Fighting with My Family

If you smell

what The Rock is cooking!

Oh, my God!

Title's on the line here.

He's going to the top! He wants to finish The Rock off!

Oh, no!

Wait a minute!

The Rock has done it!

The Rock is back...

"... and on top of the mountain!"

Yes! Yes!

Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! Ro...

Paige!

I'm watching that.

I wanna watch Charmed.

No! Give me the remote!

No!

Give it... Give it to me!

Get off, Zak!

Get off!

Zak! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?

If you really wanna choke her out,

interlock fingers.

Yeah. Now pull it tight.

Oh, yeah! Now she's in trouble.

You feel it?

You feel it cut... What is going on?

He's choking me!

What're you gonna do about it?

Well, hello.

Whoa!

Yeah, yeah, nice.

That's my girl.

Hey, Saraya.

You don't have to look pretty today, princess.

Yeah, but she's not just pretty on the outside, is she?

In there is a heart of gold. Do anything for anyone.

What are you two dickheads after?

Babe, I am a girl down

for the under-18s match. No.

I don't wanna be a wrestler.

You would love the buzz, darling.

It's like coke, crack, heroin combined.

Have you done coke, crack and heroin?

Not combined.

Darling, if I have to give refunds,

I am buggered six ways to Sunday.

I need you to do this for your family.

Do you understand that?

No, Dad, I can't wrestle some random girl.

I'll screw it up.

What if you're wrestling me?

Let's go!

I can't do this, Zak.

It's like a dance, just follow me.

Okay.

Good one! Come on!

Yeah!

Come on, princess!

Come on, darling.

Come on, girl! You can do it!

Come on! Come on!

Come on, you muppets!

Shut up! Sit down!

Hey.

Quick, her hair!

Shut up!

Hey, don't you come in! Don't you come in!

I'm coming in. I'll disqualify you.

Get off her throat!

Get off her throat now!

Come on!

Hmm?

All right, I'm gettin' in. I'm gettin' in.

Britani! Britani! Come on!

Britani! Britani!

Britani! Britani! Britani!

Don't you dare! Oh, I will!

Zak Attack! Zak Attack!

Zak Attack! Zak Attack!

Zak Attack!

No! No!

Anything but this!

One!

Two!

Three! That's it!

Come on!

The winners,

Zak Zodiac and Britani!

Ugh, that's disgusting, Zak.

It's Dad's, it's not mine. Oh, for God's sake.

I'm gonna pound on you, I swear to God.

World Wrestling Entertainment, Hutch Morgan's office.

Hello, my darling. It's Ricky Knight calling again.

Ricky... Ricky Knight.

I'm calling from the World Association of Wrestling out of Norwich.

Where?

Norwich. Norwich.

It's the... It's the mustard capital of England.

You've heard of England, innit ya?

You hit Greenland and take a right.

What's this regarding, sir?

I sent Mr. Morgan a tape of my kids,

Zak Zodiac and Britani.

Hello. Yeah, well, in the ring, I'm Britani,

and out of the ring, I'm Saraya.

That's 'cause in the ring, I'm Saraya.

You might've heard of me, Sweet Saraya Knight?

You still there, love?

I am. Mr. Morgan will contact you if necessary.

Thanks for calling WWE.

Do you know if he watched the tape?

She... She hung up. I don't know.

What a dick.

Wrestling! Wrestling?

You wanna come to wrestling?

Wrestling tonight.

Hey! I'm wrestling tonight.

Do you wanna come to wrestling tonight?

No.

Wrestling? No? Okay.

Excuse me. Do you wanna see wrestling? Live wrestling?

I'm fighting tonight. Do you wanna come watch?

Live wrestling?

Excuse me! Live wrestling?

Come on!

Shit.

I ain't got nothing.

Why'd you run, then?

You said I needed to do more cardio.

That's not mine.

What's the plan, Ez? Huh?

You wanna deal? Or do you wanna wrestle?

I wanna wrestle.

Then cut this crap out, mate, or I'm done with you. Okay?

Oh, don't throw that!

That's the same shit Rihanna smokes.

Wrestling? Live wrestling?

Live wrestling!

Excuse me.

Have you ever been to see live wrestling?

No.

Well, can I ask why not?

Because I'm not a child. Or a moron.

You should come.

Yeah, you should see her. She's really good.

But she's a girl.

Oh, God, is she not?

No, I am.

Is this, like, your... Your costume?

No, this is me.

Wow.

Oh, wait. I know you.

You're from that weird family, aren't you?

We're not weird.

Yeah, her brother was on the news.

Didn't he do something mental?

Isn't he in jail?

You should come tonight. It'll be really fun.

We don't like wrestling.

Well, how do you know if you've never been?

I've never had rectal bleeding before,

but I'm pretty sure I'm not a fan of that.

How about I shove her head up your arse, and then we can find out?

Freak!

Doors open at 7:00!

Hey, Zak.

Bring your daughter to the slaughter

Let her go Let her go

Let her go

Let's go, Cal! Come on!

All right, just follow the music.

Here, come here.

Hello.

Thing of beauty. Right, Sunny, let's go.

Lock up.

Full nelson. Break.

Snapmare. Lovely stuff.

Okay. Mitchie.

Lock up. Full nelson.

Break. Snapmare.

Nice, mate, nice! (CLAPS)

Right, Ez, come on, let's do this.

Lock up.

Full nelson.