Community

Before we start,

I'd like to have a preliminary powwow,

Or prelimi-wow, about what I'm calling

Our library's backdoor conundrum.

Sounds like a porno with kate winslet.

Abed, ew.

The door on that side is locked after 5:00,

Which means that most of us have to walk all the way around.

Now, if we were to move our meetings to 4:30--

- No. - No.

I have a regular class at that time.

It's like math or other regular classes.

I have something unimportant that can't ever move.

Well, maybe one of us could stand by the back door

And let the rest in?

- I nominate pierce. - Where is he?

I have not seen him around all day.

I haven't either.

- Well, has anyone called him? - I did.

Several times, actually, but he never returned my calls.

Oh, no!

Oh, the last thing I said to him was "suck it."

- Me too. - Good morning.

- Oh! - Yes!

Thank god.

You thought I was dead, didn't you?

- All: No... - I did.

You people have any idea how emasculating that is?

I'm not mickey rooney.

You don't have to cross your fingers to see if I'll show up.

You know, when I was 30,

People used to wish that I was dead to my face!

That's called respect.

Who is the lucky brunette?

Last name beeswax, first name none-a-ya.

Oh, my third wife was biracial.

- Stop it! - I am just trying to help

Keep you out of troubl e- what if the next girl saw these?

Well, then she would know it was hers.

- - - jeff!

You're sleeping with a woman you already slept with?

Can't I be the friend in the group

Whose trademark is his wel l-defined boundaries,

Like privacy smurf, discreet bear or...

Confidentiality spice?

But if you like her,

Why would you want to keep her a secret?

Don't you want us to meet her?

We have an agreement to keep it low-key.

That's ridiculous. Obviously, it's a guy.

You're wrong, pierce. It's two guys.

Sometimes I do wish you were dead.

thank you.

What's up, bro?

boo!

Hey, what's up, j-dog?

Woof, woof, woof, woof!

Yeah!

How you doing?

* we're too gangsta for tv *

* that's why you don't see us *

* but they still wanna be us *

* *

Sorry I'm late.

* *

Professor slater, quick question.

You know the answer, mr. Winger.

I don't date students,

Even if you are no longer in my statistics class.

I'm actually kind of seeing someone right now,

- Thank you very much. - Really? How's that going?

Fine for now. She's smart and pretty.

But sometimes I feel like she's just waiting for me

To stop talking and take off my pants.

She is.

I've never been someone's dirty little secret.

I've never had a dirty little secret.

It's so unprofessional.

But the sneaking does make the sex 38% hotter.

Wow, you do like statistics, don't you?

Hey, midterms and whatever.

Chalk.

Professor slater, there's that transcript you wanted.

Jeff, I didn't expect to see you here.

Hopefully, I'm not... Interrupting.

You know, we laugh... But the fact is,

Student/teacher relationships do happen,

And they are a magnet for lawsuits.

So we do stay vigilant.

In fact, physically attractive students and faculty

Are actually placed on a watch list

And are ranked by their potential

To incite fraternization.

You rank people by how hot they are?

You got it... Number two.

- Dean pelton. - Yes, professor seven--

- Uh, slater. - I'll return this tomorrow.

Okay, then.

You guys be extra careful now.

Two people of your rankings in this small a room...

With this type of lighting and his upper body

And what her heels and hemline are doing

To enhance what were already quite a few favors from god--

It's all the more important to keep it tasteful.

- I think he might have ruined-- - it's dead.

* *

Oh, I can't wait for the recital.

You are all wonderful, especially you, troy.

Thank you, madame leclair.

And if any of you mention my dancing outside of class,

I will break off your legs

And use them to smash in your friends' cars.

- Oh! - Huh!

Oh, my god!

Troy, since when have you taken modern dance?

Since last semester.

Coach told me it would help with my coordination,

And I fell in love with it, in a very straight way.

I know it's tempting to sneak a peek,

But I'm gonna need for you to keep your eyes up here!

God, I should have never dismissed you as a shallow jock.

Then again, we haven't really spent that much time together.

That's because you don't play football

Or have fun.

- I have fun tap -dancing.

I started last semester too.

It was always something that I wanted to do,

But it was too embarrassing, so I never told anyone.

Same here. Britta...

- Nobody can know about this. - Troy, who are we kidding?

Look at how much time and energy we're putting

Into hiding something that we're passionate about.

We are leading a double life.

I am spending a lot of money on breakaway clothing.

We should look at this as an opportunity to come clean.

Are you saying we tell the group, together?

We could invite them to the dance recital on Friday.

man, I don't know.

Let me think about it.

Okay, let's do this.

- Ahem! - Sorry.

Mr. Winger. Would you come to my office?

We never finished our intercourse.

I have study group right now,

And nobody uses intercourse to mean anything other than sex.

- - - this is a wall of windows.

My study group's behind it.

I know.

As soon as we touch, the blinds will open,

And six annoying but loveable misfits

Will be staring at us.

come on, what are the odds?

Fine.

- Now, was that so bad? - Mm-mm.

hey!

Could you open the back door?

You all remember michelle slater,

My professor from last semester?

As most of you may realize by now,

She's the woman I've been seeing lately.

Why are they looking at me like I'm a zoo animal?

Well, jeff acts as sort of the dad of the group,

So emotionally this is kind of like being told

That you're our new mom.

But you know it's nothing like that, right?

Absolutely. Do you cook macaroni?

- I have. - Macaroni's my favorite.

The important thing is we all understand

Professor slater and I need this to be our little secret.

Everyone understand that?

- Yeah. - Yes. I do like macaroni.

- - - sure.

See? All good.

Well, thank you, everyone. I appreciate it.

I should get going.

- Ooh! - Ooh...

- Bye. - Bye.

Well, jeff,

You've taken a big step in knocking down the barriers

Between students and teachers...

- Just like rosa parks. - I don't think it's like that.

No, it's just like that.

I feel if you need to explain it,

It's not just like that.

Is your heart gonna be okay with this?

I will try to find the tools to survive.

Okay.

Hey, everybody, speaking of secrets,

Troy and I have something that we would like to announce.

- oh! - No. No.

There's a dance recital on Friday,

And I would be honored if you guys would attend,

Because since last semester, I...

Have been taking a tap class.

- That's...F -funny.

i>- Well, I don't know how funny it is.

Come on... We're not making fun of you.

But obviously, you kept it a secret

- Because you saw the irony too. - Irony?

Well, you're not a typically vulnerable or feminine person,