Fallen

I want to tell you about the time I almost died.

I never thought it would happen to me.

Not at this age.

Beaten, outsmarted.

How did I get into this fix? How did it all begin?

No, no, no. If I go back to the beginning, that'll take forever.

So let's start more recently.

Somewhere. Anywhere.

Reese.

I thought the governor didn't approve of this.

The more they don't approve, the more they want to watch.

So, what is this, six notches on your belt?

Eight.

-Congratulations. -Fuck you.

Ask me more nicely, huh?

John Hobbes.

You're wanted in the dance hall.

Hey. -Edgar Reese.

Well, well, well. Look who's here.

It's the brilliant detective who sealed my brutish fate.

That's right.

So, what is this? They making you famous now?

Oh, bigtime. They're gonna put me in the movies. Documentary.

All courtesy of the ACLU. They shoot me getting smoked.

Who knows? Maybe it'll be a big video rental.

All these society ladies showing it to their dinner guests.

"Ooh, you see that there? That's a urine stain, ladies." Ha, ha.

"Oh, my, it's not urine." Ha, ha.

-It's good to see you, Hobbes. -It's good to be seen by you, Reese.

Sure.

You're, uh...

... my best pal.

Ah.

You're still a good fella.

Open the gate.

You know, you remind me of somebody, Hobbes.

Oh, indeed you do. Indeed you do.

-Do you like riddles? -No, I don't.

Here's a beaut.

Why is there a space between Lyons and Spakowsky?

-What? -Come on. You should know this one, pal.

You should know this one.

Open your eyes. Look around sometime.

Open the gate.

Remember this, Hobbes.

A day, a week, a month.

What are you, a Nazi now?

It's Dutch.

What goes around...

... really goes around.

You have a safe trip, hear?

I'll be looking for you.

What goes around really goes around.

Hey! Howdy, folks.

Ladies, gents, cocksuckers, pederasts.

I hope you all enjoy the show. Yes, I do.

Hey, I'll give you a blowjob if you get me out of this, baby.

Yee-haw!

Time is on my side

Yes, it is

Time is on my side

Yes, it is

Now, you always say That you wanna be free

Well, I'll come running back

I'll come running back to you

Baby, come on, go ahead...

... light up my life!

Something is always happening.

But when it happens, people don't always see it...

... or understand it...

... or accept it.

The criminals don't accept consequences, huh?

They kill somebody, somehow it's not their fault.

-This is the consequence. Hey, look who made it.

Mr. Consequence. How'd it go?

-He died. -Told you.

Gracie, he got one more.

Hey, detective, nice to see you. -How you doing, Gracie?

-Don't tempt me with that. Oh, man. Sorry.

What's your poison? We're working on some Beck's.

We got some Guinness. We got some Bass.

-Budweiser's good for me. Budweiser?

Yeah. -Good.

-We're going imported here. Please.

-You can't afford it, I'll buy. -I can afford it. Budweiser.

-Okay. -Well, at least have a Bud Ice...

... or a Bud Dry or something.

Lou, it is just a Bud, okay?

-You guys want anything? No.

Here's your Bud.

He was one of the most notorious inmates in this prison.

-Here you go. -Thank you, sweetheart.

You're an unusual cop, Hobbes.

-Really? -Mm-hm.

I've been in this precinct about what, uh, five, six months?

And everybody says, "Hobbes don't take no cream.

Hobbes don't take no cream."

Now is that true, or what?

No, I don't like cream, Lou.

That means "no"? -Yeah, it means "no."

Now, is that "no" as in "never," "no" as in "sometimes"...

... or "no" as in "I do, but I don't like to talk about it"?

"No" as in "never."

This is a big city, Hobbesy. We got a tradition to uphold.

Something wrong with your ears? Man says something, he says it.

It's a hypothetical. You know, a cop who's trying to make ends meet...

... wants a little something on the side.

I don't like cream. And I don't judge.

You don't judge?

He's a fucking saint, huh?

So you're telling me that under no circumstances...

... would a holy man like you ever, you know...

... break the law or do something....

Look, Lou...

... I could jump across the table, snatch your heart right out of your chest...

... squeeze the blood out, stick it in your front pocket. I could do that.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah. If I lost control.

But if I did...

... I would be no different than the people we bust.

Now, as to your general question...

... you take any cop out on the force, cream or no...

...99 percent of the time, they're doing their job, aren't they?

-Ninety-nine five. -Point five.

So he or she, cream or no...

... is doing more good out there on the street every day...

... than any, uh, lawyer or stockbroker...

... or, uh, president of the United States can ever do in their lifetime.

Ah. Cops are the chosen people.

Amen.

Guess I'm switching to Bud.

Gracie, come here and get this foreign shit off my table...

... and bring me three Buds.

She's been waiting all her life

-For a man of steel Over there.

[WHISTLING TUNE OF THE ROLLING STONES' "TIME IS ON MY SIDE"]

Can you believe that? Ha, ha.

Yo, give me a burger?

Damn it, Charles, what took you so long? There's a room up on 13 that--

You know what you'd look like with this sandwich up your ass?

Pardon me?

Like a fat, stupid fuck with a sandwich up his ass.

-Charles, I hate to do this but-- -Yeah.

Put the job where the sandwich goes.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello?

Here we go. Juice, pretzels, apple.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Uncle John, will you please make my lunch tomorrow?

Here's Toby.

-Hey, Mr. Hobbes. Hi, Toby.

I can't be having the same thing every day.

What do you want, uh, peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

-No. -Heh.

What? Jelly and peanut butter? -No.

All right.

-I love you, Dad. -Wait, wait.

Don't forget your Uncle Johnny.

-I can feel the love in this room, man. -Bye, Uncle Johnny.

Bye. Be good, hear.

-Have a good day at school. -Okay. Bye.

You're doing a good job, Art.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Why don't you sit down with me, huh? Let's talk a bit.

-You're not in a hurry or something? -No. No, no, no, no, no.

I can relax today.

Besides, what are they gonna do? Fire me?

-How are you doing? -Okay.

-You're all right? -Yeah.

I love you, Johnny.

You ever--?

You ever think it would be easier, your life would be easier...

... or something if maybe me and Sam were not living with--?

No, no, no, no, no.

-Maybe Marcy wouldn't have left. -Later for Marcy.

If she loved me, she would have never left.

Besides, family's always first. You're my brother, right? Huh?

Yeah.

I love you too, Art.

But don't make the boy any more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

-No more peanut butter and jelly, heh. -Okay.

A cop knows.

A cop sees.

Even the most casual thing, it registers.

Often you don't remember till later on. But then you look back and you realize...

... you knew.

Hey, good morning, detective. -Mikey, Mike.

-How you doing, lieutenant? Hey, Hobbes.

Look who's feeling good today.

Hey, what can I say? Hey, you're looking better than me.

Got a call on 4, Hobbes. -Thank you, Denise.

-Jonesy. -Hey.

How's everything today? Good?

Detective Hobbes.

Hey, pal, you got a pen?

Blanche? 4541...

... South Stender, Apartment 2.

-Who's there? A clue, Magoo.