Ghosts

Jay, Mark,

I would like to discuss with you

my vision for Mountains of the Valley, the world's

first upscale breastaurant.

I'm confused, Trevor.

I thought you owned the trademark to that name

and you had refused to sell it to him.

Yes, but in the end, Jay couldn't countenance

the alternative name that Tad settled upon:

Boobs and Steaks.

So they asked me to let Tad

have "Mountains of the Valley,"

-and here we are. And how are we coming

with the menu, Jay? You got my email about the lamb?

Yeah, I did.

Tad, it's just, you know,

the individual chops are kind of my signature.

Yeah, got to be a rack, otherwise it won't make sense

when the servers ask

if anyone would like to see their huge rack.

Well, it's hard to argue with that, Tad.

And what exactly are jalapeño knockers?

That's for Jay to figure out.

But they're on the menu.

Gabe, we have to find a way to save Mahesh.

We can't let our restaurant turn into this.

Okay, guys, I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah, this is hell.

Who is that?

Nikki, the new barkeep.

She looks...

very qualified.

Are you talking about those strong muddling hands?

Yeah, I noticed that, too.

Calluses for days, am I right?

Oh, yeah. No mint is safe.

What do you mean, you're moving out?

I know this comes as a shock.

When I moved to the basement, I considered it

a permanent and authentic decision.

But what can I say? My friends miss me.

Spare us, Isaac.

You moved down here so you could run for ghost representative

as a basement dweller.

Now you don't need us,

so you're out of here. Fine.

Take your carpet and put it in your bag

-and shove it. -Oh.

Well, this is emotional for all of us. Hmm?

I, for one, will remember each and every one of you fondly.

I'm back. (laughs) I'm free of those freaks.

Oh, do you smell that?

-I don't smell anything. -Precisely.

Oh, it's good to be home.

Welcome back, Isaac.

Hey,

uh, Tad? I just wanted to talk to you about something.

Oh, I'm glad you're here.

What if instead of small, medium and large,

we offered our drinks

in a B cup, C cup and D cup?

I think this guy might be a genius.

Tad, are you sure that this rebrand

is the best thing for the business?

It's just, Mahesh is very precious to Jay.

I mean, he named it after his dad.

I named the main character after my dad

in my classic noir film Jimmy The Deadbeat.

-He must have been very touched. -(phone chimes)

Sons of bitches. Sorry, sorry.

City council is voting tomorrow

to officially remove me from office.

Oh, I thought that already happened.

Effectively, yeah. It's just a formality.

But if the vote goes your way tomorrow,

you could be mayor again?

Never gonna happen. Councilman Gus Heyward,

my nemesis,

is the deciding vote,

so unless he has a miraculous change of heart,

I'm afraid you guys are stuck with me.

I always wanted to have a nemesis.

Well, what about your friend who was sleeping

with your wife for all those years?

Oh, yeah. I guess I do have one.

-(chuckles) Hang on,

if Gus did change his mind and reinstate you,

is that something you'd be interested in?

Yeah, of course.

Public service is my passion.

I just want to help people and make the world better.

Hey, Tad, the tank tops came in but

they're not bedazzled like you wanted.

Seriously?

I spent 20 minutes on the phone with that guy.

I sent him multiple sketches.

Sorry, excuse me.

This is interesting.

Sam, it seems like if you can get Tad

his mayorship back, he'll drop the whole restaurant idea.

Whoa, ho, let's just take a beat.

What about Nikki? She just got this job.

Is anybody thinking about her?

'Cause I'm thinking about her.

I'm... I'm thinking about her quite a bit.

We got to talk to this councilman,

see if we can change his mind.

Now, hold your horses. You want to flip a politician,

-you're gonna need some leverage. -What do you mean?

I'm talking about dirt.

Who is this guy? What's he hiding?

Everybody has something they don't want someone

-to know. -Like my unpermitted deck.

I mean, I would've done just about anything

to keep that from coming out.

The stairs weren't even to code, God forgive me.

That makes a lot of sense, Joan.

I'm gonna go do some digging on this councilman,

see if we can find anything useful.

It's like she doesn't care about Nikki at all.

Heartless.

Isaac!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just can't seem to fall asleep.

Perhaps I'm out of practice sleeping lying down.

In the basement, we sleep standing up.

Like cattle. Or horses.

Also, giraffes. Which, as I understand them,

are kind of like tall, orange donkeys.

Look, I've got a big day tomorrow.

The new People magazine is arriving,

and I'm hoping for a Chalamet cover.

Oh. Wait, what happened to Momoa?

Oh, hunks are over. It's all about hot rodent men now.

"Hot rodent men."

Okay, good night.

I swear to God.

Oh, God, this takes me back,

digging up dirt on a bigwig.

A politician with a dark past.

Classic noir stuff.

This guy's a saint. Councilman Gus Heyward

volunteers at church,

fundraises for the Salvation Army,

fosters disabled dogs.

Boom. I got a parking ticket in 1996.

Is that anything?

Not exactly a dead hooker, but it's a start.

Happy blackmailing, everyone. How's it going?

We've got bubkes.

This guy's cleaner than Orson Welles' plate

after a steak dinner at Musso's.

She has a way with words.

I don't know what any of them mean,

but I like how she says 'em.

Wait, is that the guy?

-That's Gus? Yeah.

-Why? -Because I've seen him before.

And if we need dirt,

oh, boy, I got a whole truckload.

Enough to get the mayor his job back?

And then some.

Oh! I got a second parking ticket.

A pattern emerges.

Just tell us, Pete. What do you have on Gus

that would be so damning that he would have

to reinstate Tad as the mayor?

Well, I will tell you

right after a patented Martino drumroll.

-I saw him in an orgy. -Oh.

-What? -You remember months ago

when we snuck into the Farnsbys' media room

to move that bookshelf so that Thor

could watch his son get married?

We do have fun.

Yes, I remember. I jumped out the window

and I ran home to cancel our Ever Creek water subscription.

Well, after you left, you'll recall Jay was stuck in a closet

while your friends, who were renting the Farnsbys' home,

put on a DVD of what they thought was the movie Swingers.

But it turned out to be a sex tape

of people who actually were swingers.

Bingo,

a septuagenarian orgy, one of the stars of which

was our friend Gus right here.

-Oh. -Oh.

Jay, Gus was in that amateur porn video you heard

in the Farnsbys' closet.

Oh, God.

That haunting knee clicking? That was Gus's.

A click, a clack, a romp in the sack.

She can really sell some gibberish.

But, babe, none of this is good to us

unless we can get some hard evidence,

no pun intended.

Yes.

My guy's not afraid to go blue.

Well, we better get that tape.

Or we could accept that Mahesh had a good run,

and Nikki gets to keep her job.