Tony Rome

Gin. What?

Gin. You heard it.

Dirty, rotten bastard.

What do you say, Beau Jack?

HEY, Tony! Hey, Tony Rome!

What do you want? For you.

Yeah. Tony, This is Ralph Turpin. How ya been?

- What do you want? - I'm a house dick now. Corsair Hotel. Know it?

Sure, I know it. It's a hot pillow shop.

You must feel right at home there. I'm in a jam.

We need help with at girl who checked in last night.

What's your problem? Is she underage or is she dead?

Listen, Tony, you owe me, so out the comedy. You gonna come over and help or not?

All right, all right. I'll drop by.

But I'm warnin' ya- No heavy-duty stuff.

If it is, I'm just passin' through.

Manager's sore as hell.

What did he do? Catch your hand in the till?

The girl. He expects the house dick to back-stop everything.

This is Mr. Welsh, the manager.

She's still got her clothes on. What, did the zipper get stuck?

She checked in here a couple hours before daylight.

Under her own steam? Alone, and under her own steam.

But she was pretty far gone. She ain't underage. We didn't do nothin' wrong.

What did you call me for? We can't afford another tangle with the cops.

We already got a couple marks in their books.

Expensive clothes.

Good booze.

If she's a bum, she's good at it.

For a hundred bucks, you take her home. And don't say where you found her.

Pass. Too tricky.

Tony, wait. You said you two were partners.

Ex-partners. We got a divorce a year ago.

We closed the books, and it's gonna stay that way.

A report's been filed. She's a missing person.

She ain't missin' much, baby. She's married. Name of Diana Pines.

Her father filed the report- Rudolph Kosterman.

Kosterman Construction? That's the one.

The big wheel from Mayport. Oh, he's big.

Big? He holds a mortgage on Florida.

Now, what about it, Tony?

I can't take this girl home. If I do, they'll trace me right back to here.

Now, you do owe me a favor. I saved his life.

I could square that with a stick of gum.

Joke all you like, but that guy was taking dead aim...

at the back of your head with a .45. All right. All right. Cool it.

You get one favor, I get 200.

What? Two hundred?

Two hundred.

Okay.

Here. A hundred now...

and the other hundred tomorrow?

Deal.

I'm gonna bring the car around the side exit.

After I've been gone 30 minutes, call Kosterman and tell him I'm bringing his daughter home.

And tell chubby here it wouldn't be healthy if he forgets the other hundred.

He'll get it. He'll get it.

If the cops don't sweat the name of this hotel out of him.

Somebody'll squeeze somethin' out of Tony...

the day Georgia elects a colored governor.

Diana, where did you disappear to?

You're not hurt or anything? Does it matter?

Don't talk like that. I've been so worried-Daddy! Daddy!

Just what's your connection with my wife?

She's nothing but a $200 stranger to me, that's all.

Are you Mr. Rome? I'm Rudy Kosterman.

Do you mind coming inside for a few minutes?

Don't worry, sugar. It's just a hangover.

I'll get you something to make you sleep and put you to bed.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Slut!

Now that I've been introduced, who are you?

Tony Rome. Who's the woman helping Diana?

Mrs. Kosterman.

Oh, I get it. She's the mother and you're the grandmother.

She's the stepmother. I'm the leftover from last night's party.

Oh, my name's Ann Archer.

Slut-That's just a nickname. Only my dearest friends use it.

Pour you a drink?

Yeah, I'll have a gin. Make it light.

What time does the hockey game start?

How long have you known Diana?

An hour. How'd she get so wet?

I thought you'd know.

There was some drinking here last night.

She got a little teed off about something and tore off in a taxi.

Well, I finally got her settled down.

She says she passed out in a hotel room.

She couldn't have gotten that drunk.

Was she alone, or did you have anything to do with her condition?

She had intimate relations with a bottle of booze. That's all I know.

What was the name of that hotel?

That's where I fit in.

The management didn't want any trouble, so they hired me to bring her home.

Hired you? Yes. I'm a private detective, Mr. Kosterman.

Now, she's home safely. Why don't you drop the whole matter?

You know, I could call the police and make you reveal the name of the hotel.

Mr. Kosterman's a very rich man. He has a lot of influence.

He'd have to be rich to pay the tabs for the booze she drinks.

Oh, now, just one minute, Mr. Rome. You don't know my daughter.

She's never done anything like this before.

Now, she's in trouble. She must be. Why would she do a thing like that?

I think a psychiatrist can give you better answers than I can, Mr. Kosterman.

My only child disappears and comes back in this condition, and I wanna know why!

I'll pay ya to find out!

Why don't you let her sleep it off, and when she feels better, talk it over.

If she's in a jam, then you can hire me.

How do we know who this fellow is- or what he is?

Lieutenant Santini of the Miami Police Department can vouch for me.

My number's in the phone book.

Mr. Rome-What's your problem?

Would you give me a lift into town? I would be delighted, lady.

I don't think they have the makings of another party here. Ciao.

If you do know what's bothering Diana, you better tell me.

Rudy, I told you before, I don't know.

Tony Rome.

I never met a private detective before.

Kind of a dirty business, isn't it?

Maybe. Only thing worse is the people who hire them.

How'd you get into it?

Well, there's a compulsion among the lower classes to get money to eat once in a while.

Maybe you heard the rumor about it.

All right. So I'm rich. Why get mad at me?

Because it's not nice manners to tell a man who's in a dirty business...

that he's in a dirty business.

Where can I drop you? The Fontainebleau.

I don't live in Miami. I'm down here dumping a husband.

What did he do to get dumped?

He was just blah in a general way.

Money was his best feature.

And we lived in Buffalo. Have you ever been to Buffalo?

Never. I promised myself when I was ten years old.

Why don't we stop for a drink?

About that Kosterman setup-

Ain't it a little strange...

the daughter and son-in-law to be living with dad and stepmother?

I mean, don't you think it's a little too cozy?

The kids are building a new house. It's taking longer than they thought.

It figures. It'd take about six months to build a liquor cabinet.

How'd you get hooked up with 'em? I met 'em at a party.

That's all I do down here- go to parties and dodge passes.

Every man you meet thinks you want to play “slap and tickle.”

Tell 'em you're not interested. Well, that's the trouble.

Sometimes I am.

Why don't you flip a coin?

You know, it's the damnedest thing-

People like me are called F.M.s.

“F”- What? Formerly married.

We're divorced women. We can't claim to be the town virgins...

and we can't afford to be the town tramps.

What do we do?

Well, you could hang a sign on yourself-

says, “Occasionally promiscuous.”

You married?

Why not?

Up to now, I haven't found a dame who's a bookmaker.

See, I gamble.

And that wouldn't be a nice life for a lady.

Besides that, I- I live on a boat, and I like it.

A boat? Yeah, a little item I won in a dice game.

Would you like to come up for a drink?

No. Forget it.

It would make it too easy. For you or for me?

You're an interesting man, Tony Rome.

But I suddenly realize I've been doing all the pursuing.

Not healthy for my ego.

You can relax.

You're just suffering from a case of the divorcée blues.

What's that? It's kind of like a post-pregnancy depression.

Neither lasts.

Malcolm!

Malcolm!

Good evening. How are ya?

Come in.

Sit down.

You probably want to get to bed.

Mm-hmm. That's reasonable. You give us the pin, we'll leave.

Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm fresh out of pins.

That's too bad.

Well, do I get told why?

We could knock you out with a gun butt if you prefer. It's up to you.

- Or the chloroform. - Oh, I'll have some of this.

When.

Mr. Rome.