Legion

We were always finding things.

Pens. Poetry.

Socks.

The astral plane was like a magnet

for lost dreams.

Minds.

That was the other thing we found.

In the real world, when people lost their minds,

they ended up here.

And who are we, then?

What you got today?

A baby.

A baby?

Wow.

Look at that.

Can I have him?

It's a her, I think, and no.

If you want a baby, you can scavenge one yourself.

"Scavenge." That's... I'm a wolf.

Wolves don't scavenge. We hunt.

You're lucky I don't hunt you.

Well, you live just next door. Wouldn't be hard.

Have you told her about the Holocaust yet?

- The...? What? - Got to tell her.

Prepare her, Oliver.

You can't grow up too fast. That's my motto.

Also, herpes.

Make sure you tell her about herpes, like, right away.

Get away! Go on!

Shoo! Get away! Get away!

Don't forget chlamydia.

Wife.

Husband.

- What did we scavenge today? - Well, half a sandwich,

a very nice sock and, this baby.

Baby.

Well, look at that.

Aren't you adorable.

Let's get you inside.

What should we call her?

The soup?

No, not the soup; The baby.

Her name is Sydney.

How do you know?

She told me.

What else did she say?

Well, nothing. She's a baby.

She looks familiar somehow.

Syd. Sydney.

It's okay.

Everything's okay.

Mama's got you.

Don't.

I won't.

Although, he did blow the paper house down last time.

This house is straw, though... Mighty Straw.

It should hold.

I'll just go and chat with him, shall I?

Hey.

I was just...

This is Cynthia.

I found her wandering alone in the woods.

She's lost her innocence, which is a win for this guy.

Plus, hey, she brought all these dirty needles with her,

so I was thinking... party?

Is that soup?

No.

Hello, Melanie.

- This is Cynthia. - Hi.

She's given up all hope.

Isn't that great?

Look, we're trying to have a nice life here

and raise this baby with wonder and magic,

so we need to keep the real world out.

You guys like magic?

'Cause I can do magic.

It was in my sleeve.

Go away.

Not you, hon.

Come in. Have some soup.

Sorry.

Listen, don't be mad.

We should move.

There we go.

That's perfect.

Yes, that's perfect for...

Why does some music make you happy

but other music make you sad?

That's a good question.

Well, do you know the difference

between a major and a minor chord?

I'm five.

No excuse. I'll show you when we get home.

Why do people use umbrellas in the rain but not the snow?

Quiet now.

Whose stuff is this?

People in the real world.

When they forget about something,

when it stops being important, it comes here.

I'm gonna call her Heady.

Little bird.

Not that way.

Why not?

What is it?

It-it's called the ostrich.

Wait, that's not right.

It's the big bird, isn't it?

No, the city.

It's called the city.

Also known as the real world.

What makes it real?

I'll explain when you're older.

No, now.

That's not the way it works, little bird.

I'm the daddy, and you're the baby,

and I'll tell you about the real world when you're older.

Now, come on. Mommy's making stuffed animal pie.

We don't want to be late.

People think death is scary.

It's pretty scary?

I mean, look at it.

All oozy, and what are those, maggots?

That's just nature.

Kids die, too, you know.

Everybody. Your parents. Ooh.

That's got to be scary, knowing that?

My mom told me that death is just part of life.

She did?

Sydney!

Got to go. Bye.

Wait, wait, wait. Did she tell you about chlamydia?

Tell me a bedtime story.

Once upon a time,

there was a girl

who had the most extraordinary ability.

She could feel everything the animals felt.

When a donkey stubbed its toe, her toe hurt.

Every time a monkey got sad,

she got sad.

It was her special power.

And she called her special power.

"Empathy."

And Empathy was her friend.

They did everything together.

But it's a hard thing for a little girl to share

the feelings of others.

And she started to wonder,

"Where do they...

end and I begin?"

No. No. No.

Cynthia.

Hey.

Do you ever miss your parents?

Your real parents.

Back in the real world.

Wasn't your mom a lush?

I love that word. "Lush."

It sounds so... positive.

Which...

Remember how she used to tuck you in at night

with flecks of vomit in her hair?

I live here now.

With the rivers and trees.

And Kenny?

Do you ever miss Kenny?

Kenny beat me.

Kenny's real sorry, baby.

He wants you to come home real bad.

He love-love-loves you.

I have to go inside.

Hey.

Look what I found.

I don't do that anymore.

Aw... come on.

Sure, you do.

Don't be scared, gorgeous.

You think the light bulb is afraid of the dark?

The light bulb loves the dark.

'Cause in the dark...

it can shine.

Shine for me, baby.

So, that's where babies come from.

And in a couple years, your body will start to change

to be more like Mommy's.

It's the most natural thing in the world.

Any questions?

What's chlamydia?

Where'd you hear that word?

From The Wolf.

Well...

um, you know how, when someone sneezes on you,

you catch a cold?

Well, that's because the cold is a virus,

and the sneeze transfers the virus to you.

And chlamydia is kind of like a cold, except for your vagina.

And, you get it by having unprotected sex with someone

who has that virus.

Does that make sense?

Bodies are weird.

Well, I think the word you're looking for is "beautiful."