COBRA

The capital has effectively been encircled,

without fuel and supplies, people in the worst affected areas...

...will die.

This is now a national emergency.

Cobra will remain active until its conclusion.

As you know, I have the highest admiration for you.

Get your hand off my arm, and back the fuck off.

I'm not some little volunteer

you can get handy with on the battle bus.

Anyone who's angry is out on the streets.

That is a hell of a lot of people.

Manchester, Birmingham. No more velvet gloves.

We're losing control of this situation.

I'm authorizing you to return fire.

She was a young woman who was just doing her job.

It is time to throw out this rotten and incompetent government.

Mum, it's Georgia. We were taking stuff.

They can't bring her round, mum! She's not breathing.

You need to keep it together, and I don't want you to speak to anyone.

Rachel coached Ellie. The PM knew it was going on.

Of course he knew.

Rachel Sutherland said posh white girls shouldn't go to prison.

The law must take its course unimpeded.

I have never interfered with that,

and I would never instruct any of my staff to do so.

After careful consideration, I have resigned as Home Secretary.

I intend to call a general election. I will not resign.

What's happening, Audrey?

What's the Naval Commander said?

Nothing, because I'm a girl, and he doesn't see the point of me.

But I'm sensing they're really worried the bad weather

might be moving the wreck about even more.

OK, keep me informed. - Fraser?

Yeah?

I just want you to know that I will never forgive you

for sending me out here. - Bring it up at your next appraisal.

I'll be bringing up my breakfast into the North Sea first.

OK, take care.

We are evacuating this town as a precaution.

Bye.

Please report to one of our information points.

We are evacuating this town as a precaution.

Please report to one of our information points.

We are evacuating this town as a precaution.

OK, so our problem remains the elderly,

who insist on staying in their homes because the wreck hasn't blown up

for 50 years. Et cetera, et cetera.

Someone should remind them Leicester City didn't win the league

until 2016.

The Prime Minister wishes me to thank you for your efforts

in evacuating the town.

I'd like to think that everybody

but the most hardline refuseniks will be out of here by the evening.

When we have received the proper analysis from the naval team,

then we can plan the next steps.

Thank you.

...clear. Bailout tested and clear.

We've got 2-8-0 in the bailout, requesting mains.

Copy that. 2-8-0 in the bailout. Bailout check complete.

Ready for mains.

OK, standby's on mains, ready to go.

Hi, madam, good morning. I'm not sure if you're aware,

but there's currently an urgent evacuation taking place

at the moment, so I'm going to have to ask you

to leave the property right now.

Mum, they're coming round again.

Ridiculous.

What's that?

No idea. - I'm getting some...

It might be another tremor.

Bring him up.

Command to Dive Team Alpha, prepare to surface.

Bring him up. Bring him up!

Get him up now. Get him up, get him up!

Command to Dive Team Alpha, mission abort.

Surface now.

These are the scenes from Kent

after the significant earth tremor that took place on Tuesday afternoon.

Following inspections of a sunken World War Two munitions ship

lying just offshore, the government is considering

the evacuation of towns along the coast.

We understand the Prime Minister...

...has convened a full COBRA to take place later in the day

to discuss the possibility of a mandatory evacuation

of the areas most at risk.

That's fracking.

What's fracking?

Causing all the earthquakes.

Problem is, Greta, they've stopped fracking.

Too little too late. Thanks, boomers.

Er...Gen X and proud of it, actually.

What are you actually proud of?

Oh, I dunno. Better music...high-status reading habits,

and not having all my predictable and socially conforming views

given to me by Twitter mobs.

You still murdered the planet.

Put the milk back in the fridge, or there will be hate speech.

He's impressive. - Who is?

Joseph.

Big change from Archie.

You have reservations?

I would have told you if I had reservations.

As a person, then.

I don't really have an opinion one way or another.

That's what worries me.

He's fine.

We're different...which is also fine.

The party base likes him.

Socially conservative...

working class, self-made.

Which is why I agree he's a good appointment,

because any more defections, and we're fucked.

Archie's on manoeuvres, by the way. Wants the whip back.

You wouldn't.

I most certainly would if I deemed it necessary.

Look, none of these bastards are my friends, Anna.

It's purely strategic.

How's Ellie getting on in Santiago?

Well, the trial took a lot out of her.

She has a new boyfriend,

a Chilean anarchist who sets fire to tube stations.

Take that, Neo-liberals.

Home Secretary.

Congratulations, Joseph.

If you were a drinking man, I'd offer you a nip of something.

Thank you, Prime Minister.

For the time being,

I am enjoying reading people online announcing

that I am no longer a black man.

Well, real rebels join the establishment, I guess.

Real rebels follow the truth...like Paul.

Paul? - Saint Paul.

Oh, yes. - Wasn't so great on women as I recall.

Especially short-haired ones.

Yes, he did give the Corinthians some grief on coiffure as I recall.

Paul's most important message was love.

Without love there is nothing, and only his love can save us all.

Well, amen to that.

Now that you have been sworn in, you can attend the COBRA

we have called on the earthquakes in Kent, which starts in er...

...five minutes ago.

Well, it's briefing room J, actually, but don't tell anyone.

It destroys the mystique.

Good morning, everyone.

Most of you know Joseph Obasi, of course.

This is his first COBRA as Home Secretary,

so I'll let him take the chair. - Thank you, Prime Minister.

I believe, Fraser, you will be updating us on the situation in Kent

and the sunken munition ship.

The naval teams are down there now.

There was some concern that the hull was damaged by these earth tremors.

Am I correct in thinking that some reports suggest

the long immersion in water will mean there's nothing

to detonate the explosives? - Yes, that is correct.

But there is also speculation that copper azide could be produced,

which might be sufficient to detonate the munitions.

So, do we evacuate? - Huge resistance to that.

So we make it mandatory. - I think that's the only option...

given the reluctance of the elderly to leave their homes.

OK, so let's say the tremor has shifted the wreck

and damaged the hull significantly.

Let's say it does blow up...

The damage would be enormous. - How enormous?

Reshaping the Kent coastline enormous.

I'd refer you to the Nova Scotia incident in 1917,

where the Mont-Blanc explosion took out Halifax

at the cost of 2,000 lives.

And as we saw in Beirut, catastrophic damage to buildings

and infrastructure, and terrible injuries.

We are also very concerned about subsequent flooding.

But it's been so long since the ship went down...

I know you hate it when I say this.

Don't tell me, we just don't really know?

It probably won't blow up.

Why haven't we dealt with this wreck before?

Too hard. More danger of setting it off by prodding it.

If the earthquake has damaged the hull,

then I would say we have to go for mandatory evacuation.

Get things moving immediately.

Right, lads at the back, come on, move to the front.

Those tables are set up for tonight. So...

don't be messing about on the coach to Chertsey.

Remember you gotta bring ID with your age on it,

or you won't be allowed to play. - Oi, sir, what's happening?

Sorry...did I say I had finished, lads?

But sir, it's the helicopter.

I don't care if it's the International Space Station,

sit down and listen while I'm talking,

or I'll be using you to demonstrate how to do a spear tackle. Come on.

That's it, sit down. We've all seen a helicopter before, lads. Come on.

Down you get, come on. There we go.

Sir! - Lads, get down. Lads!

Mr Hadleigh!

Sir? Mr Hadleigh!

And speaking of dangerous old wrecks.

Ah, Peter, thanks for coming.

What's this about? - Oh, you know.

How's tricks? What's the story?

Thought you might want to congratulate me.

On what?