MacGyver

_

The package is in hand.

I repeat, I have one agent KIA,

three others injured.

That sounds like one hell

- of an extraction, Commander. - Yes, sir.

It was a hell of an extraction.

Commander, is the package intact?

Yes, sir, the package is intact...

but refusing to talk.

Okay, Commander, see if you can...

Say again, sir?

We've got a massive amount of feedback.

Say again your last.

Sanders, I need your comms.

Commander, repeat last transmission.

Repeat last transmission.

The package is loose!

Take her down! Take her down!

Mayday! Mayday!

We're going down, we're going down. Mayday! Mayday!

Hey, guys.

Great news.

I found the extra-large spiders.

That's great, Boze.

Just bring 'em in and put 'em

with the others here.

Oh, man, that was even better than I hoped.

You do know

the last person who wore that mask

actually tried to kill me, right?

Well, yeah, that's... that's why I used it.

I don't know why you would want to take

a traumatic event in your friend's life

and use it against him.

What the hell are you laughing at?

What the hell is wrong with y'all?!

I'm so sorry, Boze, but it was really funny.

I expect more from you, Cage.

All right,

looks like just a few more tweaks,

and Mr. President's ready to go.

It's all fun and games, man. I almost lost my life,

but nobody cares, though, everybody thinks it's a game.

Oh, man,

I'm getting blood all over

my third-favorite Metallica T-shirt.

How'd I get roped into this again?

It's your "third favorite"?

How many Metallica shirts do you own?

Um, about ten.

Well, 11, counting the one that's framed.

What's your, uh, deal with Halloween there, Cage?

Back in D.C.,

I was known for my haunted houses.

Kids would tremble when approaching my front door.

I figured I'd keep the tradition alive in L.A.

Well, If you're such a pro,

then what am I doing here?

Well, you're here because you love Halloween

and kids and complaining.

If I'm complaining, it's only 'cause

these decorations are lame.

Seriously, don't you want it to be scary?

Oh, trust me, the house will be scary.

Well, I hate to rain on your parade there, Martha Stewart,

but these decorations are lame.

Hmm. Lame?

You want to get it really scary in here,

you got to go all-out, girl.

One year, me and my cousin George...

He's... he's crazy...

We go to a morgue, we get a real dead body.

We set him up

in a chair on his front porch, okay.

Right? Just like this.

It scared the bejesus

out of them little kids, man... They scattered like roaches.

You can't top that kind of authenticity, you know?

Hold on, so you stole

- a real dead body from the morgue? - Yeah.

But his funeral wasn't till the following weekend anyway, so...

- Jack? - Hmm?

I would never tell that story again.

- Ever. - Why?

It's a felony. It's not... It's not a felony. It's like a misdemeanor.

- Definitely a felony. - I think it's a slap on the wrist.

- Def... It's a felony. - Depends on where you...

Ooh...

Sorry, guys, my new ringtone.

Trying to get in the Halloween spirit... that got me, too.

Oh, it's Matty. We got to go.

- Now, like this? - Yes, now.

Don't tell me none of y'all ever stole a dead body before.

What's up?

Do I want to know?

Hmm? Oh, I, uh, cut myself shaving.

With what, a lawnmower?

- We were... - Never mind.

I don't care.

A CIA tactical team was returning from Senegal

with a prisoner when their plane went down.

The aircraft and the passengers are all still missing.

This is a complete list of everyone who was on board.

This is Commander Wheeler's team.

Byron Wheeler?

As in the vice-president's son?

Yes, which is why the CIA wants to keep this quiet.

The VP is anxious to get his son

and the tactical team home safely.

But Matty, I thought you said that the list of passengers

was complete, but...

the prisoner's info has been redacted.

The CIA is insisting that the prisoner's ID

is "need to know,"

- and that we don't need to know. - Hmm.

I'm working on convincing them otherwise,

but in the meantime, the focus is to find the plane

and the agents.

What happened there, where the plane drops off the map?

They flew into an electrical storm,

lost comms and instrumentation.

A storm strong enough to knock out

a plane's signal beacon? That's terrifying.

The last telemetric reading shows the plane dropped

5,000 feet right before losing its signal,

but the data cuts out right before recording a crash.

Are we sure they did?

No. I'm not sure of anything.

Unlike the navy and coast guard, who seem to be sure

where to focus search-and-rescue ops.

But you said they haven't found

- anything, right? - That's right.

Well, that's 'cause they're searching in the wrong place.

How could you possibly know that?

Well, the plane, it was in a nosedive

when it lost its signal,

but I think the pilot was doing that intentionally.

What are you saying, he wanted to crash faster?

No, Boze, I'm saying he wanted to build up speed

so he could use a controlled descent

and land somewhere...

yeah, right about here.

Are you kidding me?

No, I-I could show you the equation if you want.

I don't need you to show me the math.

I'm talking about the map.

Your little theory

puts them going down

right in the triangle of death.

See that?

Yeah. And...?

And need I remind you and everybody else here

that the Bermuda Triangle is as cursed as the day is long?

Don't look at me like that. Don't act like y'all haven't

heart the weird stories about that place, neither.

People who go there don't come back.

Of course we've all heard the stories,

but that's what they are... stories.

Come on, Jack, you can't really be scared

of the Bermuda Triangle.

I'm telling you right now, if that plane went down

in the Devil's Triangle, they're as good as gone.

Man, they're in the Upside Down.

- We can't do nothing for 'em. - You know what? That's enough.

We don't have time for urban legends.

Riley, I need you to task satellites

to Mac's coordinates and find that plane.

You're all wheels up in 20.

Mm-mm.

And you...

change your shirt.

No. I ain't going.

All right.

But I'm getting fully tacked up.

Two guns... One on the hip, one up...

I'm takin' two guns.

Go.

This ain't a job for us, Matty.

It's a job for the Ghostbusters.

Now!

I'm sorry, but a George Washington mask

is just not scary.

If Murdoc was running around wearing that mask

shooting at you, you'd be scared of it,

I promise you that.

You're not afraid of George Washington,

but what about George Foreman?

- George Clooney. - George Takei.

Curious George, that-that little monkey.

George of the Jungle?

- No one named George. - All right,

everyone is afraid of something,

but would you even tell us if we guessed?

Well, admitting your fears is a serious liability

for an interrogator,

and makes you an easy mark for pranks.

So you can guess,

- but I won't talk. - Hmm.

Bees... razors... cats...