Slim Susie (Smala Sussie)

It wasn't me. I didn't do it.

Please! I can explain everything. It wasn't me.

I've got to start at the beginning for you to understand.

Okay. It began in Stockholm yesterday morning.

Open up!

I'm an independent publisher.

I've only really published one book, so far.

Which I wrote myself.

- Erik Svärd Publishing. - Hi, it's Sandra from home.

With the red hair, except it's black now. Slim Sussie's gone.

She's been gone a week. You haven't heard from her?

Slim Sussie is my little sister back home. She's very proper.

Writes Christmas cards in September. Very uptight.

Stupid fucking pencil!

What was she like when you last saw her?

Well, she was...

- Go on. - I hitchhiked home to find her.

Nothing had changed in three years.

When I left three years ago, the kiosk girl was knocked up.

Things do go slowly in the country.

I knew my sister had moved, but it was only 200 yards.

I had to leave her behind. I couldn't take it.

The last straw came on a Sunday, at the weekly movie.

The movies came just about when they were released on video.

But with a lot more scratches.

Yeah, the movie ran out. They forgot the last reel. Which sucks.

But I'll try to sort it out.

Hi, it's me. Fine, and you?

You've seen Pulp Fiction, right?

So, how does it end? Oh, really?

That seems confusing. What happens to the colored guy?

Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but...

John Travolta dies coming out of the bathroom.

- He does? - Bruce Willis shoots him.

- The colored guy does fine. - Good.

It's not my fault. It's Stockholm's.

But now you can do things at home.

You can rake leaves, or something. Thanks, bye.

- Where are you going? - Where they don't show half a movie.

- Stockholm. - Do I take care of Mom alone?

- I want to go too. - It's too dangerous.

It's full of junkies who jab people with syringes just for fun.

- It's too rough for you. - It's rough here, too.

I'll die if you move! You asshole.

Sussie!

I can't come to the baptism.

My VCR is busted and there's a game on.

Is my sister home?

Tore Tumor. Known for the tumor he used to have in his head.

After the operation he couldn't speak. Which caused problems.

Like when he got his pension papers in the mail.

He didn't understand the numbers.

Just lots of zeros everywhere. Tore thought that was unfair.

That's Tore for you.

Had a kid

That means we're family now, Tore.

My sister wasn't the mother.

She didn't even live in the apartment, but next door.

Shut up! Baby sleeping

I figured mom might know something about Sussie.

It seemed likely, at least.

Erik! How nice! Do you want cookies?

You! Don't stand there sneering. Think you're some big shot.

Just because you have a company.

My son runs a company in Stockholm. And yours?

Do you know where Sussie is?

She didn't know. She was busy with her booze.

See my gorgeous daughter. I signed her up for the Miss Motor pageant.

She's going to win.

Mick Thirteen.

The most inept petty thief in the county.

Or just very unlucky, I don't know.

Like the time he got out of jail

and found out that he'd inherited 100 grand.

And the wrong car stopped. A stock broker.

Third generation networks are a good bet.

But for blue chips, telecom is the thing to go for.

Really? Telecom?

Grits' answering service.

You're in line. We'll take your call later, or you can leave a message.

- Who was it? - Some guy.

Not Billy? He's so easily riled. You're not filming, are you?

No, no, no.

- Hiss it: "I'm sixteen". - I'm sixteen.

Now, try fourteen.

Are there no normal people here?

There's lots of normal people. Everywhere.

There's not much to tell about them.

Gunnar, set the alarm 15 minutes early so I can blow dry my hair.

Good night.

The only thing with these two is that he's jealous.

So, he's sewn shrimp into her pants.

You set it to 15 minutes earlier, right?

It's important, to give me time to blow dry my hair.

There's one thing I can tell about her.

Can you hear what I'm saying? No? Good.

I just need to talk.

No one listens to what I have to say.

It's just too nerve-wracking. There's so much noise.

I need silence.

When you're in the womb, before you're born, it's all quiet.

And when you die, I suppose it's quiet too.

Between the two, it's just noisy and I can't take that.

That's all I wanted to say. Thank you.

I tried to find Sandra, the girl who'd called.

