Ghosts

-(knock on door) -(door opens)

Isaac. The voting for class president has concluded.

And? Don't keep me waiting, man.

What were the results?

-Well, you: one. -Oh, I won?!

I shall write to Father immediately.

Huzzah! What a day to be Isaac Higgintoot.

-(laughs) -Oh...

Oh, no. Yes, that is my mistake.

I was saying, "You, colon, one."

The number one. O-N-E.

-What? -You received one vote.

Ebenezer Hubbard received the rest.

So, you: one.

Ebenezer Hubbard: all the rest.

Why would you say it like that?

And surely you miscounted.

I must have received two votes.

One cast by myself and the other by you,

my roommate.

It's just that Ebenezer Hubbard was offering more pudding

-in the dining hall. -Oh!

You and your single-issue pudding voting.

You know that's a treat for children?

You have a problem, sir.

I'm sorry. I'm just upset.

You know what makes me feel better when I'm upset?

Don't say pudding.

Oh! Uh, Is it

-smaller than a breadbox? -Yeah.

-(gasps) -Is it a Dane's head again?

Ha! You are most excellent guesser.

Guys, this was so much fun.

I can't believe we've never done a double date before.

Girl, we've done this many times before.

Oh. (laughs) Right on.

What is this? You guys have been going on double dates?

Apparently.

Well, till next time. (sighs)

Why haven't you guys invited me and Bela to these group dates?

We're another couple in the house.

Well... kind of. (chuckles)

You can only see her when you visit her in her dreams.

Yeah, no disrespect, but

you guys are sort of a night couple.

-And we love that for you. -Look,

I know my thing with Bela is unconventional.

I mean, our last date

took place in a hot air balloon floating over Mars.

But our relationship is just as real as anyone else's.

Okay, Sass.

Would, uh, you and Bela like to go on a double date

with me and Pete later? Say, after we smell lunch?

We'd love to. Oh, and let us know if we can bring anything,

because my girlfriend can carry stuff.

Ooh.

Sounds great. We're excited.

-How is this gonna work? -I have no idea.

Yes, I'm sorry, Mrs. Stevens, but we are aware,

and we're working on the hot water issue right now.

You know, a lot of high-end spas offer a cold plunge

that guests actually pay extra for...

And she hung up on me.

As a former penny stock slinger,

I appreciate the attempt to polish that turd.

Well done.

You know, it's great that we're getting more guests

since we got on that boutique hotels list,

but I'm a little worried

about the strain it's putting on the old water heater.

Thor not understand why anyone need hot bath.

Or bath.

Uh, one of my greatest pleasures in life

was indulging in a hot bath. The steam, the solitude,

the pained grunts of my servants as they

lugged the boiling water up three flights of stairs.

Didn't you have some big epiphany last week,

something about a newfound respect for the working man?

Did I? That does sound familiar.

Hello, all. Happy election day.

Oh, that's right. Today's the day

those cretins downstairs choose their nominee

-for ghost representative. Yes.

If I win this, and then later, I best Flower

in the general election, the office is mine. (laughs)

Samantha, what's going on? You're not wearing your button.

Well, I was wearing it, but then guests kept asking

what "Isaac For Ghost Representative" meant,

and I didn't really have a good answer.

What does ghost representative even do again?

Is ghost who speak with Sam on behalf of other ghosts.

Dates back to early days when Sam

gain ability to see ghosts,

but now more of a figurehead position.

Exactly. I've always wanted to be a figurehead.

Oh, I'm so nervous.

I stand on the precipice of my first-ever election victory.

I don't understand how this thing is even close.

Isn't your opponent literally named Creepy Dirk?

Mm, down there, creepiness isn't a liability.

It's just something that makes you relatable.

Hey, babe. Mark and I were just working on the water heater.

Well, Mark was working.

Jay just held the flashlight and screamed, "Aah! Cobweb!"

It's bad news. You're gonna need a new unit.

Yeah, we're gonna need a new unit, babe.

A new water heater?

Samantha, that's not going to go over well in the basement.

They love that water heater.

Are you sure we can't just repair the current unit?

Unfortunately, no. But the good news is

I can get you a new one pretty quick.

Yeah. Yep, we can get it expedited.

-Please stop doing that. -Okay.

Jay, this isn't good.

The basement ghosts are really attached

-to that old water heater. -Why?

It's basically their god.

Why?

Why did the ancients revere Zeus?

Why did I have my foreskin removed

while people gave speeches and ate lox?

The point is,

they love that water heater, and who are we to question it?

Isaac, maybe just don't mention this to the basement ghosts.

They are gonna figure it out

when Mark shows up with a new water heater.

I know, but until then, I don't need them complaining

and trying to talk me out of it.

I don't know, Samantha. I don't feel right

withholding information from those ghouls. I mean, my people.

What if I agree to wear the button?

Deal!

Hey. What are you still doing here?

Oh, uh, since they're so busy,

Sam asked me to stick around

and help out with ghost stuff for a few days.

Thor wanted rams' testicles,

so I'm making Swedish meatballs

and hoping he can't smell the difference.

-Who you talking to? -Sass is here.

Oh, hey, babe.

Loved our balloon ride last night.

We gave those Martians quite a show.

-(chuckles) -Great.

Okay, this is perfect.

Would you mind asking Bela

if she's free to join me

on a double date with Pete and Alberta today?

This isn't something that can wait until Bela takes a nap?

Oh, does Sass want to meet up? I had lasagna for lunch--

ugh, heavy-- so I could see myself falling asleep

within the hour.

Cool. Um, he's actually asking

if you want to double date with Alberta and Pete today.

Like, in a dream?

Oh, no, no, no, like an actual double date

while we're awake. It's not like we're just a night couple.

He's saying an actual date, here, while you're awake.

Okay, fun. But how would that work?

Well, Kyle, this is where you come in.

Oh. No, no.

No, no, I will not be acting as translator

on a ghost double date.

Oh, come on, Kyle, please.

Sass and I have never been on a real date before.

Oh, okay, that is not true.

We've gone on plenty of real dates.

They're just...

Please, Kyle?

It would mean a lot to us.

Okay, fine, fine. I will join

as the fifth wheel on an interdimensional ghost date,

all because I was knocked out by a goose on a roller coaster.

-That's the spirit. Now, do these

look like rams' balls to you?

-Oh, yeah. Awesome.

Love my life. I'll see you later.

Hi. Isaac Higgintoot,

running for ghost representative.

Seriously? It's me, Catherine.

We've been standing next to each other for months.

Oh. (laughs, stammers)

Oh, it's just that you look so different.

Is that a new sack?

It really brings out the jaundice in your cheeks.

Not surprised he doesn't recognize you,

since he spends all his time upstairs

talking to his high-altitude friends.

Ooh, sick burn.

-Ha! Carpetbagger. -No, no, no, no, no.

I am a basement ghost. I'm creepy.

I smell bad. People don't want to be around me.

I'm one of you.

Look, Isaac, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt

when you started this whole thing, but a leopard

doesn't change its spots.

You're upstairs every chance you get.

He was upstairs 15 minutes ago.

You reek of sunlight and circulated air.