

Congratulations Mr...

Ha. Very funny.

Maybe you're not aware of how marriage works.

For your information, when a woman marries a man

she actually takes his last name. Because we are still...

The king of the castle. So, that is a very ignorant comment.

Either way, good job marrying up, Mr. Mason.

Oh, yeah right!

Pretty sure Ms. Mason is the one that married up.

Obviously, girls? Right?

- This is such a surprise, Mr. Mason. - I thought you were gay.

'Cause I'm pretty?

Pretty hand... 'Cause I'm handsome?

Pretty handsome. Is that why? That makes sense.

Mr. Mason, if you're such a good catch, are you saying you settled for Ms. Mason?

- I don't settle. Okay? - Mr. Mason doesn't settle.

'Cause Mr. Mason can get...

Mr. Duncan... Mr. D...

Can get who he wants to get, so I don't settle.

Open your books. Let's go.

- Ladies. - Oh hey, Lisa.

- What's new? - Nothing. What's new with you?

Well, Bobbi was just telling me about the

time she made the worst mistake of her life.

And how disgusted and ashamed she felt.

Mmm hmm and then Trudy was talking about how...

She got super loaded one night and then married this huge...

- This huge loser. - Mmmm.

And then, of course we realized that we were both talking about you.

Yeah! So, awkward.

Okay, yes, I married Gerry.

And that was after he had publicly proposed to another woman.

- Which makes you Gerry's... - Just wait for this part.

Second choice for a wife...

Ahhh, wow! Let that wash over you!

- That day. - Alright.

- I did a terrible thing. - Mmm.

- Okay? Guilty. - But we've all done stupid stuff.

I don't think like that.

- You and Robert in the car. - What?

How about the cold cut buffet with Dwyer? Just...

- Bon appétit. - I don't know how you know that.

- Oh, I must have told her. - Thank you.

- Trudy? You and your brother... - Your brother? Ewww!

- Well, it's complicated. - Yeah, I should hope so.

It's disgusting! So let's cut Lisa a little slack.

Okay?

- She's kinda right. - Yeah.

Y'know, sometimes the heart wants what the stomach can't keep down.

I have the image of your brother in my mind. Ugh.

Yeah, me too.

Come on, come on.

This book is overdue.

Hey! Don't you dare re-shelve that.

Hello, Spencer. I wanted to offer my condolences...

Oh, nobody died?

Well that's surprising because your book's a week late.

Please tell me you didn't dog ear that copy of.

Great Expectations.

- Ms. Terdie? - Do you see what's going on here?

Ah, yes. You seem swamped.

I'll say it again.

This library's the only thing standing between these kids and

full blown, hard-core illiteracy and it is seriously understaffed.

I need an assistant.

Well, what would you say to thirty assistants?

If you're not going to take me seriously...

I am though. Behold, the first shipment of e-readers.

How's that supposed to help me?

It's the entire library at the push of a button.

That technology is light years away.

- Really? - Can you help me find Animal Farm?

- Sure, I'll just look it up here... - Ah, no need.

- Locked and loaded, Connie. - But, you need to check that out.

She doesn't, see she's already checked in...

To the future.

All you have to do is enter your student ID...

And Robert's your uncle.

It's usually Bob. But my name's Robert.

Well, I'll be damned.

Ms. Mason, I need to speak to you for a second.

- Oooh! - No, we hardly like each other.

Go to class.

Ah, listen babe...

- Did you just call me "babe?" - I... Yes, 'cause we're married.

That's what you're supposed to do, I don't like it either.

Speaking of which, we gotta go get this annulled right now.

- Okay. But don't you have class? - Who's asking me?

- Principal or wife? - Your principal.

- No class. - Your wife?

I do, I have the grade twelves.

- Don't tell anyone. - Gerry, you can't just...

You know, this is way more important.

- That's what I love about you. - Okay. What are you doing?

I was going to kiss you, 'cause I am your husband.

- No! - But not in front of the kids. I get it.

Or anywhere else, in front of anyone else.

I don't know what I was thinking. Bad, bad Gerry.

Dumb idea.

Well, this is nice.

- Hi. - Oh Bobbi! So nice to see you!

What can I help you with?

Well, you know how we have health class scheduled later on?

Sure do! I've been preparing for it all morning.

Okay, well we're going to go ahead and cancel that

and just stay in the classroom and work off these e-readers instead.

Wait, you might want to reconsider because I put aside some nifty hardcovers

about the digestive system and I think your class would really

enjoy some of the pop up illustra...

Never liked that bitch anyway.

So, I was just...

I was just tying my shoelace. So...

- What? - Nothing.

Pop up.

Before finalizing the annulment I need to ask a few questions.