Baby Daddy

Danny: What's wrong with you. Tucker: Nothing is wrong with me, man.

Dude, just let it go.

No, I'm not letting it go.

Look, all I'm saying is if you're gonna bring home

a supermodel,

you should make sure you have one for everyone.

Milena and I just started dating.

I don't even know if she has any other supermodel friends.

Dude, everyone knows they travel in packs, man.

Look, all I need to do

is just peel a slow one off the herd.

Wait, guys.

I think Emma just said her first words.

- Really? - What'd she say?

She said, "Shut up already!"

We've been listening to this whining

for the last 20 minutes.

Danny, can't you help Tucker out?

Come on.

- Okay, fine. - Yes!

Thank you, Emma.

Hey, I cannot believe

you're not trying to get in on this.

I think I've just got different priorities these days.

I want someone special. Someone who gets me.

I guess I'm looking for--

Hey, Riley.

Oh, hi.

Making pancakes, huh?

Blueberry banana.

Remind me again whose favorite those are?

No idea.

Are you actually making blueberry banana?

Those are my absolute favorite.

They are? Really?

That is so-- what?

Okay, what's going on?

You told me just the other day

that you were completely over Ben.

Yeah, well, that was the other day.

So, keep up.

I thought I was,

but then we were at Katie and Dave's wedding

and we were dancing on the roof.

I don't know, for the first time

I just felt a real connection.

Did something actually happen?

No, but...

Come on. I've been able to manufacture

a whole 10-year relationship in my head

based on nothing.

So imagine what I can do with a few soulful glances.

Hey, have you guys seen this website

that Katie and Dave put up?

Everyone's posting links and pictures.

Dammit, if I even look good doing the electric slide.

Did you see that? That is-- I told you.

Wow, Riles.

I think you'd totally win the award

for cutest bridesmaid.

Please tell me I'm not really watching you

hit on Riley.

I can't help it.

I think--

I think I might really like her. I don't know.

You lived across the street from her your entire life.

How could you not know?

She did shove me in my locker

every day of fifth grade.

But we danced together on the roof at the wedding

and a part of me

hasn't been able to stop thinking about her.

Which part?

All of them.

And they don't usually agree.

Is it insane to think that she could ever like me?

If she did, I'm sure she would have given you a sign.

Hey Ben, the law firm that I'm interning for

is having this big party

and we all get to bring dates.

If you're asking me, it's an unqualified "yes."

If that was just general information,

have a great time.

I was asking.

I'd love to.

And that is what we call a sign.

Hey, you sure about this?

I mean, I just don't want you to get hurt.

I know he's my brother and I love him,

but it's Ben.

I know, I know.

But I really feel like he's changing.

You know, he's not "that guy" anymore.

Oh oh oh, Ben!

Ben, you gotta come look at this.

Somebody posted you

on "he said he'd call" dot com.

"He said he'd call" dot com?

That's this website where women post the names

of jerks who say they'll call, but don't.

Ben.

There is no reason I should be on that website.

Susie Kettle.

Oh, maybe.

Wait, Susie Kettle?

Bridesmaid Susie Kettle?

Yeah, most likely that Susie Kettle.

But nothing happened.

I was just all, "Hey, Sus, nice catching up.

Maybe I'll call you sometime."

Yeah, was that before or after

you were making out with her on the dance floor?

Possibly after.

You made out with Susie at the wedding?

- Just a little-- - Girl, we had to get the hose.

But you said you'd call her?

- Well, yeah. - And did you?

- Well, no. - Oh my God, Ben.

- What is wrong with you? - I truly don't know.

You are that guy.

That guy that every girl is warned about

but every woman thinks that she can change.

And I swear, I've known you my whole life

but I have no idea who you are.

I mean, who raised you?

Morning, boys.

Grandma in the house.

And I need 20 bucks for the cab driver.

He didn't go for my flirty face.

Hey, Riley. Trust me.

I'm not that guy.

Ben, you are the cover boy of "That Guy Quarterly."

And I know because I subscribe.

What's wrong?

Your son is selfish and immature

and has no respect for women.

In related news, the sun came up and the sky is blue.

Ooh. Pancakes.

Okay, Emma.

Are you ready to be Grandma's wingbaby?

I have decided

that today is the day I am finally gonna talk

to the hottest guy this side--

There he is.

Now remember, I get the one who's potty-trained.

Did you see that look?

Oh.

Why did I only shave up to my knees this morning?

Now watch and learn, Emma.

First impressions are everything.

Excuse me, is this seat available?

Sure is.

Just like the woman sitting across from it.

What is wrong with you?

You're jumping every time somebody walks in the door.

I called Susie and invited her

to come by the bar.

Oh, excellent.

A little pedal to the Kettle.

No no. I don't want to go out with her.

I just really want to get off that website.

So you thought making her

come across town on her lunch hour

to be dumped a second time would do it?

No, but a little Wheeler charm

and a free Caesar salad just might.

I think you're overestimating the food here.

Hey, can I get another one of these?

Yeah.

And a side of what Danny's having.

And this is how we say good-bye in Russian.

And this is how we say "I'll call you later" in American.

So?

Did you talk about me? What'd she say?

She said yes.

It's a double date tomorrow night.

Yes! Tucker is in the game.

Oh, yeah!

Hey, Riles.

Riley. What are you doing here?

Not here to see you. I'm just looking for Danny.

Hey, so about your party tomorrow night.

Oh, you know what? Don't even worry about it.

I got it covered.

So can I get a glass of water?

Or do you need to make out with someone first?

So, you're completely over Riley, right?

Riley?

Yeah, totally.

So over her. Just a stupid crush.

Hey, Wheeler.

Any chance I can talk you into being my date tomorrow night?

Yeah, totally. That'd be fun.

What? Oh no.

Uh-uh. You are not about

to dethrone the king of cool.

Did you see those moves? No!

Oh, hey.

Sue Sue Susie-o.

It's so good to see you you you-io.