Dreamcatcher

Carl's Jr. has this $6 burger, which really only costs $3.95...

so you think you're getting some deal...

but the truth is, it may be the best franchise burger out there.

I went there yesterday and ordered three.

By golly, those suckers almost filled me up.

When I got home, I still had to have a box of Eggos...

but that doesn't take away from Carl's achievement.

I mean, here's a guy who's got to go...

- ...through life as Carl Junior, right? Barry?

Like he can never get out of the shadow of his dad, the original Carl, I guess.

Do you think this compulsive eating has to do with thinking you killed your mother?

That you're eating yourself to death as punishment?

- You do think you killed her, right? - I never said that.

She called out to you from that big, fancy oak bed.

- She said she was having chest pain. - I never told you any of that!

- How could you know this? - She begged you to dial 911.

But she was always calling out for you, wasn't she, Barry?

You weren't there. How could you know what happened? How?

- Doesn't matter. Stop blaming yourself. - Doesn't matter.

If you don't, you'll eat yourself into an early grave for no reason.

You're looking in my head! Stop it!

- Don't look in there. - You don't have to do it, Barry.

Leave me alone!

It wasn't your fault.

Jonesy?

Ah!

Hey, how are you doing, Henry?

What's that you say?

Are you going deaf? How are you doing?

You know. SSDD.

Well, yeah, of course.

Hey, I was thinking if you were free this weekend we might go see Duddits.

Yeah, absolutely. He's been on my mind a lot too.

It's been a long time.

Yeah. It's open!

I gotta go. I got a thing here. I'll see you Saturday.

Yeah, right.

See you Saturday.

So, Mr. Defuniak...

do you know we're both escapees from Maine?

You're from Pittsfield.

Know what happens to scholarship students caught cheating on exams?

You had the flu that day, didn't you, David? You didn't take the exam?

You missed the test. And since you were ill, why not write me an essay instead?

3000 words on the short-term results of the Norman Conquest.

- Go get started. - Yes, sir.

Better to be from Pittsfield than go back to it.

Thank you, sir.

How did you know? You weren't even there that day.

Sometimes I just know.

Hello.

This probably won't work.

Never start like that with a car salesman. We love challenges. Pete Moore.

In one hour I'm showing a house in Fryeburg. It's a big commission.

And I just lost my damn car keys. Could you possibly make me duplicates?

- That takes at least a day. - Oh, boy, I just knew it!

Easy, Trish. Maybe I can help. I'm always good at finding things.

- Did I say my name? I don't remember... - I guessed.

Now, let's find those keys.

- Hey, Rachel. - Hey, Pete.

- I looked again. I couldn't find them. Okay. I need your help.

You had the coffee in your hand, bought aspirin...

went to your car, realized the keys were gone.

- That everything? - Yes.

Look. This is gonna seem weird, but it's just a thing I do to help me think.

You bought a candy bar before the aspirin.

Mars bar.

Yours, right?

One more question. If I find your keys, will you let me buy you dinner?

West Wharf? 6:30?

Best fried clams in the state? It's right on your way back.

Sure. Okay.

- That'd be nice. - All right.

So you got here. You opened your purse.

Coffee, candy and aspirin, you're juggling it all around.

And that's when...

you dropped your keys.

It's just luck, is all.

Thank you.

- West Wharf, right? Half past six? - You got it.

Another fuckarow.

- Jones. How are you doing?

- Hey, Beaver. Same shit, different day. - Same shit, different day.

- Wanna talk? - No, you're trying to get home.

- What's up? - Really, I got nothing. Go home.

- Wait, Jonesy? - Yeah, Beav?

- You be careful. - Be careful of what?

Wish I knew.

Oh, my gosh. He's right there. Yeah.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

Right. Sorry.

Hey!

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! Oh, look!

Somebody call an ambulance! It won't do any good.

I looked away for one second. Then I heard a thump. What happened?

Careful, careful. Back up, back up.

Seriously.... My God! Professor Jones!

I just saw him. He can't die!

Is he dead?

I didn't see it. Why did he run out?

Clear!

No good. Flatline. Hit it again!

Clear!

- What do you think? - I think it's no good. I think he's gone.

Watch out for Ister Gay.

Out of my way.

