Shadow People

Sub by: ongoL

Hey, guys.

Just watched a video sent to me by a follower.

Hey, everybody. It's Jen and I wanted to make this video in response to--

That sleep experiment video that's on YouTube.

This-- this video of some strange mad scientist guy.

Hungarian doctor doing, you know, tests.

- Experimenting on students. - Younger Asian male patients.

They have, like, wires connected to their heads.

I don't know what to believe on the Internet anymore.

What's going on, everybody? It's your man, Alpha Cat.

Welcome to this episode of "Ask Alpha Cat."

This crazy viral video that has gotten thousands of views.

Apparently, it's this viral video that's been going around the web.

- It's gotten tons of hits. - Some people have also said

that this is related to, like, a more recent rash of deaths.

Those deaths over in Kentucky.

Some people say that it's dangerous to watch it.

After watching it, they start hallucinating.

It's kind of creepy. I'm not trying to have some real-life "Ring" experience

where I watch something and then I'm cursed.

- Bump that. - It's pretty scary.

People just think I'm crazy.

- Obviously, this is fake, you guys. - This is something real.

This video is creepy as hell.

Like, nobody knows who uploaded the video.

We have no information. We have nothing.

This is a video that wasn't meant to get out.

I'd really like some answers.

Teng.

Teng?

Teng? Teng!

Teng! Teng!

Hi, Charlie. My name's Alex.

- Long-time listener, first-time caller. - Hey, Alex. What's up?

Well, there's this girl and I really like her.

So go up to her, start a conversation.

We really haven't met in person yet.

We just Facebook each other, but I thought it was starting

to get intense, and then she stopped responding.

I remember hearing a story about a girl

who fell in love with a guy on one of these sites,

and when she found out that the guy was actually one of her friends

playing a prank on her, she killed herself.

Now, what does that tell you?

It tells me that the bullshit we make up in our minds

can be dangerous.

It's got us living in a world where we're falling in love

with ones and zeros, with fake people,

when the real world is just outside.

You know the thing we still can't get online?

Chemistry.

That primordial thing, that animal instinct

that draws us together.

And without that, you got nothing.

Just a fake relationship with a fake girl in a fake world,

with nothing to show for it but real heartache.

So turn off your computer, Alex.

Go outside, find yourself a real girl.

Good luck to you. Next caller.

You're on KZTO's "The Night Shift" with Charlie Crowe.

Hello? Am I on-- on the air?

Yeah, you're on the air.

- My name's Jeff. - Mm-hmm.

- Jeff, what's on your mind? - I'm seeing things.

- What kind of things? - Shadows.

Shadows of people who aren't really there.

Oh, what, you mean like ghosts?

No, they're not ghosts. These are something else.

Uh, Jeff, no offense, but we get a lot of interesting callers

on this show, but this is not a nuthouse.

So please direct all your local insanity

to your local psychiatrist.

And what do we say when people waste our valuable air-time?

- We say... - Thank you very much.

Well, that's about all the time we have on "The Night Shift" with Charlie Crowe.

We have a ton of people on hold. Thank you for trying.

Try again next time when Charlie Crowe unveils

the mysteries of the unknown universe.

We'll be back on Monday.

Until then, good night, sleep tight,

and don't let the bedbugs bite.

- Big City Value Furniture... - Any word from Philadelphia?

Uh, yeah, man. They're not looking to syndicate us just now.

Maybe next year if our numbers come up.

You know this is the worst damn market I've ever worked in.

Night, Tom.

My name is Tom DiMartino.

I am producer and engineer for "The Night Shift"

with Charlie Crowe on Z104.

Charlie got this slot in the evenings

and needed a producer/engineer person,

you know, somebody to screen calls.

And so he said, "Hey, you know, you've got some experience.

Would you be willing to do this for me?"

You know, I was game at the time.

Seemed like a pretty good ole boy.

Last time I talked to him, anyway.

Like I said, he leaves a good tip.

How many times did he come in here?

Before or after 4:00?

That was a good show, Charlie.

Wish my programmers thought so.

If they ever can your ass over at that radio station,

you can come work for me.

No offense, Sparky, but...

I think I'd rather suck the end of a double-barreled shotgun.

Hey there, kiddo. What's the word?

Hey.

- How's Dr. Robert? - He's fine, I'm fine.

Thanks for asking.

Maid's day off again?

Um, what are you doing?

- Checking your fridge. - Why?

To see if you have anything healthy to feed my son with.

Hey, that's still good.

It's expired.

You know, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of our son.

- I don't like him eating junk food. - Yeah, so we'll go out.

I don't Iike him eating fast food either.

All right, then I'll have the butler whip us up something.

Don't be cute, Charlie. This is serious.

Can't I be cute and serious?

Don't you think you should stop wearing that?

It's confusing Preston.

Well, maybe I don't like throwing things away.

Clearly.

What about you, huh?

Is it better to throw something out after you're tired of it?

Trade it in for something new and shiny and rich?

I was impressed with the fact that he took an interest in my son.

Hey, wait. Hey, no.

I take an interest in Preston.

He just doesn't like the same things I like.

Hey, Charlie. How's the DJ business?

I'm not a DJ. DJs spin records.

Lovely to see you.

So what do you want to do?

- Nothing. - Eh, come on.

Let's go out to the park. We can throw the ball around.

Yeah, that would be fun... if I was 10.

Oh, all right.

- What are you playing? - Zombie Killer.

Yeah, that looks pretty violent.

Is that rated for adults or something?

Yeah, but Robert lets me play it, so...

Well, um, Robert is not your father,

and I would prefer it if you didn't sit around all day

looking at that garbage.

It'll rot your brain.

Yeah, you would know about garbage, wouldn't you, Dad?

It's not garbage. This is all perfectly plac--

- I need that there for later. - Good.

Bed-time, buddy.

Do you want me to leave that other light on for you?

Why, you think I'm scared of the dark?

No. I'm sorry.

I just-- I-- you're growing up so fast. I forget sometimes.

Since when do you care?

Since you were born, buddy.

Since you were born.

Preston, your mom's here.

- Have fun? - No.

- You beat my high score? - Yeah, look.

Yeah, I love you, too, kid.

Hey. So that kid from the other night, the one with the shadows.

- Yeah? - He drops a package off at my house

filled with photos and lab reports

of some crazy experiment from Camden College.

- Well, you better make a copy. - Why?

Because when the CIA confiscates it, no one's gonna believe you.

No, man. He's just some conspiracy nut.

Oh, please tell me you're not buying into this crap.

No, you know, it's just something interesting for the show.

Besides, you know, if my body ends up in a dumpster,

it would probably be good for ratings.

Yeah, actually, speaking of ratings,

I talked to programming today.

And?

They said if our numbers don't come up,

they're gonna start running reruns of Raunchy Paul in our slot.

Raunchy Paul? You gotta be kidding me.

I wish I was, man, but that's what they said.

Son of a bitch.

All right, we're on in 10 seconds.

Now here he is, the king of the late-night mic--

the one, the only

Charlie Crowe on your radio.

This is the tri-county superstation KZTO,

and you're listening to "The Night Shift" with Charlie Crowe.

Welcome, all you people of the night,

all you maniacs, brainiacs, and insomniacs who won't hit the sack.

Let's open up the phone lines and hear what's on your mind.

First caller, you're on the air.

Have you seen them yet, Charlie?

Oh, it's Jeff.

I thought I might hear from you again.

Did you get the package I left you?

Mm-hmm, I did, Jeff. That is some interesting stuff.

- What is it? - I don't know.