Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (かぐや様は告らせたい～天才たちの恋愛頭脳戦～)

Oh, love me, mister!

Oh, mister!

It pains me so much I'm in disarray

It's a dangerous game only we can play

Love is war! Love is war! Love is war!

Let us dance in anticipation of fate

A feeling of blooming love toys with me

And then our fingertips meet

Unable to wait for what fate will bring

I want to say these words to you

That will bring down the walls of your heart

The words of a confession of love

Oh, love me, mister!

Oh, mister!

If it's not a dream, then tell me, please

Hey, mister! Please, mister!

Tell me everything in your sweet, sweet voice

There's no stopping these feelings anymore

So we might as well steal each other's hearts

It's a dangeous game only we can play

Love is war! Love is war! Love is war!

The thunder god's gonna steal my belly button!

Kaguya Wants To Drop Him Off

Didn't know you were so afraid of thunder

The sound it makes as it tears through the sky is terrifying!

Loud, random noises are the worst!

Why not just cover your ears?

IF YOU HADN'T NOTICED, MY HANDS ARE A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT!

I HAVE TO PROTECT MY BELLY BUTTON!

I SWEAR I COULDN'T BE MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD!

Is... she using that word right?

Straight... forward...

Since your belly button doesn't seem to need protection,

can I borrow your hands?

Sure, do you mean like this?

Stop

All the trains have been stopped because of the typhoon!

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

You'd better go ahead and call home.

We don't own a car, so it's no use.

What am I gonna do?

I know!

Shuchiin

I could offer to have my chauffeur give him a ride.

Shirogane Household

Um, I may have an idea.

Wait a second,

THAT'S KINDA THE SAME THING AS A DATE!

Oh, it's not kind of the same thing.

It is the same thing.

Sitting shoulder to shoulder in close quarters,

the sound of the rain and radio blending into a

perfect medley while you strike up any number of conversations.

And if a stop light happens to be red...

Oh, I wish this light would stay red forever.

It only serves to prolong the magic.

Although technically her driver would be third wheeling the entire time,

a dates a date,

and to someone like Kaguya, it doesn't get much more ideal.

So, in conclusion:

It hurts... it hurts...!

If I volunteer to take him home, I'm basically asking him out!

Is there's something wrong?

Not at all.

Why would there be?

It'd be fine if the president brought it up,

but I can't afford to offer a ride unprompted.

Still, abandoning him in his time of need

feels like it might have its own set of consequences.

So I'll simply have to find a way to make him ask

for my help instead of volunteering it.

And that sound means my taxi's almost here.

They sure didn't waste any time.

The heck should I do?

Oh yeah,

the president doesn't have a ride home yet, does he?

That... seems to be the case.

There's plenty of room in my taxi!

Oh.

I think I saw a flash of lightning.

I'll keep your ears covered nice and tight,

so you don't hear the thunder, okay?

What's that?! I can't hear you!

Perhaps I should shield your eyes while I'm at it.

I don't think I like this...

Now, let's go downstairs

and greet that taxi of yours, shall we?

Not being able to see is scary,

but it's also kinda fuuunn!

What a weird game.

Alright,

now that the harbinger of chaos is out of the way,

it should be smooth sailing from here.

Or at least it will be, as soon as I come up with a plan.

I'm so screwed, I was scheduled to work.

If this downpour doesn't let up, I'll miss my shift!

Quite the quandary.

Typhoons are unfortunate,

but it's still unprofessional to miss work because of them.

You could call a taxi,

but that'd cost you more than you make in a day, right?

Perhaps you should ask someone you know to take you.

I mean, your reputation as a professional is on the line.

Excellent!

Looks like that was effective.

I'm gonna go think this over in the restroom.

Thanks for sharing.

The president is much too frugal to cave in and pay for a taxi,

meaning he'll be begging me for a ride any minute now.

It's the only logical outcome.

Victory is mine.

Let's see, here.

I'd have to work five hours to pay for a cab,

but I can't just call in when taking one's an option, can I?

Oh no!

The trains are up and running again!

What kind of typhoon are you if you can't rain hard enough

to stop a few modes of public transportation!

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Item one of the seven tools to take down the president:

a dead battery.

Anticipating a variety of situations,

Kaguya has prepared seven special items

to aid in defeating Shirogane.

And this bad boy just happens to be one of them.

I have roughly sixty seconds before he returns.

It's not much time, but

it's just enough to switch out his phone battery!

I couldn't have chosen a mission with a higher difficulty level.

I can do it, though.

I have to do it!

Are... you okay?

Yes, of course!

Just doing some light exercise.

Great,

now my battery's dead?

Hey, Shinomiya,

mind if I borrow your-

Looks like my ride

finally made it, so I'd best be on my way!

Oh, okay...

Be careful.

All that's left to do now is wait.

You know I'd normally never ask this of you,

but *please*,

have mercy and give me a lift!

My goodness,

how can I refuse after witnessing a display like that?

Just pick yourself up and I'll take you wherever you need to go.

Thank you, Shinomiya! You're a goddess, I mean it!

Yes, that is a very cute plan.

It's possibly the cutest one you've ever made.

But if you end up succeeding, then how am I supposed to get home?

Hm?

On foot, of course.

There's a force in this world called karma,

and if you don't take better care of me, you'll come to know it well.

Is that meant to be some kind of a threat?

You see?

I was kidding.

I called you a taxi as soon as I realized

that he might actually ride home with me...

WHYY-HYY-HYYYY?!

Well,

can't say I didn't see this coming.

If you knew... that this would happen...

then you should've said...

Guess this means neither of us are going to school today.

I'll go make you some porridge.

No, don't...

please, Hayasaka, you've gotta stay with me, okay...?

I'd like this job a lot more if you were always this cute.

Bad news you guys, Shinomiya is sick.

We'll get to the heart-pounding home visit scene later.

Yes,

you can practically do anything with this.

Shirogane got a brand-new battery for his (second-hand, no-warranty) smartphone.

It's priceless!

Bad news you guys, Shinomiya is sick.

So someone has to go drop off her assignments at her house.

Fujiwara Chika Wants To Visit Her

Pick me! I'd be happy to go!

You seem almost too eager.

Because this wouldn't be the first time

I visited her when she was sick.

It's such a remarkable sight to see.

PLUS, YOU SEE:

she acts so cute that it's irresistible!

"Irresistible" how?

President, will you dry my back?

Ahhhh

Like pure adorableness!

And the best part:

it's the one time you can cuddle her and she won't get mad.

I... see...

A hug might make me feel better.

It'd be selfish for one person to hog sick Kaguya to themselves,

so let's all go together.

Umm...

for real?