All I knew was that she was cute and had some last name.

Not a lot of information, really.

I was sad that my pizza "Erik's Extra Everything" was gone.

- Hi, Erik. - Hi.

It's me, Sussie's friend Sandra with the piercing and red hair.

- Except I took it out and went black. - Hi.

It had been foretold that Sandra's love would be a latino man.

She was supposed to meet him in an elevator.

But the fortune-teller hadn't said which elevator.

There's two of them in town. Elevators, that is.

Can I get something on tab? A calzone and a schnapps?

Erik, isn't it fucking odd that no one's seen Sussie for a week?

No one's seen her since she paid her tab on Sunday.

Tab? Sussie was never in debt.

- She kept a household budget. - She used to, but not now.

She ate the same pizza, morning, noon and night for three months.

- Pizza? She was such a health freak. - Health freak?

So, what do the police say?

Well, I guess you can say... Didn't you use to have red hair?

Billy Davidson, the sole cop in town.

A Stockholm native sent here against his will.

Well, I guess you can say...

Could you get rid of that fly there? It just looks disgusting.

I guess you can say that these things happen.

Things disappear. People disappear.

- Maybe she walked the dog? - She doesn't have a dog.

How would I know? Dogs get borrowed, people dog-sit.

Yeah...

You shouldn't offend me. We should avoid offence in this town.

Can't you tell what it's like? Paper, paper, paper.

I'm choking on paperwork. Break-in, nursing home medicine cabinet.

Naked man in the supermarket. Moose hunting in town.

See? I'm drowning in paperwork.

But I do get some tip-offs.

Ever heard of Keyser Soze and Tony Montana?

- No... - Nope.

They're not mentioned in any police files.

How far do these reach? 100 yards? I have no one to talk to anyway.

It's 40 miles to the nearest... And look at this.

Four minutes of talk time, then the battery goes.

And it takes two days to charge the fucker.

I'm ashamed. I sit here in shame. That's how it is.

That's my lot, to sit here in shame.

Sussie wouldn't just go. She's damned reliable.

She's not the Sussie you think. She'd never have dated Grits.

- Grits? - Yeah.

But it was a mess. She was in love with someone else.

Erik?

Grits and I went to school together. We did a lot.

Collected Star Wars figures, put rocks on the tracks-

- rented movies and opened our first beer together,

But he also ran into the driving instructors car-

- when he was getting his bike license.

Erik! Good to see you. We're making a movie. Come in.

Hey, Grits. Are you and Sussie...

No one cleans up around here. That just sucks. Have a beer.

- Beer smells great. - Who are these guys?

Good guys, working class. Not that they have jobs.

So, just good guys. We've had a two-day Scarface conference.

That's why they're wasted. We did all the lines.

We tried to email the guy who made the movie, which was hard.

The connection just sucks.

Shoot! Shoot me. Yeah, there you go.

Grits really loves movies.

We've made 50 movies together. 2,5 minutes, no sound.

"Deadly Murder" was probably the best one.

THE END

It was not that bad.

- Morning beer smell rules. - Why am I filming?

For a documentary about me, to leave something behind.

I'll die one day, like everyone does.

- Are you working? - Don't have the time. Sit down.

Don't you want this one?

Yeah, it's Grits.

Right. Yeah.

Hey, what are you on? Can you get me some?

- Screw that. - Who was that?

- No clue. - So, are you dating Sussie?

Damn it, the laundry.

Nope, never dated Slim Sussie. Not that I noticed.

- Cut it out! Yes or no? - Naw. She'd sleep here sometimes.

She'd bring a pillow. I never touched her, not someone's little sister.

I swear. Haven't seen her for a while.

- She's disappeared. - Well, that explains it.

What was she like last time you saw her?

- Drunk and unhappy. - Why?

- Too much to drink, I guess. - Cut it out! I'm worried!

Why was she unhappy?

It happened at the opening of the sports hall.

The Chimp from Electric Banana Band was there.

After the opening he split, and left her alone.

Screwed up with love and memories.

For a while she thought was pregnant by him, but she wasn't.

It was probably just the pizza.

Sandra! If anything happens to me, look in the drain pipes.