Lemonade

I tried to make a home outta you.

But doors lead to trapdoors.

A stairway leads to nothing.

Unknown women wander the hallways at night.

Where do you go when you go quiet?

You remind me of my father, a magician.

Able to exist in two places at once.

In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3AM and lie to me.

What are you hiding?

The past, and...the future merge to meet us here.

What luck.

What a fucking curse.

I tried to change,...

...closed my mouth more.

Tried to be soft, prettier.

Less...awake.

Fasting for 60 days.

Wore white.

Abstained from mirrors. Abstained from sex.

Slowly did not speak another word.

In that time my hair I grew past my ankles.

I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword.

I levitated...

...into the basement, I confessed my sins and was baptized in a river.

Got on my knees and said, “Amen.”

And I said "Ameen". I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet.

I threw myself into a volcano, I drank the blood and drank the wine.

I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God.

I crossed myself and thought... I saw the devil.

I grew thickened skin on my feet.

I bathed in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from the Holy Book.

But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know...

Are you cheating? Are you cheating on me?

If this what you truly want,...

...I can wear her skin... over mine.

Her hair, over mine.

Her hands as gloves.

Her teeth as confetti.

Her scalp, a cap.

Her sternum, my bedazzled cane.

We can pose for a photograph.

All three of us, immortalized.

You and your perfect girl.

I don't know when love became elusive.

What I know is no one I know has it.

My father's arms around my mother's neck.

Fruit too ripe to eat.

I think of lovers as trees...

...growing to and from one another.

Searching for the same light.

Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me?

Why can't you see me?

Everyone else can.

[DON'T HURT YOURSELF featuring Jack White plays]

: The most disrespected person in America, is the black woman.

The most unprotected person in America, is the black woman.

The most neglected person in America, is the black woman.

So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you've killed me?

Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head.

Here lies the mother of my children both living and dead.

Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted,

most bomb pussy, who because of me, sleep evaded.

Her shroud is loneliness. Her God was listening.

Her heaven would be a love without betrayal.

Ashes to ashes...

dust to side chicks.