Touchy Feely

All right, I'm going to spray some rose water, okay?

Take a deep breath.

Okay, take your time getting up.

I'll be outside with some water, okay?

Thank you.

Um, Abby?

Will you marry me?

The upstairs toilet is acting funny.

What?

Upstairs toilet is acting funny.

Mm.

Have you noticed?

No, I guess I haven't really noticed.

It was making a running sound,

like, even--

even when it wasn't...

- Okay. - ...just when it was not in use.

And then it would stop.

Okay, well, did you look in the back?

Like, did you look in the tank of the toilet?

Mm-mm.

Sometimes the chain just falls off.

And you just reattach it.

Is there-- is there anything that--

No, no, everything is--

everything's under control.

Okay, then.

I'll get it.

- Hey, Paul. - Hey.

Good to see you.

Yeah, I beat my record by, like, two minutes.

- Oh. - Uh...

Aw, man.

Is everybody in the kitchen?

Are you out of your mind?

A calzone is not the same as a Hot Pocket.

Okay, what's the difference, then?

- There's a huge difference. - Okay, what's the difference?

Okay, you've got your tomato-based filling

and you've got your pastry-based outer shell.

Hold on, have you ever even had a calzone?

Yes, I've had a calzone.

I got a pizza and I flipped it over and I called it a calzone.

You know what we're gonna do? I am going to make you a calzone.

- Okay. - And you're gonna eat it

and then I'm gonna prove you wrong and you're gonna owe me.

Okay, deal.

What do you owe me?

- I don't know. - What's he gonna owe me?

What should I owe her?

I don't know.

How about-- how about a beer?

Okay.

I'll get it.

And if it turns out to be like a DiGiorno's Pizza

that's just folded over and thrown in the oven,

what do I get out of it?

Well, I mean, regardless, you're gonna get

a delicious homemade treat, so...

- What? The calzone? - Yeah.

- That's the treat? - That's the treat.

Oh, God. Okay. And what happens if I don't like it?

Then what do I get out of it?

Nothing.

That's just-- that's just not possible.

A homemade treat.

Time's up!

- Hi, babe. - Hi.

Mmm!

- Mmm, that smells good. - Brought wine.

- Hi, baby. - Just put it here.

I remembered the salad dressing.

Why didn't you make the one that you make?

- The one-- - I didn't have any time.

The one that you make is so good.

Just tell me next time and I'll make it.

Well, then you would know my secret recipe.

Oh, oh, I didn't realize.

Mmm, the stew smells amazing. What is that?

- Is it cinnamon? - Will you take this?

- What is that? - Beef. Beef stew.

I know, but what's that smell? Clove?

It's just beef.

So, did you get them in?

The applications?

I didn't send them.

Are you serious?

Yeah, I'm serious.

What the fuck? Why?

What the fuck? Give me a break.

What do you mean, give you a break?

Why didn't you send them?

It's, like, a really bad time.

- It's a great time. - No, it's not a great time.

Why?

We can barely pay Susan, okay.

What does that mean?

What do you mean, what does it mean?

It means that we haven't had a new client

in forever and all of Grandpa's clients are dying off.

Yeah, and that's not your problem.

Yeah, well, that's really easy for you to say.

Yeah, it is easy for me to say.

And it's easy for you to say, too.

You don't get it.

Look, I love you.

It's your life.

It's your life.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Should I cook these tomatoes or does it matter?

Doesn't matter.

Dad, will you get the corn bread?

- Hey. - Hey.

Mmm.

Do you think this is such a hot idea?

Yeah. I think it's an incredibly hot idea.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

You look wan.

- Wan? - Mm-hmm.

Are you sleeping? You've got bags.

- You're all puffy. - Yeah, I'm sleeping.

I think he looks okay.

I should have Bronwyn make an elixir for him.

Mm-hmm.

I have a friend who makes these incredible energy tonics

that stimulate everything--

your liver, your gallbladder, your kidneys--

I don't think that elixirs are Dad's thing.

Well, maybe not--

What does it taste like?

- It tastes like shit. - Garbage.

But so good for you.

Cleansing, healing.

Bronwyn's amazing.

She did Reiki on me last month. It was incredible.

- Right? - Mm-hmm.

You should get Reiki done.

- Paul, you would love Reiki. - Mm-hmm.

What's Reiki? What-- what is it?

- It's energy work, essentially. - Energy work.

Helps you release emotional blockages and clear out pathways

and just makes you feel awesome in general.

Okay.

Paul, how's the practice doing?

- Great. - Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Business is booming?

Yeah, we're trucking along and...

Good, awesome.

How's the apartment search going?

- Did-- - Good.

- It's-- - You found something?

Not yet, but I have a few leads.

You have to be out by the first.

I know, I know, I know.

Well, why don't you just move in with me?

I mean, you're at my house every night.

- Well, it's not every night. - Just about every night.

I mean, rent's really high right now, you know.

I mean, it just makes sense.

Or...

you could move in here until...

you find a place that's suitable.

There's plenty of room.

The door is always open to you.

Thank you, brother.

That is a very generous offer, Paul.

- Um... - Thank you.

I mean, it makes sense, right?

That's what I'm saying.

- Right? - Yeah.

I mean, you're going to regret it, though,

because I'm a complete and utter slob.

Like I already don't know that.

I know, but once all my stuff is there...

- All right. - So you'll move in.

- Yeah. - That's great.

And you guys can have dinner at our house.

Here we go. Tap, tap, tap.

Hold closed and grind side to side for me.

Perfect. And let's get our front.

Tap, tap, tap. One, two, three.

Hold it closed. Grind side to side.

Perfect.

All right.

Mirror.

All right, Mrs. Elvsted, let's just take a look

and see what we've got here.

Uh-huh. Okay.

Okay, Mrs. Elvsted, so be sure to floss.

We'll see you next time.

Who's next?

Um, no one today.

Mrs. Koppleson canceled.

Dad?

Yeah?

I was thinking, um...

I think we need some new blood.

We could advertise.

That's too expensive.