WandaVision

Previously on WandaVision...

Born to Irina and Oleg Maximoff, both killed during an air raid

when Maximoff and her twin brother, Pietro, were ten.

The twins were subsequently radicalized, volunteering at HYDRA.

Maximoff stormed our facility,

stole the Vision's body and resurrected him.

- Wanda killed me? - Yes. You asked her to do it.

- I can't. - You can.

- I came back and died again. - No!

And she had to watch.

Where are the twins?

They're probably just playing in the basement.

You didn't think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?

The name's Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear.

No, no, no.

Please, no.

No. No, please.

Agatha Harkness, are you a witch?

Yes.

I am a witch.

Yet you have betrayed your coven.

I have not!

You stole knowledge above your age and station.

You practice the darkest of magic.

I know... I know nothing of these crimes.

- I... I swear it. - Enough deception!

I did not break your rules.

They simply bent to my power.

Wait.

No. I cannot control it! I...

If only you would teach me!

Help me! Please!

Mother, please!

Please! Mother!

No!

Please, I can be good.

No, you cannot.

What?

No, I know.

She does look shocked to meet the real us, doesn't she?

That's adorable.

My thoughts are not available to you, toots.

They never, ever were.

So don't go givin' yourself a migraine.

We've got work to do.

- Where are my children? - "Where are my children?"

Oof!

That accent really comes and goes, doesn't it?

Where are they?

Oh, your magic's no good here.

Didn't you notice?

Basic protection spell, one in each wall?

No? Nothing?

These are runes, Wanda.

In a given space, only the witch that cast the runes can use her magic.

How do you not know the fundamentals?

- Who are you? - Who are you?

All those costumes and hairstyles.

I was so patient,

waiting for you to reveal your true self.

I got close with fake Pietro.

Fietro, if you will, but no dice.

- That was you. - No, it wasn't literally me.

Just my eyes and ears.

A crystalline possession.

Necromancy was a non-starter

since your real brother's body is on another continent.

Not to mention, full of holes.

But you're so crippled by your own self-doubt

that you believed it.

Oh, Wanda,

oh, when I sensed this place,

the afterglow of so many spells cast all at once...

Oh, I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Mind control.

A classic.

Quick incantation and a feeble psyche and you're good to go.

With thousands of people under your thumb,

all interacting with each other according to complex storylines.

Well, that's something special, baby.

And of course, there's transmutation.

Years of study to achieve even the smallest convincing illusion.

But Westview through your lens, Wanda...

Every little detail in place down to the crown molding.

You're even running illusions miles away at the edge of town.

Magic on autopilot.

What's your secret, sister?

Listen, I need you... Hey, Wanda,

I need you to tell me how you did this.

I didn't do anything. I'm not...

I tried to be gentle,

to nudge you awake from this ridiculous fantasy,

but you would rather fall apart than face your truth.

You left me no choice.

What was it you said to your not-brother? Hmm?

All you could recall was the feeling.

You felt empty. Alone.

Endless nothingness.

Let's start there.

It's been fun playing pretend for a while, hasn't it, Wanda?

But it's time to look at some real reruns.

All right, let's go.

No.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you forget who's got your children stashed away in her bewitched basement?

- Mom! Mom! Help, please, Mom! - Mom, help us!

That's right.

After you, superstar.

Charming. Love the Cold War aesthetic.

Why are we here?

Mama...

Irina?

Papa...

Oleg...

Hey.

- In English, Papa! - Pietro...

Oh, he's loud, isn't he?

You said the only rule of TV night is we try to practice our English.

Yeah. Yes, he is right.

We were just making rid of last little bit of Sokovian.

Where is your sister?

Wanda?

I mean, we're right here.

Wanda?

That's your cue, lady. You're on.

Hey.

Now we can begin. Wanda, you pick.

My pick isn't here.

I have forgot.

I put it in the special place for extra safekeeping.

Don't look.

Good job.

Hold this.

This is your pick, yes?

Season 2, Episode 21.

Dick Van Dyke again? Always "sitcom, sitcom, sitcom..."

The Walnut episode!

Yes, Rob and Laura have for the most fun shenanigans.

What is "shenanigan" again?

Shenanigan is like problem, but more silly than scary,

but can sometimes be a little scary.

Yeah, like mischief.

But a silly mischief that always becomes fine.

Okay, Papa start it for us.

The Dick Van Dyke Show, starring Dick Van Dyke.

And Mary Tyler Moore.

Wanda!

- Oh, I heard a scream. - Oh, I must've screamed.

Oh, what a night nightmare.

I dreamed that I was a Twiloite.

And then I lost my sense of humor and my thumbs... Oh.

At the end of the episode, you realize it was all a bad dream.

None of it was real.

Did you stop that bomb?

What?

You used a probability hex.

No, I...

It just never went off. It was...

It was defective. We didn't know that.

- We were... We were trapped. - For how long?

Two days.

So much trauma...

...and yet you were safe as kittens the whole time.

So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms