The Whole Shootin' Match

Hey, sleeping beauty.

Hey boy, rise and shine!

Leave me alone.

C'mon boy, rise and shine.

Hell, I might've known.

I don't see how you can sleep on something that hard.

I tell you worse places to sleep.

Come on, gonna make some money?

– Light hauling! This early?

I'd a known it be second floor.

It ain't worse than that though.

210 ought to be down here.

Morning ma'am. Loyd and Frank's Light Hauling

I'm Loyd, this is my partner Frank.

Frank, I've been reading this book called "The Secrets to Success"

written by a man named, J. Paul Winfield.

And he's the president of a company now, a big company.

And they can't even say which one.

But what he says is that you got to get your mind right.

It's the first thing you've got to do if you want to get somewhere,

is get your mind right.

My mind ain't right I guess, huh?

Says, first get your mind right,

set your mind on some goals,

set yourself a program to reach those goals,

and me and you could start a program.

In the first year we'd be making 15,000 dollars.

Oh, now what kind of program are we going to be on

making us 15,000 dollars a year?

That's what I'd like to know huh?

Well they can't tell you what to do.

They tell you how to get your mind right.

After you done that it's up to you to go out and figure out what to do.

How much you pay for these little gems of wisdom here, huh?

Paid about $14.95, sent off for it.

It's been worth every penny of it.

$14.95? Only person that's got a good

program is J. Paul Snootfield making 15 bucks a whack off of turkeys like you.

They can't tell everybody what to do!

If they told you what to do everybody's go out and do it

and then it would be a flooded market!

I don't know why I waste my words on you.

You don't know nothing about big

business or high finance.

Oh I don't know anything about big business

because I dropped out of high school, huh?

Didn't go to college? I tried to go to

junior college, Loyd.

You don't even have to go to junior college.

It sounds real good, Loyd, but you know,

how's that going to put food on the table? You know?

Gimme something to bank on... How much...? You know?

Well I got me an idea.

Got me an idea about us going into the polyurethane business.

You serious?

Yeah, it's the new thing.

I've got it on good information, it's going to be the coming thing.

We can get in on the ground floor

'cause there is nobody else around here doing it.

They use it for insulation, put it up in attics.

They put down in the middle of, you know, in between walls.

And these rich hippies like it too.

They put it over their houses.

They like it because it covers up their houses.

Now this is a real good one Loyd.

You want me to get in a business

I can't even pronounce the name?

Poly-whatcha-doodle-all-day?

This is like the chinchilla business, Loyd.

How much did we lose on that one, huh?

That was our program.

It was them air conditioners.

I should be driving a Chinchilla Cadillac by now.

How about the frog farm? How much you drop on that one?

Now that was a case of getting in the market too late.

Just about the same time we got in,

the market fell out.

How about the flying squirrels, the flying squirrels, Loyd?

Well that town, this town didn't even have

a mosquito fogger when we got them flying squirrels.

Sure as shit killed our squirrels.

There are a lot of you out there

listening to my voice right now

and you're saying I'm too old to accept Jesus

I've wasted too much of my life.

And then some of you young people out there, you're saying

Brother Bob, I've got too much to live for,

I don't want to accept Jesus now

and live a goody-goody life, miss out on all the fun.

I'll accept Jesus just before I die,

give me a chance to have a little living

Let me tell you, you never know,

you never know if you're going to be here tomorrow

Let me tell you Jesus can come into your life

at any time and give you the fun,

the enjoyment and fulfillment that you want.

You don't have to wait until you're old.

Gonna make money in this polyurethane business

like we gonna find gold on Boccera Mountain, you know what I mean?

There's gold on Boccera Mountain because I know them Indians put it there.

And there's gold in this business, gold money.

There's gold money in the polyurethane business.

We're gonna get rich! We can get rich!

just like all these other people!

Man come today from the finance company.

What'd he want?

He wanted his money or he wanted my washer.

I got some money for him.

The rent's due.

I got paid today. I got some money.

How much?

115 bucks.

Oh, Frank!

It's something!

T-Frank's bicycle got stolen today.

From where?

From school.

School. School for thieves down there.

I can get T. Frank another bicycle.

Me and Loyd are going to have some money coming in here.

A little project.

This is a nice little place here.

Yeah it is.

God damn it.

What's wrong?

I got T. Frank's lunch again. Peanut butter and jelly.

All right, how bout this?

Oh just pull up a little bit.

Oh this is all right. This is as good as it's going to get.

Well I can't see very well, Frank.

Just squash down a little bit, Paulette. These speakers never work...

Ten little Indians, we drive like a madman to get here

and they got ten minutes left before the movie starts.

Mom, I'm hungry.

Well, here's the popcorn right here.

Give me a cigarette honey, would you?

You're always bumming a cigarette.

Oh T. Frank.

I bum a cigarette because your daddy

don't smoke cigarettes, T. Frank.

Cause you can't afford 'em.

Hey I can afford 'em. Don't you worry about that.

And don't you worry about cigarettes either.

I don't want to catch you with a cigarette in your mouth

You do as I say and not as I be.

Oh that is good advice, isn't it Frank?

Let's see put a little bit of this on make it feel better. Here, there ya go...

And don't scratch them mosquito bites, you'll get 'em infected.

Here Frank.

I don't want that on me, nuh-uh, Paulette, no, uh-uh.

You'll be up all night scratching keeping me awake.

It's making me smelly now, make my beer taste weird.

Everybody get a little of this and then them mosquitos won't bother us.

All right now, what did we come to see anyway?

Robert Newman.

Mamma, I'm thirsty.

Well we've got some Kool-Aid right here for you.

I don't want no Kool-Aid. Can I have a Coke?

Not right now, you just hop...

You all got beers...

you just hop out and clean up this windshield.

All right, gimme that dumb rag.

That's a good, yeah.

Git over here in front of daddy, T. Frank.

Right here in front of me.

He's doin' all right.

That's right. Come over here. You've got a little smear in front of you...

...give you a headache if you try to look through that.

That's right, yeah you got it. That's good. That's real nice.

That's good. There you can have some of this Kool-Aid, baby.

I don't want no Kool-Aid. I told you I wanted Coke.

Oh, let him go get a Coke.

Here, bring me back some change, all right?

All right.

Be careful.

You watch out. Oh, look what I done.

You watch out now, them cars don't have their lights on.

Don't make me come looking for you.

And don't you go into that bathroom.

All right, mom.

All right.

Look at those Mexicans over there in that Chevrolet.

Must be forty of them over there.

Yeah it's a whole family.

Hey Senor!

Frank, don't you do that.

Want to buy a tortilla?

Frank stop it, they'll come over and stick you with their knives.

They got as much right to come to movies as we do.

All right. Just giving them a little trouble.

There goes Dave, look at him.

Oh my goodness.

She's going to get it tonight.

Hey boy!

Frank stop it, for..., what are you doing?

Getting any?

I'm going to go home I swear. You don't even know how to act.

You act like you're drunk already.

I ain't drunk already. You're the one that's all giddy on one beer.

You've been giggling up like a little school girl.