Pedicab Driver (群龍戲鳳)

Rice dumplings!

Barbecue pork buns!

- Well? - Still not here.

- Hey, what's happening? - Hang on a second.

Damn cat.

Try that again, and I'll chop you dead.

Cat got your tongues? If you don't talk, there'll be trouble!

We'll use force!

Nothing to say? I'll count to ten!

If I don't hear anything, we'll have to use force!

Brother Tung's still not here. What do we do?

We'll just have to improvise.

You mix sweet-talk and threats. You do the same.

Leave the insults to me.

There's too many of them. We have to act as one.

Let's go then.

Time's up.

Let's do it.

- Brother Tung... - We've been waiting.

Please sit down.

Down to business, let's talk. You coolies are a pain in the arse.

You bastards!

Scum!

What?!

- Why are you using abusive language! - You cursed us first!

Forget what he said. Back to business.

Forget it. Sit down, sit down.

Go on.

You guys are driving us to desperation.

Taking passengers and goods. What will we eat?

Barbecue pork buns!

Fuck your barbecue pork!

Not our problem. Sit down. Sit down.

What do you suggest we do?

You take the passengers, we'll take their goods.

What about hand luggage?

We'll get that too!

Are we supposed to ask passengers to leave behind their luggage?

You're crazy.

What's so funny?

Why are you laughing?

Quiet!

You always get violent. I should've said ‘glutinous rice chicken'.

Brother Tan, in the future, you carry luggage,

and we'll take passengers without luggage.

People with luggage can make up their own minds.

Seems fair to me.

Let's shake on it. Who needs trouble?

We all have to make a living.

Come on, shake hands.

Come on, shake hands.

- It's peace from now on. - Bastard! I'll kill you!

- Get them! - Chop them!

God damn you!

I'm not afraid of you.

I poke!

This is more like it, we've become friends over a fight. Here I come!

Stop it!

Stop!

- Stop! - Stop!

Stop fighting!

Cut it out!

Stop fighting!

Scum.

Look. I told you to keep cool. Now we're both losers.

What? You set that guy on us!

Not so! You got him to chop us!

I'm not involved.

I was chasing a cat, who stole my fish.

So it was you.

Not me, brothers. Not my fault.

Look, no knife... no fish...

It wasn't my fault.

Get him!

I'm gonna die!

I'm still alive!

It wasn't my fault!

Not my fault... Don't hit me! I'm scared!

Kwai Chi, Ho Lui, go and get me some flour.

Okay.

Yuet Ching, bring me the towel hanger.

Okay.

Yuet Hei, move the wood indoors.

But it's not raining.

You never know. Go on now.

Okay.

You...

I'm going to the toilet.

Fine, go ahead. Quick.

Ping,

I'll take you out for dinner tonight.

No need.

I've already made a reservation for two.

- Some other time. - Ping...

I'll go and help them.

Not so loud.

Let's go.

- What's going on? - Look at his feet.

Don't make a fool of him.

You...!

Damn you!

I'll burn you into BBQ chicken!

It wasn't me!

Wasn't you?

Wasn't you?

Teasing me?!

Be careful, Master Fong. You'll roast your trotters.

These feet have put out many ghost fires...

...and kicked a thousand rascals' butts!

- No wonder you're so calm. - Of course!

- It's hot! - Let me help you.

You'll break them!

It's okay!

Fat Tung, get out of my sight!

Don't set foot in here again. I wont tolerate you making trouble here.

What have I done?

You even molested my workers.

They were burning me with torches.

I only used one torch on them!

Then you caught on fire putting out my fire...

I was trying to put out the fire on your feet!

Even Buddha could catch on fire!

- You have no right to complain! - I have no right to complain?

- Master Fong - Don't defend him!

He's done it before and he'll do it again.

He's a pig. He's after Ping. I can't allow that!

Shit! She's not your daughter!

Ping, you hear what he said? He's got a dirty mouth.

Master Fong, forget it.

I can't.

Ping, don't encourage him. Give him an inch and he'll take a mile!

You're a loafer, always doping, fighting, stealing.

Rubbish!

I meant only to warn Ping.

Ping. Hang around scum like this and your reputation will be ruined.

If he goes East, you go West.

If he approaches you, run away.

Stick around him and you'll get burned.

Have you finished, old bore?

Have you finished?

They all know I've said nothing out of place.

Naughty boy! Where did you learn such bad manners?

How dare you insult Master Fong?

Auntie, you heard him slander me.

I only heard you talking nonsense, naughty boy.

Go and apologize to Master Fong.

No need, I'm leaving. The young master can't stand the sight of me.

Master Fong, keep calm. I'll teach the naughty boy a lesson.

Tung!

No need to shout, I'm all ears.

Go and say sorry to Master Fong.

Say... SORRY!

Sorry.

Master Fong, be generous and forgive him.

He made passes at my workers. Including Ping.

They're my responsibility.

If they all forgive him, it's all right.

Fine, if everyone forgets it.

Such forgiveness could only come from the heart of a Buddha.

I look like a Buddha, too!

Shut up! Come with me!

Auntie, let go of me, the old man didn't come out.

You know my situation.

Please don't play with them all the time.

I'm going away tomorrow and won't be back for a month.

If you scare Master Fong off, we'll have to close down.

Don't worry. If he quits, you'll lead in ‘pineapple' bun sales.

What do you mean?

- You all have such pinepple figures... - You've got a nerve!

Laugh, laugh, laugh. Laughing all day long.

One day you'll pay for it.

Auntie, you're talking like a whore.

To hell with you, bastard!

If you like girls so much, stick to one and marry her.

Then I'll compliment you.

Enough, Auntie. I have to go and change.

Take care. Bye bye.

Idiot, remember to behave!

"Cheung Kwan stared back...

...and Tsui Ngan Ngan blushed like a morning rose..."

Such cooing the early morning. What a pain in the arse.

Plug your ears if you don't want to listen.

I do. But I need something more exciting to satisfy me.

Carry on eating, but be quiet.

I'm afraid they'll both come down to eat otherwise.

It wouldn't cost much. Come on.

When you three are done, my daughter and I still have to eat.

But you breastfeed her.

I can't feed her if I don't eat.

Even if you don't eat, it won't matter. They're big enough.

Big? I need enough for the kids, and you!

Get weaned off if you're so cocky.

Don't talk like that in front of the children. Eat up!

Watch your mouth.

- Ping! - Tung!

Be good.

Uncle Fatty has brought us olives.

Finish your meal first.

- Let's go to work! - Coming!

You fat bastard! Why choose me?