Shaolin Soccer (Siu lam juk kau / 少林足球) (少林足球)

Welcome back, to the 1983 Super Cup Final!

And what a game it's been! It all comes down to this final shot.

And the team's fate rests on the shoulders of the man the fans call "Goldenleg".

And if Goldenleg misses here, they go home empty-handed.

He's missed the goal!

That one wasn't even close!

This must be heartbreaking for Goldenleg.

I can't believe he missed it!

They're going crazy in the stands.

Folks, this is mayhem out here.

And it's become an absolute mob.

Oh, we've got to get those players off the field! This is dangerous!

Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong!

Ever since Fung got his Goldenleg broken, you've been number one.

First as a player, then as a coach.

I'm better than Fung ever was.

Team Evil has won the Super Cup the last five years.

What's your secret?

There's no secret.

They just have the best coach, that's all.

Goldenleg, is that you?

Hey, Hong!

Good morning!

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hong, your shoe's dirty.

Let me clean it for you.

Yeah, that's all right, Fung.

I'll do it.

Hong, I'll get the car.

Hong, you said if I worked hard, I could coach a team, huh?

I'm ready! I know I can do it!

I think I can train a team to be as good as Team Evil.

You think I'd let you coach for me?

I'm a professional.

- But you said... you promised... - Get real, Fong.

You're just a pitiful joke, my friend.

Look... Take a good look at yourself.

This tattoo's all that's left of your fame.

Hong, I've worked for you for 20 years. How can you say that to me?

Let's just be honest about it. You're not the man you once were.

You were a great player, okay? But now, you're nothing but a clown.

I've had enough, okay?

I kept you here 20 years.

So now it's time for you to take care of yourself.

FONG!

You really have got nerve!

If you hadn't talked me into missing that kick...

you'd be the one working for me right now!

You're the one who told me to throw that game!

Did I?

Say it again, even louder. Hey, you didn't hear anything!

You want to tell the reporters?

Speak to them if you want.

You think they'd listen to you? You think they'd believe anything you've said?

Now get lost.

Oh, there is one more thing.

You know that mob that broke your leg? I paid them to break it.

Heh... Yuppies...

That's no way to kick.

What do you mean by that?

What I said was, that's no way to kick.

I suppose you could do better.

There must be fusion.

Fusion of mind and body.

What kind of fusion would that be?

I learned it from my idol.

That's Bruce Lee, of course. He invented the ultimate kick.

I saw it in the movies and then dedicated my life to it.

If you're interested, I can teach you all about it.

I'll give you Kung Fu lessons.

Here's my business card.

Kung fu, Shaolin school, Mighty Steel Leg.

That's you, huh, man, right?

It's true. Look at this technique.

I don't need fancy stuff like Kung Fu.

I'm more of a philosopher, you know.

Oh, yeah?

Look at that girl.

Yeah, so she's kind of pretty.

- She looks sexy, so... - Wait, wait, wait.

Just look at this. Look, look, look, look, look.

Look!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Now, if she knew Kung Fu, that positively would never have happened.

Shaolin Kung Fu will train you to catch yourself when you fall.

Kung fu can work for everyone. See?

Excuse me, would you like to learn some Kung Fu?

You crazy!

Look over there.

If she'd study Shaolin Kung Fu Iron Hand technique, parking would be much easier.

It's all part of the training.

That guy up there?

Hey, hey, what are you doing?

You're way too slow at this.

Come on, let's go, let's go. That's it. Go on. Go on.

You're fired!

If he knew the Kung Fu method known as Flying Sword , he'd still have that job.

Flying Sword is not from Shaolin.

It's judo.

Shaolin is the source of all martial arts.

Kung Fu is not just a martial art for fighting.

Everyone has that idea, and it's totally wrong.

It transcends ordinary art.

It's a complete way of life.

That's why I want to show everyone how true Kung Fu can improve their lives.

It means never giving up.

I'll find a way to show everyone.

You'll see.

All right, that's enough.

But I'm not finished.

I got important things to do.

I'm sure you could explain all day, but I've heard enough.

This is a great opportunity, but you're letting your handicap stop you.

What handicap?

Who you calling handicap?

This leg is kicked hundreds of calls.

I'm sorry.

You know who you're speaking to?

Look at me.

I'm the famous Golden Leg.

You.

You're just a bum.

Bah...

Bah...

So what?

Hey! Hey what are these cans doing here?

This isn't a junkyard.

Right, right, right, right.

Get them out of here quick.

Cheap tricks.

Hey, you. Move along. Move along!

Little jerk.

Excuse me, would you help me get this up there? I could use a hand.

Whoa, how do you kick like that?

- Twenty cents. - Only twenty?

- Maybe I could get an advance. - Nah, that's it.

Go on now.

You got plenty for this.

Hey Mui! Ten steamed buns, OK?

Tai Chi Kung Fu used to make steamed buns.

What a pretty notion.

Build a pot from heaven with sweet bun.

Fantastic when done.

You're a Kung Fu master, I can see.

And your homemade treats look so tasty.

What are you doing?

I sing to express my great esteem for a Kung Fu master

because you are truly inspiring.

Wow, so beautiful.

Don't make jokes. I'm not beautiful.

Your buns are so beautiful.

Wow, so sweet.

Was that Shifting Bodies and Transposing Shadows ?

No, that wouldn't work.

It's Move A Thousand Cattle With Four Tails.

Oh!

So that's how you got it so tender, but also so firm.

The buns are sixty cents each. Two for a dollar.

That much, really?

Yes.

Well, they're worth every penny, of course.

But this is all I have right now.

Can I pay up tomorrow?

No.

Ho!

Spoken with the greats of a true Kung Fu master.

I am a Kung Fu master myself.

Can I pay tomorrow?

No.

Ho!

Okay, here's the deal.

I'll just have one more bun and you can keep the shoes, alright?

No.

Ho!

Come on. Give me a break. I really like you.

You are so beautiful.

That's why I sing for you.

Hey!

Don't. Stop it.

Come on, shut up!

Just pay for the buns and go on.

If you want to sing, do what that guy does.

Sing on the subway for quarters.

Oh, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

This gentleman's song is creative and sincere.

He's just expressing his heartfelt thoughts and his deepest feelings.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I am also overwhelmed by the impulse to break into song.

When I'm inspired I must unleash it, or else I will...

explode.

Ho!

Have you lost your minds or what?

Stand up straight! Put your arms down! Get to work!

You people are demented!

Get back to reality! Now!

I never should have gone for a facial.

What was I thinking, leaving you in charge? You are so timid, you are worthless.

You can't do anything.