Despicable Me 2

Ta-da! (GRUNTS)

Ta-da! (GRUNTS)

Ta-da!

Ta-da! Ta... Ta-da!

Ta-da! (CHUCKLES)

Ta-da!

(MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN OVER LOUDSPEAKER)

Huh?

Three weeks, and we're still no closer to cracking this.

Right, bring him in!

Yes, sir.

This is the best party ever!

Yeah!

Ha! (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Oh, no! A dragon is approaching!

Fear not, for here come the gallant knights to save us.

Yay!

No, no, no. What do you mean she's not coming?

I have a backyard full of these little girls

who are counting on a visit from a fairy princess.

Hurts! (YELLS) Stop it!

Listen! I don't want a refund, I want the fairy princess,

Please, please, I'm begging you.

You know what? I hope that you can sleep at night,

you crusher of little girls' dreams!

Ooh, ooh!

When's the fairy princess coming?

Any minute now!

Yay!

Stall them!

Ooh!

Whoa! Whoa, okay! Okay, all right.

That's enough of the magic show.

Aw!

Wait, did you hear that?

It sounded like the twinkling sounds of magical fairy dust.

It's the fairy princess! She's coming!

Look!

Huh? Oh! (CHUCKLES) Eh? (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

Ow!

Ow.

It is I, Gruzinkerbell,

the most magical fairy princess of all!

And I am here to wish Princess Agnes

a very happy birthday!

How come you're so fat?

Because

my house is made of candy,

and sometimes I eat instead of facing my problems!

How come you have...

Okay, time for cake.

Yay!

Thank you, Gruzinkerbell! You're the best fairy princess ever!

You are welcome, little girl!

I know it's really you, Gru. I'm just pretending for the other kids.

Hey there, Gru. Mr. Life of the Party!

Hello, Jillian.

So, I'm gonna go out on a limb here,

but my friend Natalie is recently single, and... Oop.

No, no, no, get off the limb right now. No limb.

Come on, she's a riot!

She sings karaoke, she has a lot of free time,

looks aren't that important to her...

No, Jills, that is not happening. Seriously, I'm fine.

Okay, fine, forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?

No!

Oh! Oh! I know someone whose husband just died...

I'm sorry, I did not see you there.

Or there.

Kyle? Kyle?

Kyle, no! Do not do your business on the petunias!

There you go. Those are Fred's, go crazy.

Good boy!

Mr. Gru?

I didn't... What? Yes?

Hi! Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL.

Oh, (CHUCKLES) whoops!

Sorry, you're gonna have to come with me.

Oh, sorry, I... Freeze ray!

You know, you really should announce

your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru.

For example...

Lipstick taser!

Oh, it works so good.

Man!

Large person.

Oh, sorry.

Get in there... Huh?

...you big man!

Boss!

Uh? Huh!

Whoa!

Huh?

Ah! Whoo!

Ooh!

Oh!

Huh? Ah. Quack, quack!

(PEDESTRIANS EXCLAIMING IN ALARM)

Wow!

What? Where?

Whoa, foot is asleep.

Ah, pins and needles!

Good afternoon, Mr. Gru.

Eh.

I apologize for our methods in getting you here.

I don't. (CHUCKLES) I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed that.

Every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually.

That's enough, Agent Wilde.

Sorry, sir.

Okay, this is bogus!

I don't know who you people think you are, but...

We are the Anti-Villain League.

An ultra-secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale.

Rob a bank, we're not interested. Kill someone, not our deal.

But you want to melt the polar ice caps, or vaporize Mount Fuji,

or even steal the Moon...

Then we notice.

First of all, you got no proof that I did that.

Second, after I did do that, I put it back!

We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru.

That's why we brought you here.

I am the League's director, Silas Ramsbottom.

Bottom.

Hilarious. (SIGHS)

Agent Wilde?

Oh, me now? Ah.

Um, recently, an entire top-secret lab

disappeared from the Arctic Circle.

Yeah, the entire lab, just...

Gone. Where did it go?

I don't care.

Hmm. The lab was devoted to experiments

involving PX-41, a transmutation serum.

What is PX-41, you ask? Mmm, it's pretty bad. Look.

Ah!

Huh, you usually don't see that in bunnies.

As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum

could be the most devastating weapon on Earth.

Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint.

And using the latest chem-tracking technology,

we found traces of it in the Paradise Mall.

A mall?

Precisely. And we believe that one of these

shop owners is a master criminal.

And that's where you come in.

As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts.

The plan is to set you up undercover

at a shop in the mall, where hopefully...

Okay, I see where this is going,

with all the Mission: Impossible stuff, but no. No!

I'm a father now. And a legitimate businessman.

I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.

"Jams and jellies"?

Oh, attitude! That's right!