Frogman

All right, guys.

Go straight. Go straight.

- Yeah. Stop! No one's gonna die today.

No one's gonna die.

This is the way.

Small town America at its finest, honey.

This is nice.

Stop... -

What's so funny? Having fun back there?

Yeah.

Are you two fighting? -

No, honey, they're not fighting.

They're not fighting. They're having fun.

- They're giggling. Where are we going?

This is where life happens.

- Get your hands off it. Hey, guys, look! The bridge!

Did you look? Did you see the bridge?

- Look at that. Look at that. The bridge.

13 feet, 2 inches.

Why are your shoes wet?

Your shoes are wet, Dallas.

Just get out of the car. Let's go.

Are my shoes actually wet?

No, don't listen to your father.

He's an idiot.

This is nice, right?

The weather is perfect. Yeah. Let's go down...

Let's go down by the river, you guys.

- Where's Dallas? I think there's some...

- Can you see Dallas? Come on, let's go.

Wow, that's so cool.

Be careful, the water...

Okay.

You're so concerned all the time.

Just don't... No.

- No. What? What, honey?

What? We can't be here forever.

- We gotta get back on the road. - Okay. All right.

Stretch your legs, kids. We'll take you up.

Just take in the sights.

Every... Did you guys see the bridge?

You saw the drawbridge, right?

- Yeah. Okay. Hey, Dallas,

buddy, if you were any fish, what would you be?

What kind of fish?

- Shark. Shark?

Is a shark even a fish? Did you say shark?

- Yes. You'd be a shark?

- Shark's not a fish. Yes, it is.

If you were anything, if you were an aquatic creature...

- Jellyfish. - Jellyfish?

So you can sting people?

Mmm-hmm. Definitely. With your sharp, teenage bitterness?

That's great.

Oh, look at those clouds, honey. Isn't that beautiful?

You're so pretty.

- So... - Kevin?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Okay. All right. You guys ready to go?

Tell me where we are!

- I know where we fucking are! Dad.

- Just read the fucking map! Whoa, little lady!

Lizzie Kyle, we do not speak like that in this family.

Dad just said, "Fuck."

Oh, Lizzie. Come on. Enough.

Haven't you gotten enough of Mom and Dad arguing?

Did you hear that?

What is that?

What? - In there.

Oh, my God. Go grab Dad.

Cool.

What's up, y'all? Jeremy J here.

Raising skirts and IQs.

Welcome to another edition of Monster Soup.

Frogman. Said to be four feet in height with leathery skin.

He's been spotted wandering the woods of Loveland,

conducting rituals with his wand.

This wand has led to speculation that he could be an alien

with advanced technology.

But others say he is the river monster of native local legend.

This more mystical origin lends validation to the reports

that he may be telepathic and can infiltrate your mind.

Your mind, not Jeremy J's mind.

This is a steel trap.

Frogman entered the social zeitgeist in 1975

when this photo taken by Loveland local George Hale,

circulated in national papers.

The more infamous sighting took place in '99,

when a 10-year-old named Dallas Kyle

captured the footage we've all seen.

Oh, my God.

Is there a real Frogman?

Did Dallas Kyle actually capture the footage of it?

Let me think for a second.

Ding dong, dipsticks.

Jeremy J calls bullshit.

Bullshit.

Let's talk about the now 32-year-old Dallas Kyle.

He graduated with a degree in directing in 2011,

and since, he's apparently directed two short films.

For a 10-year-old, this is a pretty impressive hoax.

But it also seems like this is where Dallas Kyle's

film making career seems to have peaked.

Anyways, that is the scoop on the soup...

This fucking guy.

I peaked...

What's your career, being a fucking troll?

You know what? I guarantee you.

You would be weeping,

and shitting yourself if you saw what I saw.

You dumb dick.

Today I start my search for Frogman.

But I can't do it alone, so...

Hey, Dallas.

How's it going, man?

Just eating some breakfast.

Breakfast?

I'd say it's more like lunch. It's 2:00 p.m. in the afternoon.

Well, I just woke up.

- So technically, it's my breakfast. - Yeah, hmm.

Froggy Pebbles. Nutritious...

Say, Lizzie told me that you were dating somebody.

Did she?

Yeah. I was.

We broke up.

Oh, man. I'm, I'm sorry to hear about that.

Um...

Hey, do you mind if we talk real quick?

Isn't that kind of what we're doing right now?

Well, it's about last night.

Ben, I know I was too loud.

- Yeah. - It won't happen again.

I'm really sorry.

I appreciate you guys letting me stay here for a little bit.

And frankly, I need to be more respectful.

I appreciate you saying that. I really do.

Um...

When Lizzie and I agreed to letting you stay here for a little bit...

um, it was more temporary.

But now it's been two years

that you've been in the guest room.

And, you know, I never put a hard date on kicking you out.

I just would never do that.

But it is now the time for you

to start considering, you know, a new place.

Let's see what we got here.

Now we're talking. Okay.

Oh, let's see.

Ooh!

There's my baby.

Hey, guys.

Shit!

What's up, guys? I just wanted to hop on here

and...

Just fucking hop on here. That's fucking stupid.

What's up, guys?

Hey, y'all.

Goddamn.

People keep saying that my Frogman footage is fake.

And that I'm a liar.

But I know what I saw that day.

And I'm going to get irrefutable proof

that the Frogman exists.

But I can't do it alone.

Lucky for me...

My best friend is also my cameraman.

And he's going to be joining me on this little adventure.

No.

No fucking way.

- Come on, Scotty. I need you. - Shooting a wedding this weekend.

- So... - You hate shooting weddings.

Yeah, but I like money.

I'll pay you.

You don't need me. You can operate that piece of shit yourself.

"Piece of shit"?

How dare you?

This is the camera. I got the original footage on.

It's symbolic.

Dallas, I know you're not familiar with the concept,

but I'm working.

So please, fuck off.

We can talk tomorrow at Amy's thing. All right?

What do you mean, "Amy's thing"? What thing?

Her going away party.

Going away party?

Where is she going?

I thought you knew. She's, uh...

She's moving to LA.

No, we we haven't really been talking.

Well, I think you should come.

Am I even invited?

I think I'm overdressed.

I don't know if this was a good dress.

Well, it's a going away party.

You look like you're dressed for a coke deal.

I'm kidding.

You look great. You look great.

There she is. Amy! Girl.

Hey, what's with the camera?

Oh, I have to document your last night.