Youngblood

Get 'em, Jack!

Yeah!

- Come on! Up and down! - Get the little runt!

Goddammit!

Go ahead, Bobby.

Hey, kids, cut it out. Come on.

Break it up. Break it up. Kelly!

Come on, Kelly. Break it up. Cut it out. That's enough.

I've been offered a tryout with the Hamilton Mustangs.

All right, Deaner.

They came to one of my games. They've got one spot open for their play-offs.

- There's too much work to be done here. - Dad, I can't wait any more.

I gotta play junior if I'm ever gonna play pro. All the scouts'll be there.

I can't afford to hire someone in your place.

I figure maybe we could get a tractor with my bonus money.

Yeah. Like with Kelly's bonus?

All he ended up with was a stick in the eye and a $2,000 doctor bill.

I'll pick up the slack, Pop.

Yeah, how long do you think that'll last?

I don't wanna be a goddamn farmer the rest of my life.

- He's just a smart-ass kid. - We all were... for the first week.

- He's so goddamn small. - He'll grow.

In a week?

Let him go. He'll be back in two weeks dragging his tail between his legs.

Now, there's one thing you're gonna have to learn.

O Canada!

Our home and native land!

True patriot love

In all thy sons command

With glowing hearts we see thee rise

Our True North strong and free!

Hamilton Arena.

He scores!

You wanna come in?

What? Hold your fucking hand, huh?

You're on your own.

Hey.

Thanks.

Forget it. You're worthless around there anyway.

Don't take any shit from them Canucks.

To them, you're another wetback crossin' the border to play their game.

- They'll never catch me. - They'll catch you.

Where'd you get these guys from, Ray? Mexico?

We're only looking for one player.

Like that sorry son of a bitch who just tripped over the blue line?

Carl Racki. Six feet, 198 pounds. Played tier two in the Western League last year.

15 goals, 22 assists and - whoo! - 378 minutes in penalties!

Help out! Help out!

Dean Youngblood. Five foot ten inches, 160 pounds.

He's 17 years old. He's an American kid from Stanton.

Scored 92 goals this year so far for the Stanton Flyers.

125 assists and 14 minutes in penalties.

That's Kelly's kid brother.

Come on! Somebody hit the hot dog.

- Why doesn't somebody hit him? - They can't catch him.

Put Racki across from him.

- Look at him. - He's goin' for it.

- Stay down. - Stay down.

- Keep your head up, prick. - Look where the puck is, asshole.

Wanna go, pretty boy?

Come on, come on, come on.

Let's go.

- He's outta here. - Pup.

Come on, take it easy.

Bring him down to the other end. You all right?

- Yeah. - You sure?

What do you think, Murray?

He fights like an old lady.

- Looks good for about six. - Six? Come on, ten.

- Where's the doc? - What doc?

- The one who's gonna sew my eye. - You're looking at him.

Let's see. Where is the little bugger?

Here we go.

I do needlepoint too. That's one of mine.

Pretty good, huh?

We got a team doctor but he can't tie his shoelaces.

A player gets cut, he takes 30 minutes to close him up.

By that time, the guy's lost 15 minutes of the game.

So, anyway, Murray bought me this kit and told me to learn.

The first month he stood beside me with a stopwatch.

Yeah.

Your eyes are better than mine. Once I get it threaded, I'm OK.

- Mad butcher of Hamilton. - Oh.

I'm out of Novocain, so this may hurt a little.

OK.

Here we go.

Nothing to it. Just like zipping up your pants.

Six stitches, five minutes.

Pretty good. Next year we'll have you doing transplants.

Get him a uniform.

Yeah, a nurse's uniform.

Better make it extra small, Frazier.

- Can I talk to you? - Yeah.

I'm gonna go with the other kid. I need someone who can put the puck in the net.

That pipsqueak?

Maybe you can catch on with another team. I only have one spot for the playoffs.

- I kicked his ass all over the rink. - But you're not as fast as he is.

Don't worry. You'll be seeing me around.

Ooh!

Save some of that for the ice, huh?

All right. Mustangs out on the rink in five minutes.

Go get him, killer.

Shit!

New uniforms for the playoffs?

Nice.

Fuck.

The locker room is that way.

I think he needs a shave. What do you think, guys?

- I already shaved. - When? Last week?

Don't think he knows what we mean.

I think he's gonna do something funny.

No. I think he's gonna... bolt!

- You're goin' nowhere! - On the table.

Ding, ding! Paging Dr Sutton.

The doctor is here. Scalpel.

- Scalpel. - Scalpel.

Go for it. You wanted a doctor.

- Shaving cream. - Shaving cream.

Hold him still, boys. We don't want another Victor Gunderson incident.

Poor Victoria. And he had so much potential.

Looky, looky! This shouldn't take long at all.

Press hard, Derek, it's really dull.

OK.

Yes?

You must be one of Murray's boys.

Come on in.

I swear to God,

sometimes I don't know whether I'm running a boarding house or a hospital.

More of Mr Frazier's embroidery.

- What's your name, honey? - Excuse me.

I'm Dean Youngblood.

Right. I'll show you your room, Dean.

And then I'll show you the second most important room in the house, the kitchen.

By the way, I'm Miss McGill.

Dean!

Yep.

Can you get the door, honey?

I thought you might like a nice cup of tea.

I do like all my boys to be comfortable.

There we are.

Well, you're settling in, I see.

Goal.

Shit. Excuse me.

It might be a little bit warm. Here, we can let it cool down.

You know, Dean,

I've been boarding hockey players in this house for over ten years.

These are some of my boys.

Fred "The Hammer" Murphy.

Defence. Six three, 210.

Great thighs.

Big shot from the point, averaged only about 10 goals a year,

but, boy, you remembered every single one of them.

St Louis, Detroit, Chicago, New York.

They say he has an attitude problem.

I always thought he was wonderful.

One, two, three...

She do it to me last year.

She do it to me last night.

The only thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill.

Baf, baf, baf!

Hey, I saw you try out. You've got speed.

Thanks.

Fast legs, slow fists.

- That guy suckered me. - Poor baby.

Maybe next time we can send you a telegram. "Get ready for the right hook."

Racki's brutal even for this league.

That man, he's fucking an animal.

Hey, cheers! Miss McGill!

A round of tequila. Con limones de cojones!

To the game and getting out of this hick town.

Thank God there is still a sport for middle-sized white boys.

Amen!

Lightweight.

- Learn to take a drink, man. - Fuck, I'm sorry.

Yo! Another round.

Local talent at three o'clock.

Anybody we know?

You take the one with the moustache.

- Ladies, hi. - Hi.

- Good to see you. - Hi.

- I saw every game last year. - I missed just one. That's cos I was sick.

I missed three cos of haemorrhoids.

What's so funny? I had to have surgery. I'll show you.

- Not right now, please. - Maybe after a few more drinks.

Maureen.

- Oh, look! - What?

- I don't see anything. - No, I guess not.

So, bottoms up?

I was wondering where those things were.

- Yo! Two Bloody Marys! - Tequila once again for the second time!

Cheers.

Cheers, man.

Hey, goddammit! Watch it!

Ready?

Cheers.

Cheers. Come on, let's go. We're just gettin' started.

Cheers!

Lookin' good, rookie!

Fuck me.

Youngblood and Sutton.