Rome

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

He's gone. Put him over.

Sir.

Eh?

Oh, salve, Vorenus.

- How are you? - Good enough.

- Water. - Hmm, thank you.

I was far away.

All my life...

I've been fearful of defeat.

But now that it has come...

it's not near as terrible as I'd expected.

The sun still shines.

Water still tastes good.

Glory is...

all well and good but...

life is enough, nay?

Glorious news! At Actium in Greece,

the navy of our Imperator, Octavian Caesar,

under the command of Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa,

has won a decisive victory over Queen Cleopatra

and her slave Mark Antony.

The Egyptian fleet has been destroyed.

Even now, Octavian Caesar advances on Alexandria,

where the witch and her creature take refuge.

Apparently, Cleopatra took fright

and fled as soon as the battle started.

And that cowardly villain Antony jumped in a boat

and chased after her.

Left his men to die for the sake of lust.

Antony's no coward.

As soon as they knew they'd lost the battle,

they fled to save the gold

that they'd stowed on Cleopatra's ship.

They plan to fight on, no doubt.

They cannot do that without money.

Wasn't cowardice.

That's not what my husband says.

Your husband's a liar.

Dear me, one might wonder whose side you're on.

He wasn't like that as a child. He was a good honest boy.

I don't know what happened.

I'm to blame, probably.

If you maintain Cleopatra and her progeny on the throne,

His Honor Mark Antony, by his sacred oath,

will withdraw from public life.

He will reside quietly in Egypt as a private citizen

and promises never to engage in any way

whatsoever with politics...

Tell him no. He will put himself and his woman

- in my hands without conditions. - Yes, sir.

There is a man close to Antony.

His name is Lucius Vorenus.

I want you to speak to him alone.

Tell him Titus Pullo is here and will answer for his safety

if he can find a way to open the gates.

You can tell him that,

but it won't do any good.

Is there some word we could send him

that he knows comes only from you?

Pullo, if need be, I will burn down the palace...

with all inside.

Tell him that his children are well...

and that I hope my child is well also.

Private joke.

He'll understand.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (CHILDREN LAUGHING)

Speak.

His Honor Gaius Octavian Caesar states that his answer is no.

That's all?

He demands that you surrender yourself

and your people without conditions.

Calm.

I am calm.

I am.

You go and tell...

that frog-spawned homunculus

- that I... - Calm.

We must remain calm.

Vorenus, find this man a drink or something.

Surrender, he says.

I'd sooner eat my own children than surrender to him.

We could escape by night... in disguise.

We could go south...

and...

and hide under bushes like...

like hunted animals?

No, no, I cannot run.

I will be guided by you, naturally.

If you think there is some other path available to us.

Death.

Death is available to us.

Is there not some military trick,

some, some clever ruse to turn things about.

You're so good at that sort of thing.

Oh, piss and blood, woman.

I'm a soldier...

not a fucking magician.

Look around us...

Whores, hermaphrodites and lickspittles.

This is our army now.

This...

is all we have left.

Titus Pullo says that your children are well.

He hopes his child is well also.

He says it is a private joke that you'll understand.

- So he's here? - And close to Caesar.

He answers for your safety...

if you will forsake Antony and find a way

- to open the gates. You tell Titus Pullo

that his son is well...

but he has forgotten who I am.

Maybe you should think on it a while.

- What other way... - You, emissary.

A challenge.

I challenge your master...

- to single combat. - Sir?

Let him meet me face to face with sword and shield,

just as our ancestors did.

Then we shall see who is the better man.

- Antony. - No.

This is the way.

How can he refuse?

His honor is at stake, he must accept.

Or he will be exposed as a coward.

Go tell him. Tell everyone in his camp!

Mark Antony has called the dog out.

Run!

Vorenus...

fetch some weapons.

We shall practice.

- Vorenus. - Highness.

Octavian's going to kill me, is he not?

They're negotiating. It'll be all right.

Do not lie to me.

There can only be one son of Caesar.

If anyone dies, it will be me.

Talk that way loud enough, the Gods will hear you

and they'll make it so. Hmm?

Come with me to the armory. We'll get you a decent sword.

If it comes to a fight, you can give as good as you get.

- Single combat? - With sword and shield.

He's gone mad, has he?

I'd say more drunk or drugged than mad, sir.

What of Cleopatra? Is she in the same condition?

No, sir. Sober... alert.

- And Lucius Vorenus? - Remains loyal to Antony.

Thank you. Stay close by.

A siege then. I'll inform the engineers.

Even a madman could hold that palace for weeks, months.

- Burn it down then. We need to keep

the Egyptian people quiet.

I suspect destroying the royal palace

with their queen inside might make them rather peevish.

What then?

- (PANTS) - (GRUNTS)

This is for your queen alone.

- (ANTONY GRUNTING) - No other. Is that clear?

Yes.

Enough.

I amuse you?

- No, sir. I assure you... - I'm a fucking clown...

am I?

Eh?

Oh, shall...

Shall I do a little dance for you, huh?

- Does that please you? - Your Highness... Divinity...

Stand up.

Give him your sword and shield.

Let's see...

- if he can do any better. - Antony.

No. (SHUSHES)

Okay?

Take them!

- Queen Majesty, please. - Don't look to her.

I'm the master here. Now take them.

- You ready? - (WHIMPERS)

- (SHOUTS) - (SHRIEKS)

- (GROANS) - (COUGHS)

- (SHRIEKS) - (CROWD LAUGHING)

- (SHOUTS) - (GROANS)

Really, sir, I must protest.

Yes! Yes!

Ah!

Young Hermes has returned.

So...

what does the boy say?

When do we meet?

- Sir... Hmm?

- ...Octavian Caesar... Uh-huh?