British Airways Safety Video: Director's Cut

OK, so you are here to audition

for a part in the British Airways safety information video.

Can you just look into the camera and give your name please?

Hi, I'm Chiwetel Ejiofor.

And have you done any safety videos before?

No, only feature films.

Well, this could be your big break, OK, mate? So don't mess it up.

Shall we get one in the can, guys?

Now listen, Chiwetel.

There's going to be an autocue so you don't have to learn the lines.

You just read them.

OK, focus.

OK, action!

Hello.

We will now demonstrate the safety features on this aircraft

and your attention is essential,

as these may differ from any aircraft that you've flown on before.

Hmmm, bit of a show-off.

Take care your hand baggage does not block the aisles or exit.

It must be put under the seat in front of you

or in an overhead locker.

Place items in the locker carefully

as they may fall out and injure someone,

especially if it's a bag full of duty-free goods, darling.

Actually, sorry. That was meant for Joanna Lumley.

- Muppet. - Sorry.

In the case of an evacuation,

you must move quickly to the closest, usable exit,

taking absolutely nothing with you, and I mean nothing, sweetie.

Yeah, that was another one of her lines.

F*ck me.

You ****.

Sorry, erm, action.

All exits are clearly marked and are being pointed out to you now.

Please take a moment to locate your nearest exit,

bearing in mind this may be behind you.

Wow, that was beautiful!

Oh, thanks.

No, seriously, that bit about the nearest exits, really powerful.

Please, carry on Th-andie.

Thandie. Thandie. Sorry.

Opening the doors automatically inflates the evacuation slides.

And remember, high-heeled shoes must be taken off

as they may tear the slide.

God! No way! Designer shoes, like me.

We are so like soulmates.

We should hang.

No.

Cool.

If the cabin air supply fails, oxygen will be provided.

Masks, like this, will apear automatically.

Stay in your seat and pull the mask towards you.

Place the mask over your mouth and nose, like this,

and breathe normally, adjusting the band to secure it.

Please note that the bag may not inflate.

In all the washrooms, Club World and First cabins,

you may need to pull on the coloured streamer to release the mask.

And please, please, do make sure your own mask is fitted

before helping anyone else.

That was so wonderful.

- Oh! - You know, you'll get the part.

Do you think so? I hope so.

Next!