Jonesy, don't try to lift that stuff.

Just go up to the cabin. Here, here, look. Big jacket.

- Beaver, I'm going in! I'll see you in a second!

Watch the beer.

- Got blown last night. Good for you.

- First time? - Bite my bag.

Met some lady at bingo, went back to her place, turned into a nice fuckaree.

- As opposed to a fuckarow. - Obviously.

Though I've had perfectly good fuckarees turn into fuckarows in a flash.

- Try Viagra. - Viagra?

I'm practically at full salute all day.

I'm.... What do you call it? Privatic?

Prag... Prasmatic? Henry will know.

- You're thinking of fourth grade. - You're having wood problems?

- You haven't tried it, have you? - Hell, no!

Drop that little blue bomb, you're hard as a Louisville Slugger for 12 hours.

Twelve hours?

I'm talking Yastrzemski. You don't have to need it to love it.

Bingo? Did you say bingo, like the game in church basements?

- There's trim there. - Beaver!

I thought my deal was pathetic.

- Ah! - You just watch. That's your job.

I'm fine. Uh-huh.

H, you been thinking about Duddits more than usual?

Uh-huh.

Remember we were gonna go see him that weekend?

- I remember. - Then I got hit.

I gotta tell you something weird.

The night I got hit, I was standing there and across the street, I saw Duddits.

Just like he was that day we first saw him back in Derry.

He was calling out for help and everyone was ignoring him.

Then he looked over at me. He looked directly at me.

And he motioned for me to come to him.

You believe I saw him, don't you?

Yes, sir, I do.

Duddits loves me, I know that. He loves us all.

He would die before he'd ever hurt us.

So why was he calling me into the street to get hit?

Maybe there's more to the story we don't get yet.

- You don't know shit. Name it!

I'll name it after we come up with a small wager.

- 50 bucks. - What's the subject?

In the movies, when people wake up together...

they immediately start kissing and going at it.

But they never get up first, take a leak and brush their goddamn teeth.

Which is pretty much necessary when you wake up.

What's it called when you got a constant woody?

- You mean priapism. - See? I'm practically priasmic.

Priapismic.

- Whatever! It's hard. - That's what you're betting on?

I can name the one movie where they acknowledge the scuzzy facts of life.

- I'll give you a quarter. - A quarter from you. 50 bucks from you.

- Promised Land. - Promised Land? Never heard of it.

Meg Ryan and what's his name? Reefer Sutherland.

- Kiefer. - From, I don't know, 1988 or something?

So Meg Ryan wakes up in the morning and says, "Where's the cat?"

And he says, "What cat?" And she says, "The cat that shit in my mouth."

That will be 50 small.

- Bullshit! You made it up. - Could Beaver make that up?

You can have that priceless piece of cinematic trivia absolutely free.

I'm filing that in the "Who-gives-a-shit" section of my memory warehouse.

- What's the memory warehouse? - You don't remember?

- I must've forgot. - You forgot the memory warehouse?

- Just remind me. Don't give me shit. - It's in his head. We've all got one.

- Hasn't that place been condemned? Not yet.

It's so crowded I throw something out every time I learn something new.

When I got my new laptop I had to throw out my files of rock 'n' roll lyrics.

My warehouse was washed away in a flood about 10 years ago.

I didn't know they had enough beer.

Hey. Hey, hey.

Jonesy, if that really is your name...

- ...what do you do with the old files? - I burn them.

- You threw out the "Blue Bayou" lyrics? - No.

No, if I really can't let go of something...

I sneak it back to an office where I keep my secret stuff.

Where do you keep the stuff on Duddits?

He's got a special section all his own on the third level.

I can't stop thinking about the Duds lately. How about you guys?

It's this place. He's all around here, even though he's never been here.

This is our 20th year coming out here to Hole in the Wall.

And fuck me, Freddy, here's to 20 more.

Yeah.

Twenty more.

Here's to Duddits...

our dreamcatcher.

Wish he was here.

To the Duds.

- To Douglas Cavell. - To Duddits.

Why is Tina Schlossinger's pussy on the wall of Tracker Brothers?

Because I said so. It's a picture.

- Have you seen it? No...

but the kid who sits behind me in shop, he saw it.