Silicon Valley

You wish to acquire a company called Sliceline?

I will be taking on a total engineering team

of about 50.

I just have to go back into my office.

Well we thought the best way to introduce the PiperNet

would be through the eight developers.

I have been cooking up a killer new game.

The Gates of Galloo.

We put this thing on PiperNet...

Bam, 80,000 instant users.

Partnering with a company of that size,

this early, would put us months ahead.

Knock 'em dead, Richard.

Whatever you are doing, stop it now.

Um, yeah, we're just high-fiving.

Bye.

You need to make a deal with my companies.

Taking existing companies and just calling them new

isn't sophisticated, that's theft.

So they're manufacturing phones

and signing them onto our network.

Why would they wanna help us?

They're not helping us, they're attacking us.

- It's the 51 percent attack. - I'm sorry, what?

- A 51 percent... - (ICE RATTLES)

We've been exploring the viability

of an acquisition with Amazon.

You expect me to work for Jeff Bezos?

No way.

I happen to know that they fucked you over.

How would you like to fuck them back?

I need you to attack me.

- A second attack. Yes.

Boom, you just got 80,000 new users.

Colin, you did it, you saved us.

Gilfoyle, the patch.

Bombs away.

Oh, my God. These are our new offices?

We're actually right through here.

What do you guys think?

Do you want to see the second floor?

There's another floor? Okay.

Whoa.

I know, it's exciting, right?

Here we are, right here to the left.

I like your tie.

Oh, thank you. I tied it myself.

Oh...

Okay. Well, good luck.

- (crowd murmuring) - (camera shutters snapping)

Mr. Hendricks, thank you for being here.

For the last three hours, we've been asking

some prominent members of your industry

questions about the security of their users' data.

And while the gentlemen from Facebook, Google, and Amazon

have acknowledged some egregious lapses in the past...

And Hooli, sir. Hooli also acknowledged

some spectacular lapses.

Yes.

As I was saying,

these fine folks have been assuring us all that

their oversights are behind them,

and that they are the best people

to protect their users' privacy.

But my colleague, Senator Shizaki

of the great state of Hawaii,

suggested that you might have a different view.

Senator?

Thank you, Chairman Hubbard.

Mr. Hendricks and his company, Pied Piper,

are developing a pilot program to deliver

wireless Internet to my constituents

on the island of Maui.

I have asked him to deliver a statement here today.

Mr. Hendricks?

Yes.

Mr. Hendricks, now would be the time for that statement.

Okay.

I probably should've gotten these out before.

He looks like a child in a custody hearing.

But, like, you don't feel sorry for him.

You just want him to go away

- and not have any parents at all. - (Richard speaking indistinctly)

Hello, I am Richard Hendricks, CEO of Pied Piper.

There you go.

- Eye contact. - I'm proud to tell you

that we are working with Senator Shizaki...

- Good. - On developing the first step

in providing a new type of Internet

to the world. Oh...

- Hold on. - (papers rustling)

Uh, basically,

it-it is a program...

that i-i-it's kinda...

Actually, can I pace? I-I just think better on my feet.

So, a lot of people... (inaudible)

Senator Kleco: Mr. Hendricks!

Speak into the machine!

Oh! Okay.

I'm sorry. Does this come out?

Perfect.

- (whispers): Fuck. - Richard (on TV): Okay, so,

these people up here, right?

You want to rein them in, but you can't.

Uh, Facebook owns 80% of mobile social traffic.

Google owns 92% of search,

and Amazon Web Services

is bigger than their next four competitors combined.

And they will be even more robust

once the Hooli merger is complete.

Richard: Ah, see! Look, there!

Even Hooli can't survive these monopolies.

No one can!

They track our every move,

they monitor every moment in our lives,

and-and they exploit our data for profit.

And you can ask them all the questions you want,

but they're not gonna change, they don't have to.

These companies are kings,

and they rule over kingdoms far larger

than any nation in human history.

They won, we lost.

So, why are you here?

Because look at where we are.

- Yeah? We are in the seat of the US government... - Mr. Hendricks?

I'm okay. I've got it now.

We are in the seat of the US government,

a government that was founded by people

who were, at one point, ruled by kings they couldn't overthrow.

So, what did they do, right? They started over.

They came here, to the New World.

- World 2.0, version 1776. - (murmuring)

And the way we win

is by creating a new,

democratic, decentralized Internet,

one where the behavior of companies like this

will be impossible, forever.

One where it is the users,

not the kings,

who have sovereign control over their data.

This, I promise to you: I will help you end this tyranny

by building an Internet that is

of the people, by the people, and for the people,

so help me God.

- (laughing) - (cheering)

- Dinesh: Yeah! - (applause)

Whoo!

All: Whoa!

No, Mike, I just...

- Huh? There he is! - Uh...

King slayer! How was it?

- Good. I-I... I, um... - You can go.

- I got it... - Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well.

I mean, you saw it, right?

Of course, but I-I-I want to hear

you tell me everything, every detail.

Holden...

The man just got off the plane, give him some space!

Jesus...

Okay, so you touch down at Dulles,

you turn off airplane mode, and then...

Well, actually, we flew through Reagan National.

Reagan? But you love trams.

Well...

See, this is why I should still be handling your travel.

Oh, don't worry about it, Jared, you're busy.

I'm never too busy for you.

- But let's... let's not get caught up in that, right? - Right.

We're here now, and we're walking,

and we're talking.

I mean, take it all in, my friend.

Look at all this.

Can you believe we began our journey way back...

in that little living room

in the hostel?

And just yesterday, you addressed our nation's most

hallowed, powerful legi...

All: Surprise!

Jared: Anyway, like I was saying out there,

we started out in that little hostel, just a couple of kids.

- Richard: Yeah. - Jared: Right?

- And now... - You killed it, Richard!

Way to punch big tech in the dick!

Jared: I was just gonna say,

let's... let's take a moment to let it soak in, right?

- Look what you've built! - Uh-huh.

Okay, I'll let you go now! Enjoy the party!

Your compression algorithm was the stardust!

Hey, Richard! Richard!

Come here.

Stand here.

Congratulations from Team Dinesh!

Yeah.

Congratulations.