Parenthood

He's back.

So your mom said you wanted to know about your old man.

You know what, let's start with you.

- Are you married? - No.

Hmm. Okay. You seeing anyone?

- Mm. Mm-mmm. - Hmm. Keeping it loose.

I got you.

You know, if you're having trouble

meeting ladies, it could be your car.

- What kind of car do you drive? - I don't have a car.

You don't--hmm. You have your license, right?

- License? - Um...

Those were my three kid jokes. I'm all out of material.

Well, um... oh, there's Mom.

Hi, Mom. It's going great.

This is fun though. You like pancakes?

No. I like waffles better.

Okay, let's move it, people. Come on.

I have a meeting. Please.

Dad said he could've tooken me.

Oh, sweetie, I want to drive you, all right?

We're bonding. What the fudge!

- Mom! - Fudge! Fudge, sweetie.

- Oh, my gosh. - Come on, sweetheart.

Oh, yeah. Please, by all means take your time.

Go for it. I only have a meeting with a Supreme Court Judge so...

Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah, make sure she has her lunchbox. Great.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you kidding me?

- No. - Mommy.

- No. - Who are you talking to?

Sweetie, you can learn from this.

This is a bad person.

We live in a nation of laws,

and when someone doesn't follow those laws,

society breaks down.

This is so great. So special.

It's your first day... in the new place.

And it's just... gonna be...

all brand-new and different than the...

- Mom... - What are you doing?

I don't know. It was something I was trying.

- No? - Mm-mmm.

All right. Good-bye. I love you. Okay.

You can be the best! I believe in you.

Just be you!

Let's go. Let's hit it.

- Hey, did you brush your teeth? - Hey, Max.

- Think he did. - Max.

- Max, we had a deal, remember? - Okay. Okay.

Regular clothes to school, but the pirate costume at home.

- I changed my mind. - Well, I didn't, okay?

- Mom said. - Honey, I'm sorry.

- "Mom said." - We don't have time to change. Okay?

I'm--he was sad.

Well, he can't keep going to school like that, okay?

Kids are going to think he's a freak.

How's he gonna make any friends?

Now, I knew kids like that when I was at school.

Once you're a freak, you're always a freak.

I get it. Believe me. I know.

I deal with this every single day, okay?

I've tried bribing him, pleading with him,

The bugs, buying him bugs, and cookies and food.

- I'm sorry. - Okay.

Okay? I just want to get him out of that thing.

- That's all. - I do too.

- All right. I love you. - I love you too.

Oh, wait, honey, you know, maybe the Lessings...

they'll have some ideas.

Oh, God. The Lessings? Is that tonight?

Yeah, it's tonight. I told you yesterday.

They're really good people. They have a son with Asperger's.

- Well, it's not dinner, is it? - No.

Remember that time we went over there

- and they made dinner? - Yeah.

They didn't preheat the oven until we'd been there

for three and a half hours. It was unconscionable.

I felt like I was being held captive.

- I can't go through that again. - Honey, say good-bye.

- Good-bye. - To your son.

I know. Good-bye, buddy. I love you.

I love you so much, babe. See you.

I love you too.

Hey, you know, we don't even know for sure

that he has Asperger's.

- I know. - He's not the Lessing kid.

I know.

That was terrific.

So...

It's been a while, Crosby.

Yeah. Like, uh, five years and nine months a while.

I guess.

Hey, I-I hate to ask you this, but, um, you're sure

that he's mine, yeah?

Yeah. I'm--I'm pretty sure.

You didn't have, like, relations with anyone else

during that same period?

- He's yours. - Okay.

Well, hey, if you guys are in town again,

you know, we should do this again.

Well, um...

actually, we moved back.

- You--really? - Yeah.

- Really? - Yeah.

'cause in your e-mail,

you said that you were just coming to town,

not that you had moved back...

with my kid.

Maybe you don't remember that I called you...

many times.

Crosby, Jabbar is starting to get to that age

where he's asking about his dad.

I would love it

if the two of you developed a relationship.

- Okay. Yeah. - Yeah?

Yeah. Absolutely.

Maybe you guys can get together

an afternoon this weekend.

- This weekend. - Yeah.

The one coming up this weekend?

- Yeah, that one. - Yeah. Um...

man, that sounds really good.

But, um, I'm actually going out of town this weekend.

Oh.

- What? - Nothing.

- Hmm. - Dad!

Well, honey, I mean,

you didn't move all the way back to Berkeley

to serve up a bunch of whiskey sours to alcoholics.

You should be on the other side of that equation.

Okay. I should... I should be an alcoholic?

- No. - No.

- You should be an executive. - Come on, Zeek.

Leave her alone. She loves bartending.

- Right, sweetie? - Yes, mother, it completes me.

Well, never mind. You raised two kids on it.

It's a good living.

You should be in advertising and PR.

I mean, come on.

You did all of the marketing and design

for your ex-husband's band.

If he hadn't thrown his career in the toilet--

Zeek, come on. Leave her alone.

Sarah knows what she's capable of.

- What's that supposed to mean? - Um, that you know yourself.

- And my limits? - I meant it in a good way.

Let me tell the two of you something.

It's not too late to learn some parenting skills, okay?

Both of you.

You can take a class or read a book.

Well, here's some...no, this is a good one.

"Assistant To Creative Executive At Pantheon Design."

"Someone understands the ad industry. Self-starter."

I mean, that has got Sarah Braverman written all over it.

Get on that.

Dad, I'm pretty sure they're not looking

for a 38-year-old single mom who's been a bartender

for 10 years.

They're looking for a brilliant designer cheap.

That's you.

I can't do anything with you standing there.

- Why not? - Because you're hovering.

- I'm not hovering. - Yeah. You--you hover.

I don't hover. This is not hovering.

I'm way over...this is hovering, like this.

Get going now.

- I didn't even see this. - 'scuse me.

- Hey. Are you new? - Um, yeah.

- I just moved to town. - Amber Holt?

- Yeah. - I'm Principal Gomez.

Um...

Can we step outside for a second?

We've reviewed your transfer files

from your previous school in Fresno,

which indicate you don't have enough credits

to qualify as a junior.

What?

We think you'll be more successful

starting here at Roosevelt as a sophomore.

You're...you're holding me back?

Well, I wouldn't look at it like that.

No. No. I'm sorry. There's...there's no way.

Absolutely not.