Jane the Virgin

Hey, you guys.

Welcome back.

When Jane was young,

her grandmother taught her

to protect her flower.

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And so, Jane waited.

Which wasn't always easy.

This was Jane's fiancé Michael.

He's a detective.

Their life was perfectly on track until...

Oh, there you are, Dr. Alver.

You have an insemination in seven and a pap in eight.

- I got it. She does not "got it."

Are you ready for your insemination?

Hi, yes!

I artificially inseminated the wrong woman.

And the father to be?

Rafael Solano, the rich owner of the Marbella Hotel.

See, Rafael had cancer

so it was his very last sperm sample... or so he thought.

But guess what happened?

Jane and Rafael, they fell in love.

So, Jane broke up with Michael.

And Rafael broke up with Petra.

Until Rafael started spiraling and broke up with Jane...

which for the record, he really regrets.

Also full of regrets? Petra.

See, she owns part of Rafael's hotel,

but she doesn't have the one thing she really wants.

Rafael. So, when this happened...

Your husband's sperm sample

was split into two vials.

One was misplaced. We just found it.

She naturally took it herself.

I know, straight out of a telenovela, right?

Well, imagine this...

Jane's father was international telenovela star

Rogelio de la Vega.

And he reconnected with her mother Xiomara.

And remember Detective Michael?

Well, he was on the hunt

for Sin Rostro, a notorious crime boss

who ran a plastic surgery ring, changing criminals' faces.

And Sin Rostro turned out to be Rafael's stepmother Rose.

And she disappeared and who knows what she looks like now?

I know, OMG, right?

And speaking of OMG,

Jane had her baby.

A beautiful boy named Mateo,

and then, this happened...

Bye, Mateo.

Which, I'm afraid, is where we left off.

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To give some context,

- _ - last night's episode of The Miracles of Mariana

ended with quite the frightening cliffhanger.

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Yeah, but,

I just don't know if I can stomach all the ups and downs.

Then don't watch.

Of course I'm watching.

- _ - Did you make me... ?

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- (shushes) - (speaks Spanish)

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Jane would think about

that theme song briefly when she was told

the worst news ever.

But that hasn't happened yet.

You see, we're only...

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Definitely not that one.

Wait, what's wrong with this one?

Well, he's got a hat on.

We got to send one out that shows his hair.

He's known for his hair.

He's known for his hair?

Well, he will be when we

send out the birth announcement.

Hey, what are you two doing over there?

- Nothing. - I agree.

Just discussing their drunken wedding night in Vegas.

- Where's Mateo? - Matelio.

How long's the hearing test take anyway?

He's only been gone nine minutes.

You timed it?

We're on a nursing schedule.

You have to keep track.

When he eats, which boob,

how long?

Mom, it's helpful.

- Hey, there. - Hi.

I'm here to take Mateo for his hearing test.

Oh, another nurse took him.

Really? Who?

Helen, her name was.

There's no nurse in maternity named Helen.

It should be noted that moments before

getting the call that would change everything,

Michael was feeling... well, I'll be honest...

a little blue.

You okay, buddy?

Oh, yeah.

Just, uh, I don't know,

a little blue. (chuckles)

Yeah. Me, too.

I got passed over for a promotion.

Again.

Ah, that sucks.

My ex-fiancée was, uh, accidentally

artificially inseminated with the sperm

of this rich hotel owner, who she just happened

to have a crush on in high school.

And they had their baby tonight, so...

Wow. You win.

Hello.

Hello, Detective Cordero.

Rose?

- _ - Or Sin Rostro.

: I always did love a good play on words.

Why are you calling?

Because I have something you want.

I want answers! That's what I want!

- _ - Where is our son?!

We don't know.

The baby's not in the hospital.

And I've just got word that surveillance tapes

show the woman, the one Jane described...

According to his chart, he hasn't had his hearing test.

Oh, it was a full house earlier. I'm sorry.

No problem. I'll take him.

She's on surveillance leaving the building.

We've called the police

and we've issued an AMBER Alert.

I'll retweet it.

Jane, honey?

Which brings us here now,

to that moment I mentioned,

when Jane wished for a theme song.

Something to tell her it would be all right.

But there wasn't a theme song.

There was only...

Michael?

Hey. Michael, someone took him.

Someone took Mateo.

Jane, I-I need you to listen to me for a second.

- Are you listening? - What is happening?

Jane, listen, I need you to clear out the room.

I know who has Mateo and I know how to get him back.

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Wait, Rose?

I don't understand.

What does she want?

Let's call it a trade.

I had a dragonfly broach.

Luisa took it when we last saw each other.

And it was of real value.

Apparently, it was logged into evidence at your police station.

Get it out and I'll give you Mateo.

Do the police even do that?

- Do they make trades? - It doesn't matter.

This can't be official. She said just me.

- What?! - Look, following her instructions

is the quickest, safest way to get Mateo back.

And that is all I want.

You know that's all I want.

I trust him, please.

Fine, but I am going with you.

- Okay. - Me, too!

Wait, what?

No, you just gave birth.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm his mother.

And I have to feed him in 92 minutes.

So I'm not gonna just sit here and wait.

I'm going. End of story.

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I'm just gonna need a hand out of bed.

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Grab those wipes.

And-and grab that burp cloth.

Oh, and I need pants.

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Hey, can you grab me that bag of, um,

- _ - adult diapers?

All right, let's go!

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81 minutes; Mateo has to eat in 81 minutes.

Just answer me... did you take the pin?

You don't have it?

You're not gonna get in trouble.

Did you take the pin?

We'll be right there.