The Space Rodent

Thank you.

You have to open your mouth wider. I can't get that small of a target.

Okay, hold still.

Oh, my God. Hold on.

What? Yeah.

Oh, God, your hands are cold. Yeah, it's okay.

Tia, meet Tamara.

Yeah,

that's it. Is it?

Naked thing is too much.

Stay still.

Hold on, hold on.

Okay, don't move.

Perfect. All right, hold on.

What's happening?

Oh, yeah.

You have light all over you, girl. Oh, my God, I'm shedding. Yeah.

You're good now.

Okay. All right, Mac.

Wider.

Wider. Mac, you know the drill.

You're being ridiculous.

I like having friends.

Fine. No fire.

What fire?

I have got to hear this.

All right. So you guys know our friends Doug and Samantha, right?

Okay. Well, Mac thought it'd be a good idea to show Doug a flame trick.

No, that's not the story.

It was a barbecue lid. It wouldn't close.

He literally knocked the barbecue over and set their entire patio furniture on

fire. Wait, what?

Their brand new set? Did you have to pay for it?

No, thank God. With me just bartending and Mac out of work, we can't afford

that. Hi. Hey. No.

In between gigs. I'm in between gigs.

Yeah, for six months.

You see, I have a particular set of skills that I was blessed with, and they

should be compensated for. I think that's fair.

You know, we have a barbecue, and we wouldn't charge either, you know, if

anything bad happened.

Hey, now.

What? I don't see this place catching fire a bad thing. Okay.

You know what?

Fantasia never did anything but love you.

It's a never -ending story thing.

Don't encourage it.

I hate this place.

This place is a family heirloom. Your uncle went to prison, and then we moved

two weeks later.

Like I said, heirloom. I like it. I think it's cozy.

Thank you.

Everything is cozy.

Okay, please behave, both of you. You sure you just don't want to come with us

tonight? We're sure.

We'll be back around 3 a .m.

Well, why don't you girls just hang out with us tonight, I mean?

What, and watch Ancient Aliens with you? That is a great show.

So many discoveries.

Aliens are a fact of life, and we need to be prepared. In fact... Wait, no.

Babe?

Well, I was... Put the book away.

No. No, thank you.

Okay. Um, please feed the children.

What children?

The trick -or -treaters. You don't feed the kids candy?

I mean... Last year he put a sign out that read, Bring this bell and die.

There we go.

I mean, it's not ambiguous.

They're children.

Please give them candy.

Okay, sure.

I'll encourage the behavior of walking up to a complete stranger's home. The

third Halloween, yeah.

Walk the matches.

Top left door. You're welcome.

She can hear you.

Quick, he's talking about Fantasia. Go.

You want to see something cool?

Do I want to see something cool? Yeah.

Oh, now. You meant now.

Well, when you said cool, your bathroom didn't come to mind.

Magic time.

You ready?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Nice. Is that new?

Oh, yeah.

And that's not all.

Okay.

You install these yourself?

You really fancied the place up, didn't you? Oh, yeah.

All sensors?

I don't have to touch a thing. It really is like magic.

All right. I'm not going to. This is awesome.

I'm told that. This is fantastic, actually.

Wait, why did you do all the additions if Skylar wants to leave?

What? Why would we leave this place?

We've got everything we need right here.

Yeah, I don't know.

Are we really going to watch Ancient Aliens?

Oh yeah, I got like ten seasons. Go pick one and can I get you a drink?

Yes and yes.

Why is this in your car?

Oh, my God.

Fucking Dean keeps putting that in my car every time I'm about to go

What's that?

Give it to me. You know what's fucked up?

This.

Oh, yeah.

This is awesome.

This is fantastic.

Oh, my gosh. Who even has these anymore?

You know, they say that aliens live deep underwater and among us.

Like...

Regularly.

Yeah, I don't know about all that.

These are like records, man.

This is crazy.

Do you have something to play this?

Can you take a neat?

Is there any other way?

I think we're going to do season 11.

No, going on with the whole job thing.

You really think that they're underground? Like in the water

I see what you're doing.

Yes, I do believe, though. Okay.

Six months, though? That's... Well, it's more like five and a half, but... Yeah.

Look, I'm trying to start my own company, okay? And the process is taking

little bit longer than I would hope, than I thought.

But Amanda just... She just... wants me to get a job now. She wants me to get a

piece of shit job that pays shit, and it's stupid, and she wants me to give up

on my hopes, and she doesn't believe in my dreams.

I don't know if all that's true, that last part, but it's stupid.

Do you think that maybe she feels frustrated because she feels alone?

she wants the thing between you two to go further.

But you're not going and getting a job, not bringing home any money. It feels

like you don't care.

That's some deep shit.

All right.

Serious question.

Serious answer.

Okay. Seriously, though.

All right. Which drugs are off the table tonight?

And how far is, like, officially cheating?

Amanda. I know.

Okay, I want to get fucked up, but I'm not trying to fuck up my whole life.

Well, that's fine. So what drug?

Okay,

so... Weed? Yes.

Alcohol?

Cocaine? Candy.

Yay, all right.

Okay.

Okay. I don't...

What did...

I don't know.

Now this is a true work of art.

Oh, like an indie film.

Because of China.

Oh, God, no. This is a porn. No. No, no, yes.

It's naked people. This is an artistically driven narrative about two

physically expressing their love for one another.

Yeah, I know.

What's the title thing for?

The Night We Fucked.

We'd be fucked.

No. Fucked is a situation I'm currently in.

What are you talking about?

It's Max.

I mean, you know I love him more than anything, but he hasn't worked for six

months. Drained our savings.

Talking to him about it? No, I just don't want to piss him off, you know?

Okay, that sounds very wife -beater -ish to me.

Nothing like that. I just haven't found the right time.

It's a sensitive topic.

So let's switch topics.

Uh, how are you, Dean and Fantasia?

Fucking whore. Skye, it's not that bad.

Okay, it's that bad. You know what?

I've needed this for a long time.

Don't say that. Same here.

You know, we used to go on vacations all the time.

And then we just stopped.

Why? I don't know why.

So, these nights out with just us.

Yeah. They're my new mini vacations. Thanks.

You know, come to think of it, I don't think Mac and I have ever been on a

vacation. That's because you can't afford one. You're a slut.

I'm a vampire.

Okay.

Okay.

Happy Halloween!

Little fuckers.

It was faster.

Fair enough.

I miss that whole entire being super happy off of the Halloween.

What in God's name is that?

Oh, you know what? That was my uncle's.

Yeah.