Psych

Previously on Psych...

So the mayor's decided to send over a consultant,

Mr. Harris Trout.

I intend to save the taxpayers millions of dollars

by trimming the work force into a new model

of precision and efficiency.

Chief?

I got a six-month suspension.

But I have news for all of you.

I'm stayin'. And you know why?

Because you're the new interim chief of police.

Correct.

We will no longer be hiring psychics,

and you're no longer head detective.

I love you.

I love you too.

Now, as your new interim police chief,

I will guide you through this raid today

as we rid our city of another one

of its drug-dealing washouts.

Where's my head detective?

- Right here, sir. - I said my head detective.

When I ask for a freshly-demoted beat cop,

I'll expect you front and center.

Capisce? And loosen those blues.

Nobody needs to see you advertising your business

to the whole community like that.

Now one more time: Where's my head detective?

Uh, that's...

that's me. I'm here.

- Okay, detective O'Hara... - Mm-hmm.

Now that you've been promoted to interim head detective,

on rare occasions, I'll be depending on you.

This is not one of those occasions.

Now, in six minutes,

we're gonna be moving inside in two-by-two formations.

Yes, Gus, that's the point.

We need a new business venture,

which means I will be the motivational life coach.

You will be my booking agent and audience plant.

You don two hats.

I don't wanna don two hats, Shawn.

A beret up front.

You got a little beanie on the crown

of your smooth chocolate thunderdome.

You can't just become a life coach

without a life or coaching skills.

I already got one of those words

with the dots in between the letters.

Encapsulates my philosophy.

- It's called an acronym. - S.E.I.Z.E.

That's "seize," or as the Mayans called it, "seize."

You do realize the letters

are supposed to stand for something, right?

Guess what the "S" in S.E.I.Z.E stands for?

- What? - Seize.

You're an idiot.

We need to figure out a way to get on the case fast

before Psych goes under.

Trout hates us, and right now

we're not supposed to step foot in the station

much less a crime scene.

Your new legal name is Recap McGhee.

Now, the perp inside that house

is a very dangerous bird,

a lappet-faced vulture, a red-necked ostrich.

Either way, in the analogy, it's molting.

Gotta figure out a way past these barricades, man.

I need a stage on which to display my skillz

in front of Sauertrout there.

Let's go to dinner.

You don't have to ask me twice.

Hey, you.

Yeah, you.

I'm Shawn Spencer.

This is my partner, Trending Ontwitter.

Hashtag what-would-Gus-do.

Couldn't help but notice the roses.

- Yeah, it's my anniversary. - Super.

Well, you don't have to ask us once.

We would love to join you and your lovely wife

for a six-course dinner.

Well, you know, they're not letting anyone past, so...

Oh, no?

Sounds like somebody needs to step up

and seize.

How do I seize, Shawn? I'll tell ya.

You go right over there and you let that jagbag know

there's absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing,

that is gonna keep you from wining and dining

your wife and your new black and white best friends.

'Cause after we leave, she's gonna get handsy.

- Say, yes, she is. - What?

- I don't know you. - No impending raid.

No guns, no cops. Nothing's gonna stop you.

Now, go. Seize!

Seize.

- Seize. - Yeah.

You got this, bro. You got this.

All right, listen up.

We're gonna have to move in from east to west.

Some of you may not know which way is east

and which way is west.

That's okay. That's west, that's east.

Excuse me, officer?

Seize. Seize.

- Seize. - Uh, listen.

I...

My house is right there, and it's my anniversary.

- And... - And we are with him, Trout.

- Old friends. - Hm.

Officer Lassiter, arrest this man

for interfering with a police investigation.

We're kidding. We're not with this dude.

- Just met the guy. - No.

I was just trying to get to my house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll be processed and released within the hour.

Well, maybe.

There's a chance that one of you might die today.

Probably you. Could be you.

Could be you.

Oh, it's go time, daddy-o.

Okay, is everyone crystal clear now?

Okay, let's move.

- Let's move, come on. - Uh, uh, chief?

Yeah?

I think we can call off the raid.

I've called you all down here for good reason.

The raid that took place here a couple of days ago

is a prime example of what I'm calling

"The New Santa Barbara,"

a city being swept clean of vermin,

yellow-bellied weasels, black-footed ferrets.

And the heroics that took place here

are something that should not and will not go unnoticed.

An unnamed officer successfully apprehended our suspect

without a single shot being fired.

That is the new SBPD.

No names, no faces.

Men and three women serving their city

and being led and nurtured by me, Harris Trout.

You know, it was the late and underappreciated

Millard Fillmore who once said--

Stay down!

I gotcha, boss.

All right, listen up.

Your new chief almost got killed today.

I want everyone here to think

about the impact of my death

just for a minute.

Let it marinate.

Swish it around the empty space between your ears.

It's immeasurably devastating, isn't it?

Now, let's catch this bastard and let's catch him fast.

I'm gonna hand the floor over to Detective O'Hara.

Today is her first briefing.

Try not to make this the most

humiliating day of your life, okay?

Hm.

Take it away.

Uh...you know what?

Can--can everybody come in a little closer?

Yeah. Yeah, that's good, thank you.

So we have an APB out on all late-model white vans.

Dude, if Trout sees us inside here,

he's probably gonna have us arrested.

Gus, don't be the 100th Luftballon.

We both know that yous and mees hit rock bottom, okay?

Psych hasn't had a case in what feels like a year.

And your sales last month at Central Coast

stunk up the whole frickin' city.

Whole city smelled like poo 'cause of your fusty--

- I get it, okay? - Good.

Because the life-coaching business

is not gonna take off until we have our first client.

Come on, son.

You need to tighten it up.

Tip-top, we don't stop.

Spencer and Guster knostin' boots around the clock.

Dude, that last part was weird.

It was mad weird. Super weird.

Now, you ready to do this?

No. What--

I'm proud of you.

And I see somebody who could use a little coaching.

Hey, Lassie.

I couldn't help but notice

that your career's in the latrine.

Lucky for you, I'm here to help you flush and start over.

Get away from me, Spencer,

or I will pierce your lower intestine

with a safety pin.

All right, just hear me out.

I know that Trout there has been turning a blind eye

to your heroics of late.

You wanna know why?

Because while you have been acting quite heroically,

you have not been speaking up.

And we all know that words are much louder than actions.